Which show will Trump cancel next?
It looked like Trump had finally taken care of domestic terrorist Jimmy Kimmel when his talk show was temporarily canceled, but now it’s back on. Should we anticipate more censorship? Surely South Park is risking trouble by making fun of the president and his supposedly small penis? Maybe the president will surprise everyone and claim a nature show about squirrels is a secret antifa recruitment effort? Or perhaps he’ll skip the pleasantries and put Oprah Winfrey on trial for ratings (“You’ve never seen numbers like this!”)?
Should we boycott Spotify?
First, Neil Young and Joni Mitchell pulled their music from Spotify because they didn’t want to share the platform with Joe Rogan’s podcast. Now Massive Attack has removed their songs in protest of founder Daniel Ek investing half a billion pounds in a military AI company (I’m no expert, but that sounds at least as bad as hosting Joe Rogan). So, should artists continue to sell their work on Spotify? More importantly, should we as consumers keep paying for it? This debate gets especially lively if your host is using Spotify for background music at a party, allowing you to call them out in front of everyone for supporting future facial-recognition drone attacks—always a great conversation starter.
Heard about the comedians who performed in Saudi Arabia?
You might want to know the names of the comedians who recently sold their souls—sorry—embarked on a humanitarian mission to spread stand-up comedy worldwide by agreeing to perform at the Riyadh comedy festival. Many were outraged that stars like Dave Chappelle, Bill Burr, Louis CK, Kevin Hart, Jack Whitehall, Jessica Kirson, Aziz Ansari, and Pete Davidson (among others) took money from the oil-rich state, though the debate over whether they should have performed is actually quite nuanced. On one hand, Saudi Arabia imprisons people for parody tweets, dismembers journalists with bone saws, and often executes multiple people in a single day. But on the other hand, as Burr passionately argued, they have McDonald’s and Pizza Hut, and hey, nobody beheaded him, okay?
Meet your new AI art overlords
Later this year, Dataland—billed as the world’s first AI art museum—opens in Los Angeles. This follows Velvet Sundown, a 70s-style rock band that went viral on Spotify earlier this year despite being purely algorithmic, and Tilly Norwood, recently revealed as the world’s first AI actor. So, what do your dinner party guests think? Could they really tell a Louvre masterpiece from an AI fake? Isn’t there a better use for super-intelligent robots than playing bass in a band that sounds a bit like the Eagles? Should Norwood be in the next season of Celebrity Traitors? All this also serves as practice for future dinner parties where you’ll just sit alone chatting with flattering chatbots over a bottle of Huel.
How likely is a House of Dynamite scenario?
No dinner party is complete without discussing how close we are to being turned into radioactive ash. What better way to do that than by talking about Kathryn Bigelow’s A House of Dynamite, which imagines a rogue agent launching a nuke at the US, leaving limited time to respond. How realistic is the film? Is it as scary as Threads? (No.) And if this really happened, wouldn’t the US response just be Pete Hegseth blaming it all on woke culture? Oh, and does this dinner party have access to a lead-lined bunker?
Are you still team Taylor?
Maybe you haven’t had time to read all 732,643 think-pieces currently online (as of press time) about Swift’s latest album, ThThe Life of a Showgirl. But if you had to pinpoint one hot topic, it’s likely the rekindled feud with Charli XCX on “Actually Romantic,” where Swift claims someone called her “boring Barbie” while high on cocaine and questions why that person is so fixated on her. This obsession clearly references Charli’s song “Sympathy Is a Knife,” which touched on Swift but focused more on Charli’s own insecurities as a young woman. However you interpret it, please avoid delving into the song “Wood,” Taylor’s tribute to her fiancé’s penis, which is sure to ruin your appetite at this dinner party.
Erling Haaland: Classical Connoisseur
If a dinner party gets awkward, some adults might try to fill the silence with desperate football talk. You don’t need to memorize every team’s league standing; instead, impress everyone with a fun fact: did you know that Manchester City’s powerful striker, Erling Haaland, is surprisingly knowledgeable about classical music? Walk them through his recent playlist—from familiar classics like Edvard Grieg’s “In the Hall of the Mountain King” to quieter Nordic pieces such as Ólafur Arnalds’s “Near Light”—and maybe suggest that listening to Bach’s keyboard concertos is the secret to scoring an early goal against Brentford.
Who Should Be in the Next Celebrity Traitors?
Aside from Haaland’s love of Vivaldi, these conversation starters have been a bit gloomy, covering feuds, military AI, dismemberment, nuclear disasters, and mental images of two unwanted penises before dinner. So let’s brighten things up by guessing who might join the next season of Celebrity Traitors: I’m thinking Tracey Emin, Lola Young, Chris Eubank, Miriam Margolyes, Nasty Nick, Meghan Markle, John Cleese, and that guy who refuses to cut his hair until Manchester United wins five straight games could make for an entertaining show.
Frequently Asked Questions
Of course Here is a list of helpful FAQs about mastering the art of small talk with clear and concise answers
Getting Started The Basics
1 What exactly is small talk
Small talk is light informal conversation about noncontroversial topics Its a social tool to build rapport and break the ice with people you dont know well
2 Why is small talk so important
It helps you build connections makes you seem more approachable and can open doors to deeper conversations new friendships and professional opportunities
3 I get nervous before talking to strangers Is that normal
Absolutely Almost everyone feels some level of social anxiety The key is to practice which builds confidence over time
4 What are some easy goto topics for small talk
Great starters include the event youre both at the weather a compliment a shared experience or a simple question about their day
Common Problems Solutions
5 How do I even start a conversation
Use an opening line that is an observation or a question For example This is a great turnout have you been to one of these before or I like your phone case where did you get it
6 What do I do if theres an awkward silence
Dont panic Have a few backup questions ready You can ask about a recent movie their weekend plans or for a recommendation Silence is only awkward if you make it awkward
7 How can I keep the conversation going
Use the FORD method Ask questions about their Family Occupation Recreation and Dreams People love talking about themselves
8 How do I gracefully end a small talk conversation
Be polite and direct You can say It was so great talking with you I should probably go mingle or I dont want to monopolize your time but I really enjoyed our chat
Leveling Up Your Skills
9 Whats the biggest mistake people make in small talk
Talking only about themselves The goal is a balanced exchange A good rule
