Sol, 38
“João has been turned on by the changes pregnancy has brought so far.
When I first met João, I thought he was quiet and a bit weird; he thought I was crazy and intense. But at a party last July, when I was back home in Portugal for a few months, I felt a strong physical urge to go home with him. We spent the next two days in our own bubble having wild sex, and before the summer was over I was pregnant with his child. I was living in Mexico at the time, so if I hadn’t gotten pregnant, I don’t know if we would have survived the long distance.
I realized I was in love with João the day after we got together. It took him a little longer, but I remember seeing it in his face when it clicked. I’d thought he was sweet and innocent, unlike the more dominant men I’d dated before. Then I found out he’d slept with six people the month before we got together, including my friend. I’m not usually a jealous person, and maybe it’s the hormones, but with João I feel possessive.
I haven’t orgasmed since I’ve been pregnant… physically it just feels numb.
I have a strong, assertive energy, but in bed I’m softer, more submissive. We complement each other very well in that way—João is very masculine in bed and I can see how much he desires me, but emotionally he’s more sensitive. In my experience, most men don’t want to be with a dominant woman and get turned off by someone who is too sexual, but João isn’t threatened.
I haven’t orgasmed since I’ve been pregnant. It’s not that the desire isn’t there—I still get turned on, but physically it just feels numb. And I can tell João doesn’t enjoy it as much because of that. When João and I first met, we would film each other while having sex, but we haven’t done that since I got pregnant. I haven’t given him a blowjob since either, which I usually love doing. But the honesty and humor between us means he’s not offended by any of that; it’s just a temporary phase.
Even though I’ve been pregnant for nearly our entire relationship, sex is a big part of our connection and of my identity, so I really hope that arousal comes back after I give birth. I worry about who I will be and who we’ll be as a couple if it doesn’t. But I think it will. João has been turned on by the changes pregnancy has brought so far. He loves the belly, the boobs, the physical reminder that we’ve made a life together.”
João, 36
“Sol’s pregnancy has changed the way we have sex, but I’m also attracted to the changes.
The night we first had sex, a woman at the party assumed we were a couple, so we pretended that we’d been together for 10 years, then started making out as the bar was closing. It was a crazy night that turned into an entire summer. I wasn’t looking for a relationship, but when we found out Sol was pregnant, I was thrilled. I hadn’t known whether I wanted to have kids, but when it happened it felt as if it was meant to be. Even though we were very new, I really trusted Sol, and she gave me the confidence to have this child with her.
We’re not as aligned as we were, and sometimes when we have sex it feels as if she’s doing it for me.
This is how we do it: ‘My orgasms have become more intense since I had a baby.’
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Sol was living in Mexico at the time, while I was in Portugal, so we didn’t see each other for two months after that. To stay connected, we’d look at the photos and watch the videos we’d taken of us having sex. When I went to visit her, I was so excited to see her and her pregnant belly. But the sexual dynamic had changed. We both became more self-conscious and reserved, and the sex was less adventurous. Sol’s pregnancy has changed the way we have sex, but I’m also attracted to the changes—it’s beautiful to see her body get ready for birth. Her chest is bigger, her belly is rounder and she has this internal glow. OurOur connection feels stronger because we’re creating a life together. It’s easy to be close to Sol—she’s so open, almost shamelessly so. I can talk to her about anything without her being shocked. But since she’s been pregnant, I’ve felt a slight disconnect. We’re not as in sync as we used to be, and sometimes when we’re intimate, it feels like she’s doing it just for me. Before the pregnancy, Sol had so much desire; we’d have spontaneous sex during the day, in the shower, on the beach. It was intense, and I hope that intensity returns after the baby is born.
Frequently Asked Questions
Of course Here is a list of FAQs about the statement Ive been pregnant for nearly the whole time weve been together
Understanding the Situation
Q1 What does this statement actually mean
A It means that shortly after the couple began their romantic relationship the person became pregnant As a result their entire experience as a couple has been framed by the pregnancy its preparation and likely early parenthood
Q2 Is this a common situation
A Yes its more common than many people think Unplanned pregnancies can happen at any stage of a relationship including very early on
Q3 Is this always about an unplanned pregnancy
A Not necessarily but its highly likely While some couples plan a pregnancy immediately the phrasing nearly the whole time suggests the pregnancy began unexpectedly early in the relationship
Relationship Emotional Dynamics
Q4 What are the biggest challenges for a couple in this situation
A The main challenges are getting to know each other as romantic partners while simultaneously navigating the huge stresses of pregnancy and new parenthood Theres often little time to build a foundation just for the two of them
Q5 Can a relationship that starts this way actually work
A Absolutely but it requires exceptional communication commitment and flexibility from both partners The relationship is being stresstested from the very beginning
Q6 How might the pregnant person be feeling
A They might feel a complex mix of emotions joy about the baby anxiety about the relationships future fear of being judged and worry about whether their partner is staying out of obligation or genuine love
Q7 How might the nonpregnant partner be feeling
A They might feel overwhelmed pressured and like theyve had to fastforward through all the normal relationship stages They may also struggle with doubts about their readiness for such a sudden life change
Practical and Social Considerations
Q8 What practical steps should the couple take first
A 1 Open honest communication about fears expectations and desires
2 Prenatal healthcare Schedule doctor appointments immediately
3 Legal financial planning Discuss paternity acknowledgment custody intentions and create a basic budget
