A man calling himself “Rod Kissme” boasts of having “very strong sperm.” While this might seem like an odd claim for a Facebook profile, it’s not out of place in the online communities where men like Rod offer their services. These groups are where women and couples often come to pursue their dream of becoming parents.
Online sperm donor groups on social media are growing in number. They provide an unregulated and risky, yet surprisingly direct, path to parenthood. Groups such as Sperm Donors UK, Start a Family Here, and “Get Your BABYDUST Here!” are thriving, partly because the official route through HFEA-regulated clinics is prohibitively expensive. For those following the rules, costs can easily reach tens of thousands of pounds, especially if pregnancy isn’t achieved on the first try. Long waits and shortages of donors from specific religious or ethnic backgrounds also push many toward unregulated options.
In the UK, selling sperm for profit is illegal; donors can only be reimbursed for legitimate expenses. But the illegal route carries significant risks. Many women in these groups share stories of bad experiences. One woman in a same-sex relationship reported that their donor refused to proceed unless she and her partner showed him their breasts. Even more concerning are the responses to such posts, with some suggesting the couple should have gone to a sperm bank if they weren’t open to a threesome. Sensitivity seems scarce in the competitive world of online sperm donation.
Felicity, a member of a Facebook group, noted that membership surged to 10,000 within a year, with thousands of young women aged 18 to 25 joining. Hasty online arrangements can lead to family court disputes, and judges have warned about the dangers of these informal deals. A recent Guardian investigation highlighted Robert Albon, an unregulated donor who claims to have 180 children worldwide and is now seeking access to them through courts in England and Wales, creating a “horror story” for the women involved.
Felicity (a pseudonym), a 39-year-old divorced mother of one who wanted another child, joined the Start a Family Here group five or six years ago. She had previously undergone IVF due to male infertility, which she described as an awful experience, and despite having the funds, she didn’t want to go through it again. Initially, the group was quiet, with only a few posts each week. But a couple of years ago, media attention brought a flood of new members. Suddenly, thousands of young women joined, anonymous posting became common, and many rushed into requests for last-minute donations without doing proper research.
Recent posts include an 18-year-old hoping to get pregnant, someone seeking a donor “with a high rate of girls,” and numerous urgent requests, such as one from a woman ovulating and let down by a donor, asking for a donation “this evening.” Felicity views the younger members as “very immature and selfish,” noting that many seem to have mental health issues, with some posting about suicide attempts alongside their search for a donor, or appearing to seek a baby as a solution to family trauma.
The high costs of IVF treatment, which can easily run into tens of thousands of pounds, are a key reason why people turn to online donation.Sperm donor groups are very popular. The donors tend to be significantly older than the recipients, with most appearing to be between 35 and 50 years old. Felicity notes that this age gap creates a significant risk of donors exploiting and manipulating younger women.
A common tactic warned about in these communities involves men pressuring women into having sex. They may tell those who prefer using artificial insemination methods like a syringe or baster that sexual intercourse has a higher success rate for pregnancy, which is untrue.
Sex, often referred to as “natural insemination” in these groups, is not the preferred method for most women. However, recipients who are desperate to become pregnant can be convinced to cross their own boundaries.
Many posts in these groups come from individuals who will only donate through sex or a method called “partial insemination,” where the donor inserts his penis just before ejaculation.
In one example, a man who complained about rude recipients stated he would only donate through natural insemination. Others, like a young Russian donor, simply write things like: “Natural insemination is free; artificial insemination costs money.”
Felicity points out that a major issue is Facebook’s algorithm, which promotes these groups to people it identifies as having similar interests. She jokes, “One swinger joins a sperm donor group, and Facebook advertises it to all his friends in groups like ‘Big Women for Desperate Losers.’ These men lurk in the background, privately messaging new members, sending explicit photos, and getting a thrill from discussing the process with women.”
She adds, “Some may even seem genuine and arrange meetings, but it’s just a fantasy for them. The women who get involved often fall for these tricks and scammers.”
The Guardian has learned that Facebook is now investigating the content in these groups.
Beyond the risks of sexual assault and harassment, there are dangers of serious sexually transmitted diseases, hidden genetic disorders, and creating a child with someone to whom you could be legally tied for life.
Felicity, a member of a Facebook group, observes that recipients sometimes live in a fantasy world, pretending the donor doesn’t exist.
In a 2022 case, James MacDougall was identified by a family court judge for donating sperm despite knowing he carried fragile-X syndrome, a genetic condition that can cause learning disabilities and cognitive impairment in children.
Donors also face their own challenges. Men who offer their services can endure personal abuse, especially about their appearance. For instance, under photos of a man in his 50s with curly, dyed black hair, commenters wrote hurtful remarks like, “Are you making Gary Glitter clones?” and “Don’t let it breed.”
Felicity explains, “Recipients often treat men like sperm vending machines, expecting them to travel, provide a sample, and then disappear forever. They live in a fantasy where the donor doesn’t matter.”They don’t exist and don’t care that the child might have different feelings about it.
Younger, conventionally attractive men tend to be very popular as sperm donors. These prolific donors can quickly become minor celebrities in the sperm donation community.
Men in their 20s and 30s, especially from the U.S., often travel the world earning money by selling sperm. They also profit from social media content on platforms like Instagram and TikTok, sharing videos about their lives and offering advice to women on how to get pregnant.
Using online sperm sellers comes with risks, including sexually transmitted diseases and undisclosed genetic disorders.
One such influencer is German sperm donor Daniel Bayen, who recently visited the UK. The 25-year-old posts videos from around the world promoting openness and transparency about being a frequent donor. He responds to followers’ questions, discusses the connections he forms with recipient families, and expresses pride when he sees photos of his biological children—though he doesn’t reveal how many he has.
Bayen, who was himself conceived through sperm donation and has about 30 half-siblings, uses a homemade “sibling registry” to track his biological children. He also runs a Facebook group where parents can connect.
His methods are widely debated in online groups, with critics pointing out that he and others like him may leave behind hundreds of legally untraceable siblings and thousands of first cousins.
Experts note that high treatment costs in the UK are driving women to seek unregulated sperm donors.
A significant issue often overlooked by adults eager to have a baby is the complex genetic history their children may have to unravel later in life. This is particularly important if they wish to avoid the risk of unknowingly entering a relationship with a close biological relative—a real danger, especially when recipient families live near each other.
In a poignant post in the Sperm Donors UK group, one woman asked about her child’s potential siblings: “How do I find out about the other babies born from his sperm? There’s no sperm bank with information since I found him here. I could message him, but I really don’t want to. Is there any other way to find other families?”
She added, “Any advice is welcome. I know there were 10 families in total, and we all conceived around the same year. I also remember him saying one woman was expecting twins.”
More than a dozen respondents gave the same answer: “You can’t.”
Frequently Asked Questions
Of course Here is a list of FAQs about the secretive realm of social media sperm donation designed to be clear direct and conversational
Beginner Definition Questions
1 What is social media sperm donation
Its when people connect through social media platforms or private groups to arrange informal sperm donations bypassing official sperm banks and clinics
2 How is this different from using a sperm bank
Sperm banks involve medical screening legal contracts and anonymity Social media donation is typically direct unregulated and often known between the donor and recipient
3 Why would someone choose this over a clinic
The main reasons are lower cost the ability to choose a known donor and for some a desire for a more personal or natural process
4 What do you mean by men being viewed as mere providers
It refers to the perception that in these arrangements some men feel their only role is to provide genetic material and their feelings future involvement or wellbeing can be overlooked
Process Practicality Questions
5 How do people usually find donors or recipients
They use dedicated Facebook groups specific apps forums or even dating apps to connect with others seeking similar arrangements
6 Is this process safe
It carries significant risks Theres no mandatory screening for sexually transmitted infections or genetic diseases and there are no legal protections in place
7 What are the common methods of donation
Methods range from natural insemination to artificial insemination using a syringe or cup at home The method is agreed upon by the parties involved
8 Can a donor just walk away afterward
Legally its very complicated Without a formal legal agreement a donor could be pursued for child support as parental rights are often determined by biology not intention
Risks Problems
9 What is the biggest legal risk
The biggest risk is the lack of legal clarity A donor can be sued for parental rights and financial support and a recipient has no guarantee the donor wont make a claim for custody
10 What are the emotional risks for everyone involved
Expectations can clash Donors might feel used recipients might feel pressured and the resulting child may have complex questions
