The Prosecution: Dougie
“She says if you’re bagging items at the checkout, you’re holding up the people behind you. When Teresa and I go shopping at Lidl or Aldi, I prefer to pack the groceries the normal way. We take our trolley to the checkout, I put everything on the conveyor belt, and right after the cashier scans each item, I put it into a shopping bag. Once a bag is full, I place it back in the trolley. We finish packing right there, quickly and efficiently.
But Teresa prefers to put all the scanned items directly into the trolley and then go to the packing shelves at the back of the store to bag everything. She says that’s the correct way because, apparently, that’s what the shelves are for—to avoid congestion at the till—and that bagging at the checkout holds people up. I think my way is fine.
Teresa doesn’t follow my method, so grocery shopping turns into a weird packing competition between us. She races to load items into the trolley to bag later at the shelves, while I pack items directly into bags as they come. She even sabotages me on purpose. We end up with a mixed method: half our shopping packed in the trolley and the other half packed at the shelves. There’s never been an argument or cross words at the checkout, just a slightly frantic vibe as we both try to pack in different ways.”
Teresa says her way of packing is more ‘European.’ She’s from Eastbourne (which, she says, is closer to Europe) and has an affinity for continental living. Her family used to make booze and food runs to France, and she points out that Lidl and Aldi are German chains. I grew up going to Tesco.
This issue came up last year when we started living together. I think Teresa enjoys shopping and being in the supermarket. She wants to spend as much time there as possible, whereas I like to be in and out.
I’d consider switching to her method if she put the shopping away when we got home, but I’m the one who unpacks. The kitchen is my domain, as I’m mainly in charge of cooking, and Teresa handles the rest of the house. Still, I’d appreciate her helping with the unpacking and would be willing to compromise a bit if she did.
The Defence: Teresa
“He just doesn’t understand the system. The packing shelves at the back are there to help customers. Dougie had never really shopped at Lidl or Aldi before we moved in together, so he doesn’t get it. I’m trying to teach him the proper way. There are literally things in place in the store that support my style of packing.
Dougie wants to rail against this system because he’s a manager at work and likes to do things his own way. I also think it’s because he grew up shopping at Waitrose, where they used to pack your shopping for you.
I like to take my time packing my shopping properly. Aldi and Lidl are known for having very quick staff. I appreciate that, but it feels a bit rushed when everything piles up as it comes off the conveyor belt. I prefer going to the shelves at the back because it takes the pressure off. It’s the calmest way of doing things and, crucially, it’s the way the shop was designed.”
I want the checkout assistant to end the dispute by saying, “I agree, your way is the correct way,” but they don’t tend to respond to my desperate eyes. I tell Dougie, “Look, they are whizzing through the checkout, and you’re flapping around with the bag. Let’s just pack over there, as you’re holding things up and making a mess of it.” But Dougie never listens.
Last week, I made us pack at the shelves, and as we walked out, Dougie said, “That was a complete waste of time.” But my way doesn’t take longer, and it means things are packed nicely.
I think I’m like this because of my mum. She loves shopping in France, as we lived near the Channel Tunnel. I also have a deep…I have a vivid memory of when a big Lidl first opened and my mum started shopping there. It was a real eye-opener for her when someone showed her you could pack your bags right at the shelves. That lesson has stuck with me ever since.
We’ve been debating this for a while. Some friends recently visited and said it’s more efficient to pack at the shelves if you’re shopping alone, but if two people go together, you’d be quicker packing as you go. Maybe I’ll stick to the shelf-packing system when I’m on my own. I never put the shopping away at home, though.
You be the judge—send us your domestic disputes.
The jury of Guardian readers: Who will you send packing?
“Doubling the packing just doubles the time spent on a task that life is too short to linger over. Come on, Teresa, there are plenty of more enjoyable and ‘chic’ ways to take inspiration from our continental neighbours.” – Catherine, 41
“Please consider spending a little extra to have your shopping delivered. I try never to go shopping with my partner, especially not to the supermarket. It’s a disaster waiting to happen.” – Matthew, 50
“If the kitchen is Dougie’s domain and he puts the shopping away without Teresa’s help, then of course his system should be followed. It’s a no-brainer.” – Rebecca, 76
“It’s madness to pack at the shelves—it definitely takes more time, and I can’t see any benefit in making this mundane task even longer. I also don’t think there’s anything ‘chic’ about how you pack your shopping. If I were them, I’d try not to shop together to avoid clashing.” – Lydia, 31
“I’m with Dougie. Once the groceries are paid for, any enjoyable lingering at the supermarket is over. It might be simpler if Teresa just left the packing to Dougie. If unpacking is his domain, then packing should be too.” – Imogen, 46
Now you be the judge
In our online poll, tell us: is Teresa getting carried away?
The poll closes on Wednesday, 22 April at 9am BST.
Last week’s results
We asked if Rachel should stop mixing gold and silver jewellery.
3% of you said yes: Rachel is guilty.
97% of you said no: Rachel is innocent.
Frequently Asked Questions
FAQs Should My Girlfriend Pack Our Groceries Differently
BeginnerLevel Questions
1 What does packing groceries differently even mean
It refers to changing how items are organized and placed in bags at the checkout with goals like preventing damage improving efficiency and making unpacking easier
2 Why would we need to change how we pack
Common reasons include crushed bread or chips heavy items breaking lighter ones messy unpacking or simply wanting a more logical system to save time and reduce waste
3 What are the main benefits of packing smarter
It protects your food makes unloading quicker can reduce plastic bag use and minimizes spills and messes in transit
4 Isnt this just being overly picky
Not necessarily While personal preference plays a role efficient packing is a practical skill that prevents real problems like broken eggs or warm frozen food
Common Problems Examples
5 Whats the most common packing mistake
Putting heavy hard items on top of fragile items
6 Can you give a simple example of a better method
Sure A classic tip is the Foundational Bag pack all heavy stable items first at the bottom then layer boxed and mediumweight items with fragile and crushable items on top
7 How should we handle cold and frozen items
Group all refrigerated and frozen items together in insulated bags or their own grocery bags This keeps them cold longer and makes putting them away a onetrip task
8 What about raw meat
Always bag raw meat poultry and fish separately in plastic to prevent juices from contaminating other foods even if you use reusable bags
Practical Tips Advanced Considerations
9 Are reusable bags better for organization
Yes they can be You can designate specific bags for specific categories for ultraefficient unloading
10 Any tips for making unpacking faster
Pack items based on where they go in your home Put all kitchen pantry items in one bag bathroom items in another etc This is sometimes called destination packing
