By now, you’ve probably noticed the trend: it seems like every celebrity and influencer is going after the same thing. We’re deep in the era of the celebrity drink.
Kim Kardashian has Update energy drinks. John and Hank Green run the Awesome Coffee Club. Blake Lively sells sparkling grapefruit juice. Even Danny DeVito—somehow perfectly cast for the role—is the face of a limoncello brand.
Why are drinks so easy to endorse? Maybe we wouldn’t trust Hulk Hogan with our dinner plans, but for a quick boost during a long workday? Sure—why not crack open a can of Hogan Energy. Drinks tend to be profitable, relatively low-risk, and a natural fit for celebrity endorsements. That’s made them one of the easiest and most popular markets for influencers and celebrities to jump into.
Now, another mega-celebrity has entered the beverage game. Or rather, beverage companies have brought him on to help spread the word about their product.
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Jesus, it turns out, has a branding problem—at least according to the makers of these drinks. Too many people simply haven’t gotten the message. “God put it on our hearts to specifically preach the gospel through an energy drink,” the creator of Yahweh says in an Instagram video defending the company against accusations that it mainly exists to make money.
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A can of Drink Yahweh’s Berry Blessed. Photograph: Yahweh
It’s worth noting that while Christ has apparently been putting energy drinks on people’s hearts lately, he hasn’t been putting it on many of their hearts to donate part of the profits to feeding the poor. The main mission here seems to be brand awareness.
Unfortunately, after trying the energy drink brand Yahweh, I don’t feel especially moved to convert. If the goal is evangelism, Blessed Berry—with its heavy, medicinal taste—might not be the best missionary. In fact, the aftertaste lingered pretty stubbornly, like Jehovah’s Witnesses still knocking at your door after you told them you’re agnostic.
If you want a better-tasting first Christian energy drink, I’d recommend Preachin’ Peach from Agape.
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Agape’s Preachin’ Peach flavor. Photograph: Agape Energy
The image of Jesus is less prominent, but the peach flavor is spot on: it tastes almost exactly like a peach lollipop. It’s not quite as aggressively peachy as a Peach Nehi, but fans of that drink would probably enjoy this. Or, you know, fans of Christ dying for our sins.
Yahweh has zero calories, while Agape has 10, and somehow those 10 calories seem to matter.
Not all Agape flavors are as divine as Preachin’ Peach, though. “It’s really good. Berry isn’t my favorite flavor, so probably not the best one to start with, but it’s kind of like Welch’s Grape but less heavy,” one Instagram reviewer said of Agape’s Blessed Berry flavor.
In later videos, though, he can be seen drinking Monster.
Each case of Agape comes with a single cardboard gift box designed so you can use the can directly for evangelism. Whether that’s evangelism for Christ or evangelism for Agape is up to you. Agape costs $40 for a 20-pack, so each 12oz can is about $3.30. That evangelism tax is a bit steep.
The real standout in flavor—if not in branding—is 4gvn (as in forgiven, what Jesus does with our sins, filtered through tech bro speak).
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Crisp Apple from 4gvn. Photograph: 4gvn
There’s no image of Jesus on the can, but the flavor Gospel Gummy tastes exactly like a gummy worm. I don’t know how they pulled that off with only the 10 calories that matter. If you told me Jesus turned water into a gummy worm-flavored energy drink, I’d have to believe you.
4gvn is far from alone in the Christian energy drink world. There’s Praise Energy, whose mascot, Zion the Lion, is a cartoon lion wearing an “I ♡ Jesus” T-shirt and high-top sneakers. Then there’s Heir Lion, whose mascot feels like it’s…It could be a cartoon lion wearing an “I ♡ Jesus” T-shirt and high-top sneakers — but, confusingly, it isn’t.
Are these brands helping spread awareness of Christianity, or are they just treating Jesus like a Mickey Mouse that no one owns the rights to?
After all, Jesus already has near-universal name recognition. So maybe the real question isn’t whether these drinks are good for Christianity, but whether Christianity is very good for selling energy drinks.
Frequently Asked Questions
Here is a list of FAQs about What would Jesus drink and the rise of Christian energy drinks written in a natural conversational tone
BeginnerLevel Questions
1 Wait Christian energy drinks Is that a real thing
Yes it is Several brands have launched energy drinks marketed specifically to Christians They often use biblical references scripture verses on the can and ingredients tied to natural or holy themes
2 Whats the big idea behind What would Jesus drink
Its a play on the popular WWJD bracelet trend The idea is that Jesus wouldnt drink an unhealthy worldly energy drink Instead these brands claim their drinks are cleaner more natural and spiritually uplifting
3 Whats actually in these drinks Is it just coffee and sugar
Most contain caffeine B vitamins and natural flavors They avoid artificial dyes highfructose corn syrup and sinful ingredients Some use holy ingredients like monk fruit or dates for sweetness
4 Are they supposed to replace communion wine or something
No not at all They are just a beverage for daily energy like a soda or coffee The branding is meant to align with your faith not replace any sacrament
5 Do they taste any different from Monster or Red Bull
Generally they are less sweet and have a more natural taste Youll find flavors like Living Water Heavenly Honey or Pomegranate Paradise Theyre usually less syrupy than mainstream energy drinks
Intermediate Advanced Questions
6 Is this just a marketing gimmick or is there a real health benefit
Its a mix The marketing is definitely targeting a specific faithbased demographic However the health benefit is often real in comparison to other energy drinks They usually have less sugar no artificial junk and use cleaner caffeine sources But they still contain caffeine and can be overconsumed
7 Ive seen one called Revelation Energy Is that the most popular brand
Revelation Energy is one of the biggest but others like
