I first stumbled upon Olly Alexander from Years & Years completely by chance. I was teaching English in South Korea at the time and used a BBC Glastonbury recap video in class. I spotted this ridiculously cute blond guy on stage who immediately caught my attention—the way he moved was so effortlessly graceful and unapologetically gay. He even did a pirouette.
The clip was so brief that it didn’t even mention the band’s name, so I had to play detective. I searched something like “bleached hair gay guy Glastonbury 2015” and scrolled through endless results until I found him.
I was 24 and openly bisexual, but I’d never gone further than kissing a guy. Growing up on Ireland’s west coast, my area was fairly liberal, but we still casually used the F-slur and called anything lame “gay.” In school, I liked girls enough to distract myself from my attraction to boys—but by my final year of university, I couldn’t ignore it anymore. I came out as bisexual to friends and family, but I did it almost aggressively, like, “This is who I am, and if you have a problem with it, keep it to yourself.” Looking back, I think I was defensive because I wasn’t fully comfortable with my sexuality yet.
Admitting I liked men made me feel vulnerable—it messed with my idea of masculinity. Even now, most people assume I’m straight. Back then, if I had a crush on a guy, it was always on some macho, football-loving lad. Discovering Olly was a game-changer because he was the first openly gay man I was genuinely attracted to.
After finding him online, I played Years & Years’ debut album, Communion, on repeat. In some songs, Olly refers to his love interest as “boy,” and hearing that word sent a jolt through me.
At the time, I was taking taekwondo classes, and I convinced my instructor to play Communion during training. Taekwondo is this hypermasculine combat sport, but it’s also fluid and dance-like. Moving to that music made me feel like I was balancing the masculine and feminine sides of myself.
During our most intense kicking drills, “King” would come on—a song about being desired by another man at a club. My instructor, a pretty traditional South Korean guy who’d made casually homophobic remarks, loved the album too. He had no idea he was vibing to music about gay nightlife.
That album unlocked something in me. I started going to gay clubs and actually pursuing guys. My first sexual experiences with men happened right around the time I discovered Communion. Listening to it now still brings all of that back.“Shine Now” – a song about the electric connection between two men – still gives me butterflies. I can’t separate the thrill of desire from the rush I feel when those first notes play. I started dating my first boyfriend around the time Years & Years released their second album, Palo Santo, so Olly Alexander’s music isn’t just about passion for me. It’s also about love.
Anonymous
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FAQS
### **FAQs: How Years & Years Helped Me Embrace My Bisexuality**
#### **General Questions**
**1. Who is Years & Years?**
Years & Years is a British pop band fronted by Olly Alexander, an openly gay artist who often explores LGBTQ+ themes in his music and public persona.
**2. How did Years & Years help you embrace your bisexuality?**
Their music, lyrics, and Olly’s openness about his identity made me feel seen and validated, helping me accept my attraction to multiple genders.
**3. Which songs by Years & Years are most relatable for bisexual listeners?**
*”Sanctify,”* *”If You’re Over Me,”* and *”King”* touch on themes of desire, self-acceptance, and queer love, which many bi fans connect with.
#### **Personal Impact**
**4. Did Olly Alexander coming out as gay influence you?**
Yes—seeing a successful artist proudly embrace his sexuality made me feel more comfortable exploring and accepting my own.
**5. How did Years & Years’ performances or visuals help you?**
Their bold, queer-inclusive music videos and stage presence normalized same-sex attraction, making bisexuality feel more natural to me.
#### **Challenges & Support**
**6. Did you struggle with biphobia before embracing your identity?**
Yes, but Years & Years’ unapologetic queer representation helped me push past internalized doubts and external stereotypes.
**7. How can I use their music to feel more confident in my bisexuality?**
Listen to lyrics about self-acceptance, watch their queer-positive performances, and engage with fan communities that celebrate LGBTQ+ identities.
#### **Community & Representation**
**8. Are there other bi fans of Years & Years?**
Absolutely! Many bi+ fans connect with their music because it doesn’t limit attraction to one gender.
**9. Why is queer representation like Years & Years important for bisexuals?**
It challenges the idea that attraction must be binary, helping bi people feel less invisible in both straight and gay spaces.
#### **Next Steps**
**10. Where can I find more LGBTQ+ artists like Years & Years?**
Artists like Troye Sivan, Hayley Kiyoko, and Janelle Monáe also
