When Tori Dunlap writes a letter or email to a heterosexual couple, she puts the woman’s name first in the greeting. When her close friend got married, Dunlap waited until the name-change documents were officially signed before updating her surname in her phone contacts. These small acts of defiance aren’t activism. They’re “microfeminisms,” or as Dunlap, 31, describes them, “little actions for women’s equality, as opposed to going to a protest or donating to a cause you believe in.”
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Dunlap, a Seattle-based author and podcast host focused on promoting women’s financial literacy, posted on TikTok last year asking her 2.4 million followers: “Tell me your most unhinged way that you practice microfeminism.” The comments section filled with niche—and not entirely serious—answers, like starting every work presentation by saying “hello ladies and sons of ladies” and “immediately assuming men are talking about women’s sports instead of men’s.”
Women on TikTok have revived the trend in recent weeks, sharing their own microfeminisms. “I call the spiders MOMMY long legs,” one user wrote in her TikTok caption. “Only planting female trees in my yard,” said one commenter. “As a waitress, whenever a couple orders the same thing, I give the larger portion or better looking one to the female,” wrote another.
The examples go on: “I default to ‘she’ when I don’t know the gender of an animal.” Saying, “‘I like your costume’ when they’re wearing a jersey.” “Instead of ‘Thank God,’ I say, ‘Thank Goddess.'” “Assume the drink with the fruit and the umbrella is the man’s order.”
Women constantly experience all these assumptions that are incredibly sexist, but we just kind of accept them.
Andrea Press
The term “microfeminism” echoes the concept of “microaggressions,” or everyday instances of bias based on race, gender, sexual orientation, or disability: the store manager who follows Black customers around, thinking they’ll shoplift, or the parent telling their newly out child that it’s “just a phase.” Microfeminisms push back on what Andrea Press, a professor of sociology and media studies at the University of Virginia, calls “everyday sexism” by flipping expected gender roles. (She co-wrote a book on the topic in 2021.)
“Women constantly experience all these assumptions that are incredibly sexist but we just kind of accept: women will make dinner, or asking them ‘do you work?’ while you assume men always work,” Press said. “[Microfeminism] is evidence that women’s consciousness is somewhat raised in this current environment so that they notice everyday sexism that our culture basically incorporates into common sense and normal life.”
Under this deeply antifeminist presidential administration, US women have faced the systemic erosion of reproductive and civil rights, along with a wider cultural shift toward misogyny led by rightwing manosphere figures. Against this backdrop, discussion of microfeminism “turns into this really interesting microcosm of what it is to be a feminist today,” Dunlap said. “These small actions are ways that we can contribute to our own equity and equality.”
Jordan Palermo, a 24-year-old from Toronto, didn’t grow up with gendered assumptions; her mother worked while her father did most of the household chores and child rearing. But later, when she got a job in the hospitality industry, she realized that “a lot of people perform gender roles in their day-to-day life without realizing it.”
Palermo believes it’s important for women to call out microaggressions from men that might otherwise go unnoticed, because they speak to larger issues about equality and autonomy. She practices microfeminism herself.When she refuses to step aside for men on the sidewalk—men who often expect her to move and sometimes walk right into her—she says, “It’s about being able to take up space in public settings.”
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Brianna Wood, a 34-year-old therapist, content creator, and mother of five, has faced the same issue with men, even when she’s out walking with her children and a stroller. “I don’t move out of the way, but that’s really hard to do, especially if you’re a smaller person,” she said.
Wood has posted TikToks about microfeminism that have been viewed over a million times. She says this content “makes a certain type of man very angry.”
Digital spaces can be hostile to women, with misogynists using their hate and toxic masculinity to harass feminists in their inboxes or comment sections. When a manosphere influencer claims that men are the “real victims” of DEI and gender equality—a favorite talking point of theirs—those ideas spread to anonymous followers. Wood noticed some men in her comments calling microfeminism acts of sexism—against men.
“I’m like, yes, that’s exactly the point!” Wood said. “If you flip the script, it looks very sexist to men. So if you’re doing it to women, it’s also sexist, too.”
Frequently Asked Questions
Here is a list of FAQs about the concept of microfeminisms and the phrase Hello ladies and sons of ladies written in a natural conversational tone
BeginnerLevel Questions
1 What exactly is a microfeminism
Its a small everyday action that gently challenges sexist norms or gender roles Think of it as a tiny lowstakes act of rebellionlike correcting a gendered assumption in a conversation or choosing different words
2 What does the phrase Hello ladies and sons of ladies mean
Its a playful example of a microfeminism It flips the script on the common greeting Hello guys and girls or Ladies and gentlemen By saying ladies and sons of ladies it makes women the default group subtly highlighting how often men are treated as the standard
3 Why would someone use a phrase like that
To make a point without being aggressive Its a way to point out the imbalance in how we address groups Its funny a bit cheeky and makes people pause and think about language
4 Isnt this just political correctness gone too far
Not really Its more about awareness than censorship The goal isnt to ban phrases but to question why certain defaults exist Most people find it harmless and thoughtprovoking not offensive
5 Do microfeminisms actually help
Yes in small but meaningful ways They can change the tone of a conversation make people feel more included and over time shift how we think about gender rolesone tiny moment at a time
Advanced Deeper Questions
6 How is a microfeminism different from mansplaining or manspreading
Microfeminisms are responses to gender imbalances not the imbalances themselves Mansplaining is a behavior that condescends to women a microfeminism is a small act that pushes back against that dynamic
7 Can microfeminisms backfire or be misunderstood
Yes If the person using it is perceived as angry or if the context is tense it can seem passiveaggressive The key is deliveryusing humor a light tone and a clear Im just pointing something out vibe
