On a video call from his apartment in Gothenburg, Jens Lekman reflects on the 132 weddings where he has performed. “At a regular concert, everything runs on a schedule,” he says. “But at a wedding, you never know—you might get punched by someone’s uncle or end up skinny dipping with the couple.” He pauses. “And that’s what I enjoy: putting myself in strange, awkward situations.”
Some of those situations include passing out inside a large, poorly ventilated wedding cake. “It was a small, DIY wedding,” he recalls. “Not fun when I realized they’d forgotten the air holes.” Or the time a man nearly died on the dance floor. “Yeah, that happened too. But he pulled through.”
You might know Lekman as the Swedish indie artist whose melancholy love songs can break your heart and make you laugh at the same time. What you might not know is that ever since his 2004 song “If You Ever Need a Stranger (To Sing at Your Wedding),” he’s been accepting requests to do just that. At first, he says, “it was just random people who had heard the song.” But after an Australian couple shared a video of him performing at their wedding in 2013, the requests poured in. “I owe them a lot of gratitude,” he adds.
Looking back, he seems made for the role. Since the early 2000s, Lekman has built a career on wry, tender observations about love and heartbreak. He titled his 2012 album I Know What Love Isn’t, and on 2017’s “To Know Your Mission,” he sings about wanting to listen to people’s stories. The weddings, he says, have only deepened that purpose: “I want to be of service to the people the music means something to.”
With streaming making it harder to earn a living from music, performing at weddings also became a financial necessity—and a source of inspiration for his songwriting. Lekman tells a story about filmmaker John Waters, who was once picked up hitchhiking in the Nevada desert. “What the hell are you doing out here?” the driver asked. Waters replied that it helped spark ideas. “That’s what the weddings are for me,” Lekman says with a smile.
His new album is called Songs for Other People’s Weddings, and it comes with a novel of the same name, co-written with David Levithan, author of books like Nick and Norah’s Infinite Playlist. The two have been friends for 20 years. Just before the pandemic, Lekman reached out with the idea of exploring his “parallel career as a wedding singer,” wondering if it could become a TV show or musical.
Levithan was immediately on board. “The situation was so tantalizing,” he says on the same call. “Writing about weddings from the singer’s perspective—I never would have thought of that in a million years.”
The result is a “novel-with-songs” born from what Lekman describes as “a dialogue between me and David about love and relationships.” It tells the story of a wedding singer named J and his girlfriend V through 10 weddings where he performs. Lekman’s album imagines what happens between the book’s chapters, inspired by concept albums like The Streets’ A Grand Don’t Come for Free and Frank Sinatra’s Watertown.
As Levithan puts it, the story is “purely fictional but emotionally very much both of ours.” Given that it centers on a Swedish wedding singer, the line between art and life is blurred. “I love the confusion—and I don’t think there’s any way around it,” Lekman says. They did, however, change the main character’s name to J: “In the first chapter, I wr—””Note, he was named Jens and that was too confusing,” says Levithan.
Part of the charm in Lekman’s storytelling is wondering how autobiographical his hapless, hopeless romantic characters truly are. Levithan describes his book Songs for Other People’s Weddings to friends as: “I’m writing somebody else’s autofiction.” Lekman, on the other hand, calls it “definitely David’s story,” though he admits Levithan “asked me for anecdotes—like what it’s like to jump out of a wedding cake.”
Lekman also channeled his own breakup at the time into songs like “Wedding in Leipzig,” with its darkly humorous lines: “So this is the singles table, these are my people / Does anyone have cyanide, a razor blade or a pistol?” He says the track “is about what it means to be alone. I’m 44 now, so that’s definitely something I thought a lot about back then.”
Processing these emotions through songwriting led him to reflect on his lifelong connection to music. “I realized David was putting into words something I hadn’t yet articulated for myself,” Lekman explains. “I was at a stage in my life where I was searching for purpose. In the age of streaming, music has become like a scented candle—pleasant but background. Singing at weddings reversed that for me. I started doing it because it seemed fun and quirky, but then I understood: these are the most important moments in people’s lives. You’re not the main event; you’re more like a midwife, helping usher them into the next chapter. That sense of connection was what I’d been looking for.”
One couple he “delivered” was Rich Thane and his wife, Grace Goddard, both music industry professionals. “We’ve been huge fans for as long as we can remember,” says Thane, so having Lekman perform felt “both completely surreal and totally natural.” Watching him play, he recalls, “was a mix of our friends freaking out and family members who had no idea who he was but were visibly delighted. The whole room shared this collective joy.”
That shared joy captures Lekman’s sense of purpose. Still, he’s often surprised when couples request songs that don’t seem traditionally wedding-appropriate, like the sad breakup tune “Maple Leaves.” “They tell me they don’t just want happy, lovey-dovey songs—they want ones that acknowledge the other side of love. And I think they’re onto something.”
As a wedding singer, Lekman has performed at all kinds of ceremonies. “It’s always fun to play for a billionaire’s wedding, with horses and fireworks,” he says. “But I’m always deeply moved by the simple ones—like, ‘Meet us on this hill that means something to us,’ with just a small gathering and a beautiful, intimate ceremony.”
In the novel’s dedication, Lekman expresses hope that his presence at these events “turned out to be a blessing and not a curse.” The music video for the album’s lead single, “Candy from a Stranger,” includes footage from his various wedding gigs. “I reached out to a lot of the couples. Sure, some have divorced—it’s been a while,” he notes. “But percentage-wise, it seems to have been a blessing.”
The album Songs for Other People’s Weddings is out via Secretly Canadian on September 12. The novel, by David Levithan and Jens Lekman (Abrams, £21), is available now. To support the Guardian, order your copy for £18.90 at guardianbookshop.com. Delivery charges may apply.
Frequently Asked Questions
Of course Here is a list of FAQs about Jens Lekman performing at his fans weddings based on the quote Youre either getting punched or going skinny dipping
General Beginner Questions
Q Who is Jens Lekman
A Hes a Swedish indie pop singersongwriter known for his witty narrative lyrics and lush musical arrangements
Q What does Youre either getting punched or going skinny dipping mean
A Its Jens Lekmans humorous way of describing the highrisk highreward nature of performing at a fans wedding The performance could either be a beautiful intimate moment or a complete disaster that causes a fight
Q Did he really perform at 132 weddings
A Yes over the course of several years he accepted invitations from fans and performed at their wedding ceremonies or receptions
Q Why would he do this
A He saw it as a unique way to connect with his fans on the most important day of their lives creating a personal and unforgettable experience that goes beyond a typical concert
The Process Logistics
Q How did fans ask him to perform at their wedding
A Initially he would get requests via email or after shows He later set up a more formal system on his website for couples to apply
Q Did he charge for performing
A Typically no He generally did it for free as a gift to his fans though couples were expected to cover his travel and accommodation expenses
Q What songs would he usually play
A He often played his own songs that were fitting for a wedding like Black Cab A Postcard to Nina or Waiting for Kirsten He also learned and performed songs requested by the couple
Q Did he attend the whole wedding or just perform
A It varied Sometimes he would just perform his set and leave and other times he would stay celebrate and even give a speech
Deeper Advanced Questions
Q Whats the story behind the getting punched part of the quote
A It refers to the real risk of the performance not fitting the vibe of the event For example a guest who doesnt know his music might be offended or confused potentially leading to tension or even a physical altercation
