Even the most jaded millennial might find it heartwarming to see an elderly couple showing affection. But Helen Mirren has pushed back against what she calls an “insulting” attitude, saying such condescension makes her want to tell people off.
The actress, who turned 80 last month, said the hardest part was dealing with patronizing reactions when she holds hands in public with her husband, Taylor Hackford. While promoting her new film, The Thursday Murder Club, she told the Times, “It really annoys me. If my husband and I are holding hands, someone might say, ‘Oh, look. How sweet.’ Excuse my language, but it makes me think: ‘Fuck off.’ Some people’s attitudes come off as condescending—they might think they’re being kind, but it’s actually insulting.”
She remembered her mother’s advice to never fear aging and pointed out that getting older has its rewards: you lose some things, but you gain others. “Tech billionaires think their money can stop time,” she said. “They haven’t learned what my mother taught me. Aging is a natural part of life that’s been happening for billions of years, and it’s beautiful to be part of that. This is what being human is about. You can’t shy away from it—you won’t be 30 when you’re 50. It just doesn’t work that way.”
Mirren has been reminded of mortality throughout her life, especially after losing loved ones. Her younger brother Peter died of skin cancer at 54 in 2002, and her stepson Rio Hackford passed away from cancer at 51 in 2022. “As you go through life, you realize death is a part of it,” she reflected. “It’s always tragic, and it can happen when you’re young.”
In The Thursday Murder Club, Mirren plays Elizabeth, a former spy who leads a murder investigation group with other residents of a retirement community. She loved the idea that life can remain vibrant even in a care home and was a fan of the story long before joining the film. “My girlfriends recommended the first book when it came out in 2020,” she shared. “It felt so original and full of charm—this eccentric British vibe mixed with a murder mystery, set in a retirement home where people are still sharp and eager to use their talents again.”
The Thursday Murder Club will be in theaters starting August 22 and available on Netflix from August 28.
Frequently Asked Questions
Of course Here is a list of FAQs about Helen Mirrens comments on patronizing attitudes toward older couples with clear and concise answers
General Beginner Questions
Q What did Helen Mirren say exactly
A She spoke out against people who act surprised or make patronizing comments when they see couples in their 80s being affectionate holding hands or going on dates as if romance and love are only for the young
Q What does patronizing mean in this context
A It means talking down to someone or treating them like a child For example saying Aww how cute to an elderly couple holding hands implies their love is childish or simple not a deep adult relationship
Q Why is this a problem
A Its dismissive and disrespectful It suggests that older people are no longer capable of deep love romance or passion which is simply untrue It makes them feel invisible and undervalued
Q Who is Helen Mirren
A Dame Helen Mirren is a highly respected and awardwinning British actress She is 78 years old and is known for speaking her mind on social issues
Deeper Advanced Questions
Q What broader issue is she highlighting with these comments
A Shes highlighting a form of ageismspecifically the societal tendency to infantilize older adults and discount their continued capacity for love desire and a full emotional life
Q How do these attitudes affect older couples
A Constant patronizing comments can make couples feel selfconscious embarrassed to show affection in public and can contribute to feelings of social isolation and irrelevance
Q Isnt calling an older couple cute a compliment
A Often the intention is positive but the impact can be negative The word cute is frequently used for babies and pets so applying it to a decadeslong adult relationship can feel diminishing rather than genuinely complimentary
Q Are there other examples of this kind of ageism
A Yes Common examples include assuming older people are not techsavvy speaking to them very slowly and loudly for no reason or making jokes about their driving or memory
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