The Prosecution: Odysseus
“Fay likes to be on the front row, but I think it’s overrated.”
Fay and I love going to concerts – we probably go to about five a year together. Fay likes to get there as early as possible, ideally before the venue opens so we can queue up. When the doors open, she wants to rush in and grab the best spot, preferably in the front row.
I just want to arrive for the main act. If there are three or four support acts, I don’t think we need to watch all of them. If we have to get there before the main act, I’d rather arrive just before the main support. That way we can enjoy the concert and still feel fresh, without waiting for hours beforehand. If we do that, we usually still get a good spot.
I enjoy heavy metal concerts with smaller crowds, and no one gets there early because there’s no need. People push and mosh around. Usually, the mainstream bands – which I think are lower quality – have bigger audiences. We went to see Coldplay in Austria last year and had to queue in the sun. Inside, we waited three hours for them to come on. By then, I was exhausted.
Fay is short, so she wants a good spot so she can see. But I’ve told her she can sit on my shoulders.
Fay likes to be at the front, but I think it’s overrated. You can’t go grab food or use the toilet for fear of losing your spot. Plus, it’s hard to get in and out of the crowd.
At a gig at Wembley, we didn’t go to the toilet because Fay was by the barrier at the front. She deliberately doesn’t drink water so she can watch the show without having to go, but getting dehydrated is dangerous.
Fay is short and wants a good spot so she can see, but I’ve said she can sit on my shoulders. She says getting to a concert late means we have to push through people to get a good position. We did this once, and I managed to get us a space that was only 20 people from the front. Another time, we got in late and Fay still made it to the front. Fay says she doesn’t like pushing past people and filling in the gaps in a crowd, but those gaps are there to be filled.
I’m happy to get to a gig slightly early so Fay can see, but some people queue from the morning. I definitely don’t want to queue for hours before it’s even started.
You be the judge – send us your domestic disputes.
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The Defence: Fay
“I enjoy the support acts. They’re part of the experience.”
What Odysseus calls low-quality bands are actually popular bands. He says good-quality bands are the ones no one knows, which are easier to get into and don’t have crowds, but I don’t agree. Coldplay are my favourite, but he enjoys them too.
We’ve never been stuck in a crowd or unable to go to the toilet. We take turns going to the toilet and getting back to our spot easily enough.
Odysseus likes to arrive later and then try to squeeze past people, but it annoys them.
Odysseus is 1.88 metres tall (6ft 2in), while I’m only 1.59 metres (5ft 2in). He can see everything no matter where he is in the crowd. I’m the one who can’t see. Odysseus will offer to put me on his shoulders, but I wouldn’t be comfortable sitting there for more than a few minutes, so that doesn’t help if the show is three hours long. We both love music and concerts, so who cares if we’re a bit inconvenienced by adding three hours of queueing to our day? We get rewarded by being on the first or second row and can see the whole act.
Odysseus likes to arrive later and then try to squeeze past people, but it annoys them. He almost got into a fight with a woman once to get me to the barrier. I appreciated it, but she’d probably queued for ages to get that spot. He tries to fix being late by pushing past people, but it makes me uncomfortable. He says, “It’s OK, it’s a concert, we can do that,” but it’s embarrassing. People need space to move freely and breathe.
We went to see Ne-Yo and Akon recently and paid £500 for VIP tickets, but it was super crowded and I couldn’t see anything. I’d rather just buyBuy normal tickets and get there early. As for staying hydrated, I always set alarms to remind myself to drink water, since I tend to forget—even when I’m not at a concert. So it’s really no different from my everyday life.
I love everything about going to concerts. The waiting and the warm-up acts are all part of the experience—it’s not just about the main act. I want to keep arriving before the doors open. These events bring us so much joy, so what difference does a few more hours make if it means we get a good spot?
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The jury of Guardian readers
At 6ft 2in, Odysseus doesn’t understand the pain of being too short to see properly at concerts. He should be more sympathetic to Fay and get there early.
– Sasha, 39
The case for the prosecution falls apart with Fay’s claim that “Odysseus almost fought with a woman once to get me to the barrier … she’d probably queued for ages to get that spot.” Dude, that totally goes against the spirit and etiquette of a live music performance.
– Ali, 42
I sympathize with Odysseus, but if Fay can’t see and wants to watch the support acts, he needs to suck it up and be there for her. Who knows, he might learn to enjoy the full experience like Fay does.
– Sid, 63
Fay needs to be at the front so she can see, but if she goes with Odysseus, it means the short people behind him can’t see either! Does Fay have other friends who could be her concert buddy sometimes? Pushing to the front as a tall person isn’t going to make you popular!
– Donna, 34
With how expensive concert tickets are these days, they’re lucky to go to so many shows. Maybe that’s why Fay is so keen to experience the whole thing? If Odysseus isn’t interested in the support acts, why doesn’t Fay head in earlier for the warm-up, and then Odysseus can come later for the main show and find her at the front.
– Clara, 33
Now you be the judge
In our online poll, tell us: is Fay making a poor show of things?
The poll closes on Wednesday 29 July at 9am BST.
Last week’s results
We asked if Tolu should stop buying so many flowers.
59% of you said yes – Tolu is guilty.
41% of you said no – Tolu is not guilty.
Frequently Asked Questions
Here is a list of FAQs based on your topic written in a natural tone with clear direct answers
BeginnerLevel Questions
1 Why does my girlfriend want to get to concerts so early
She probably wants to get a spot right at the front of the stage for the best view and to be close to the artist For superfans that experience is worth the wait
2 Is it really that big of a deal to wait for a few hours
It depends on your priorities For her its a big deal For you standing around for 34 hours can be boring exhausting and uncomfortable Its a difference in how you value your time and comfort
3 What if I just dont want to wait Can we meet up inside
Yes thats a common compromise You can agree to arrive later grab a drink or food and find her in the crowd once the show starts Just make sure you have a meeting spot and good cell service
4 Wont we have a good time even if were not at the front
Absolutely Many people prefer being further back where theres more room to dance better sound and a clearer view of the whole stage The energy is still amazing
AdvancedLevel Questions
5 What if the concert has General Admission standing room only
In GA being early is the only way to get close If shes determined to be frontrow waiting is unavoidable Your options are to join her find a spot on the side or balcony or skip the show together
6 Is there a way to get close without waiting for hours
Sometimes Some venues sell VIP packages that include early entry or a designated front section You can also try upgrading to a seated section or a balcony spot Check the venues website before buying tickets
7 How do I bring this up without sounding like Im ruining her fun
Frame it as a personal preference not a criticism Say something like I love going to shows with you but the long wait really drains my energy Could we try a compromise for the next one Focus on finding a solution together
