Fatima Bhutto was born into one of Pakistan’s most famous families—a wealthy and powerful political dynasty defined by decades of bloody violence. With constant threats looming, keeping secrets became a way of life for her.
When she was just 14, her father, Murtaza Bhutto, was killed in a police shootout outside their home, turning her world completely upside down. The grief and trauma from that loss, along with the sudden, silent absences that marked her childhood, stayed with her into adulthood.
Though Bhutto built an independent life, with a glamorous career and travels around the world, she found herself drawn to a man who promised to “fix her.” That relationship plunged her into a new world of pain—one she kept hidden from everyone in her life, until now.
“I like to think of myself as fairly well-read,” Bhutto says. “I took psychology courses in college. I’ve seen the movies. I know all this stuff. I truly never imagined it was something I would put up with. And not only did I put up with it—I put up with it for a very long time.”
She speaks with Nosheen Iqbal about how she finally broke free. Photograph: Alice Zoo
Frequently Asked Questions
Of course Here is a list of FAQs about a podcast episode featuring Fatima Bhutto discussing secrets lies and surviving coercive control
General Beginner Questions
1 What is this podcast episode about
This episode features author Fatima Bhutto discussing the hidden dynamics of abusive relationships specifically focusing on coercive controla pattern of manipulation isolation and psychological abuseand how to recognize and survive it
2 Who is Fatima Bhutto
Fatima Bhutto is a writer and novelist In this context she is speaking from her research and perspective on power family secrets and systemic control applying those insights to the personal realm of abusive relationships
3 What exactly is coercive control
Coercive control is a strategic pattern of behavior by an abuser to dominate their partner Its not just about isolated incidents of violence its a sustained campaign that can include isolation surveillance financial control manipulation threats and eroding a persons sense of self and independence
4 How is coercive control different from a bad relationship or arguments
While all relationships have conflicts coercive control is defined by its pattern and purpose The goal is total domination and entrapment not resolving a disagreement Its systematic ongoing and designed to strip away the victims autonomy
5 Why focus on secrets and lies
Secrets and lies are the primary tools of coercive control The abuser often creates a secret double life lies to isolate the victim and forces the victim to keep secrets about the abuse which creates shame and cuts them off from help
Advanced Practical Questions
6 What are some subtle early warning signs of coercive control that people might miss
Early signs can include lovebombing slowly discouraging or criticizing your relationships with friendsfamily needing constant checkins controlling small aspects of your appearance or spending and gaslighting
7 How does coercive control often play out in terms of finances
Financial control is a key tactic This can include taking control of all income and bank accounts giving an allowance ruining the victims credit preventing them from working or making them
