Reading the excerpt from Virginia Giuffre’s heartbreaking memoir in the Guardian this week, I was once again struck by the fates of those in that notorious photo taken at Ghislaine Maxwell’s London home.
The teenage girl at the center of the picture is dead, having taken her own life earlier this year at a remote Australian farmhouse, unable to escape her trauma. The photographer is also dead, having died by suicide in a New York jail while awaiting trial on sex trafficking charges. The smiling woman in the background is now in prison herself, praising Donald Trump’s supposed purity in hopes of a transfer to a better facility or even a pardon. And the grinning man with his arm around the teenage girl—who denies having sex with her later that night—lives in a 30-room mansion on a 98-acre estate (reportedly funded by mysterious means even his royal brother can’t explain), cracking jokes at family funerals, and simply weathering each new exposure of his lies. That’s the royal privilege for you. Don’t call it a doghouse—it’s a dog palace.
Remarkably, as I was writing that paragraph, news broke revealing Andrew met with the high-ranking Chinese Communist Party official at the heart of the collapsed Beijing spy case at least three times. Keep in mind, the duke is already under scrutiny for unknowingly hiring an alleged spy as his representative in China. Is there any controversy he doesn’t stumble into? He’s like the Forrest Gump of terrible choices.
Once again, we’re at the point where royal commentators must speculate about what can be done about the ongoing disaster that is the Duke of York—the potential sanctions the monarchy might still impose. Wait, Andrew could lose his invitation to the annual Order of the Garter lunch? OH NO, NOT A DELUNCHING! Or perhaps he’ll be barred from serving as a counsellor of state, one of the royals over 21 who could stand in for the king if needed—a group that currently includes Camilla, Princess Anne, William, Harry, Andrew, Prince Edward, and Princess Beatrice? (What a sitcom that would make—I’d definitely watch.) But again: OH NO, NOT A DECOUNSELLORING!
These punishments are so ridiculous they seem like intentional satire of the monarchy itself. And maybe they should be. We should be honest about what “loving the royal family” really means, philosophically speaking.
But we’ll come back to that, as there are more of Andrew’s denials and non-denials to address. We know the Duke remained friends with Jeffrey Epstein after he was imprisoned for soliciting a minor. We know Andrew flew to New York after Epstein’s release to spend time with this top-level sex offender. We know everyone was aware of Epstein’s status because when they were photographed together in Central Park, the New York Post ran a front-page headline even Andrew could grasp: “PRINCE & PERV.” We know it took years and Epstein’s tragic suicide before Andrew gave an interview claiming that photo (and his four-day stay) was the last contact he ever had with the man.
And now we know he’s still lying about it, after an email from Andrew to Epstein surfaced, dated well after that event and coinciding with the publication of the photo with Giuffre. “I’m just as concerned for you!” Andrew wrote. “Don’t worry about me! It seems we’re in this together”—well, you said it—”and will have to rise above it.” Well… you didn’t. “Otherwise keep in close touch,” Andy concluded, “and we’ll play some more soon!!!!” It was signed “A, HRH The Duke of York, KG.” Surely the world’s most cringe-worthy…Even the most elaborate email signatures, including those “Founder/Futurist/Father” types on LinkedIn, don’t compare to this.
But today, let’s conclude by tackling the big philosophical question: if you’re going to have a royal family and believe they’re unique and set apart, then surely you have to accept them as they are? After all, it’s intentionally the opposite of a meritocracy. If you start applying corporate-style ideas about hiring and firing, you reduce it to just another small business—and who cares about that? Britain is full of small businesses, despite the chancellor’s efforts, and the royal family must remain something distinct and extraordinary. Besides, business is the one area where we all know the insulated royals have no real expertise. This “slimmed-down Firm” we keep hearing about from Charles and William’s advisors honestly sounds like a task from week four of The Apprentice.
Could Andrew be sent away in a black cab with his rolling suitcase to tell the cameras that King Sugar made a huge mistake by letting him go? For the monarchy’s practical and philosophical integrity, it’s far from clear that he can. Yet, it’s very clear that there could be all sorts of embarrassing revelations emerging in various areas—many known unknowns and even more unknown unknowns. It’s quite a dilemma for Charles and William. However justified it might be, I suspect part of them fears that kicking Andrew out could set a slippery slope in motion, leading to the collapse of the entire institution.
Marina Hyde is a Guardian columnist.
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Frequently Asked Questions
Of course Here is a list of FAQs about the topic inspired by Marina Hydes column on Prince Andrew written in a clear and natural tone
General BeginnerLevel Questions
1 Who is Prince Andrew and why is he in the news
Prince Andrew is the third child of the late Queen Elizabeth II He was in the news primarily due to his association with convicted sex offender Jeffrey Epstein and a civil lawsuit for sexual assault filed against him by Virginia Giuffre
2 What does Punish Prince Andrew mean
It refers to the public and institutional consequences he has faced for his association with Jeffrey Epstein and the sexual assault allegations as he is a member of the royal family who was previously expected to uphold high standards
3 What does this isnt a meritocracy mean in this context
It means that Prince Andrews position and privilege werent earned through talent or hard work but were inherited by birth We the public dont get to vote for or against the royal family we are stuck with them
4 What ultimately happened with the lawsuit against him
Prince Andrew settled the civil lawsuit with Virginia Giuffre out of court in February 2022 He did not admit guilt but paid a substantial financial settlement to her and to a charity supporting victims rights
5 What has been his punishment so far
His major punishments have been social and institutional He was stripped of his military affiliations and royal patronages and can no longer use the style His Royal Highness in any official capacity He has also been effectively removed from public life
Advanced Deeper Questions
6 If he settled and didnt admit guilt why is he still being treated as guilty by the public
The settlement combined with his widely criticized BBC interview about the allegations created a powerful perception of guilt in the court of public opinion even without a formal legal finding His association with Epstein was seen as a catastrophic failure of judgment
7 What is the connection between this case and the idea of monarchy
The case highlights a core criticism of the monarchy that it grants immense privilege wealth and status to individuals regardless of their personal conduct or merit creating a system that can shield them from the consequences ordinary people would face
