What makes a stranger push a woman in public? That’s what I’ve been wondering this week, after a man shoved me out of his way on an empty street. I didn’t see him coming—he approached from behind.
He snapped that I was in his path. “What path?” I thought, confused, looking at the wide, empty sidewalk around us. I was so stunned I just stood there, watching him walk away in his blue jacket and backpack. He could have been any man, on his way to work anywhere.
Many have endured far worse street harassment. But what unsettled me most was that this was the third similar incident in three months. In December, a man on the tube escalator yelled at me for walking “too slowly.” Last week, while looking into a restaurant window, I bumped head-first into a man coming toward me. The sidewalk was empty and four meters wide. I asked why he hadn’t moved. He said I should have been watching where I was going.
Maybe I’m an especially slow walker, and this is just about how unaware we’ve become in public. Who doesn’t get annoyed by other people, especially oblivious ones? “Am I oblivious?” I asked my husband. “No,” he said, “but so what if you were?” He was right. Why is my instinct to apologize or step aside when someone bumps into me? Why did these three men feel entitled to shout, walk into me, or push me?
When I talked to other women about this, many shared similar stories. A colleague described an almost identical situation: a man barged past her from behind on an empty street—though she had the nerve to chase after him, furious. Another colleague no longer runs outside after a man tried to hit her with his truck. Another was told to “shut the fuck up” for talking too loudly in a pub with friends.
Black and brown friends describe facing casual racism on a level they’ve never experienced before. A tall friend says she’s yelled at constantly. A petite friend says she was harassed more this summer than ever in her life. An older friend had a man scream “CUNT” in her face.
I’d bet almost every woman reading this has had a similar experience—of men wanting to teach them a lesson: that sharing public space isn’t a man’s responsibility, but a woman’s.
Somewhere along the line, the handbrake has been released. Feelings once kept in check now seem to spill over. After each encounter, I was left with a lingering unease that felt bigger than the event itself—a deep sense that something sinister had happened. What do these men really think of women, if this is what they say out loud? How do they treat the women in their own lives, if they’re angry enough to shove a woman on a Friday morning?
“Don’t let that jerk ruin your day,” a woman told me afterward. She appeared—it’s always a woman—like an angel, offering support. But it did ruin my day. I walked around feeling heavy, wondering how anyone could act that way, how he could so completely break the unspoken rules we live by.
Now, when I go out alone on a weekday morning, I brace myself. I feel the threat of violence simmering just beneath the surface. I carry suspicion with me. And I wonder what my next encounter with a stranger will bring.
Frequently Asked Questions
FAQs Being Pushed on the Street as a Lesson
BeginnerLevel Questions
What does it mean when someone says they pushed you to teach you a lesson
It means they used physical force as a form of punishment or correction for something they believed you did wrong without your consent
Is it ever acceptable for a stranger to push you on the street
No it is not acceptable Physical assault is illegal and morally wrong regardless of the strangers perceived reason or lesson
Was that assault
Yes an unconsented push or any unwanted physical contact can legally be considered assault or battery depending on local laws
What should I do immediately if this happens
First ensure your immediate safety If you feel threatened create distance go to a public place or call for help Its important to assess if youre injured
Should I report this to the police
Yes you have the right to report it This creates a record of the incident which is important for your safety and potentially for others
Could I have done something to provoke this
Even if someone was upset by your actions their choice to respond with physical violence is their responsibility not yours Verbal issues do not justify physical assault
Advanced Practical Questions
What are the potential legal consequences for the person who pushed me
They could face charges like assault disorderly conduct or battery which may result in fines community service or even jail time especially if there was injury or prior offenses
How can I prove this happened if there were no witnesses
You can still report it Your testimony is evidence Note the exact time location and a description of the person Check if any nearby buildings or traffic cameras might have captured the incident
What if the person claims I was in their way or being disrespectful
In the eyes of the law being in the way or disrespectful is not a legal defense for physical assault People are expected to use words or simply walk away
This has left me feeling anxious about going outside Is that normal
Yes its a common and valid reaction Experiencing a sudden violent act can cause feelings of vulnerability anxiety or hypervigilance
