In 2022, I was living in a flat above a chicken shop in north London with two flatmates and a cockroach infestation. Our landlord shrugged it off, saying, “What did you expect, living above a takeaway?” One of my flatmates was from Lithuania and was due to go home in January, while his girlfriend, our other flatmate, was away for Christmas. I had visited Canada the month before, so on Christmas Day, it was just the two of us.
I bought a small chicken to roast and served it with stuffing I’d brought back from Canada—similar to the UK version but fluffier and with more texture—along with some pasta. I also made Brussels sprouts, trying to recreate a dish from a restaurant in my hometown by cooking them with bacon, maple syrup, parmesan, and a drizzle of mayonnaise. It didn’t turn out very well. We drank some prosecco my flatmate had won in a competition, even though neither of us really liked it. It felt like the thing to do because it was Christmas.
Since we didn’t have a living room, my flatmate set up a projector in his bedroom. We sat on desk chairs, balancing our odd Christmas lunch on our laps, and watched a film I’d always wanted to see: Tiptoes. In it, Gary Oldman plays a man with dwarfism, while Matthew McConaughey plays his average-sized twin brother (who is obviously much younger in real life). McConaughey’s character has kept his entire family—all of whom have dwarfism—a secret from his pregnant girlfriend, played by Kate Beckinsale. The film was meant to be a comedy or a dramedy, but the premise was still uncomfortable.
Tiptoes had fascinated me and my best friend back home for years. We’d never actually seen it, but we talked about it often and watched countless YouTube reviews. We even collected strange facts about the movie, like Beckinsale only agreeing to be in it if she could wear her “lucky hat” during filming—a black-and-white striped hat that looks a bit like a Santa hat. Having now seen the film, I can confirm it looks as odd as it sounds.
Although the film includes roles for actors with dwarfism, such as Peter Dinklage, the main character is played by Oldman, who mostly walks on his knees with his shoes attached. In one scene where he’s sitting on a sofa, it’s obvious the rest of his body is hidden inside it. The film isn’t even that old—it was released in 2003—which makes its insensitivity even more jarring. My overwhelming thought was: how did this get made?
There’s supposedly a more artistic director’s cut out there, which is interesting because the released version is comically bad: poorly written with dialogue that feels deranged.
I felt guilty watching it without my best friend, and when I later confessed, she was furious. But I think if we had watched a traditional Christmas film, it might have made us sad about not being with our families. A weird film, weird food, and a weird Christmas Day felt just right.
Frequently Asked Questions
Of course Here is a list of FAQs about the experience described in My weirdest Christmas I sat in a desk chair watching the strangest movie Ive ever seen
General Beginner Questions
Q What is this story about
A Its a personal anecdote about someone spending a Christmas in an unusual solitary waysitting in a desk chair and watching a movie they found incredibly strange
Q Why is this a weird Christmas
A Because Christmas is typically associated with family tradition and cheer This story contrasts that by describing an isolated mundane setting and an unsettling experience
Q What kind of movie were they watching
A The story doesnt specify which is part of the intrigue It was strange enough to be memorable likely something surreal avantgarde or deeply confusing
Q Were they alone
A The phrasing I sat strongly implies they were alone which adds to the unusual and introspective nature of the Christmas experience
Advanced Analytical Questions
Q Whats the deeper meaning or appeal of this story
A It resonates because it highlights a nontraditional authentic personal moment It finds significance in quiet alienation and the odd beauty of a failed holiday which many people experience but rarely share
Q Is the desk chair detail important
A Yes crucially A desk chair suggests work isolation or a temporary setupnot relaxation It emphasizes a sense of dislocation and an unChristmasy environment
Q Could this be considered a review of the movie
A Not directly Its more a review of an experience The movies quality is less important than its effect on the narrators holiday making it a story about mood and memory
Q What genres might the strangest movie belong to
A Likely genres known for surrealism or psychological discomfort such as avantgarde cinema body horror psychedelic film or a deeply ambiguous arthouse film
Practical Common Problems
Q Ive had a holiday like this How can I write about it
A Focus on specific concrete details and how they made you feel Contrast the expected holiday cheer
