Just before Saturday’s match, Tyrhys Dolan will look at a photo on his phone of his best friend Jeremy Wisten—the person he would give anything for. He’ll touch the number 24 on his shirt, chosen to honor the day Jeremy died at age 18. Then he’ll walk out onto the pitch, where everything comes together and everything fades away. “I feel nervous before every game,” Dolan says, “but when I walk through the tunnel, it all falls away. The hard work, the sacrifices—this is it. Now I’m free. There’s responsibility, but it feels like being on the playground again.”
Some playground. This isn’t the Dales Estate in Salford. This time, it’s the Santiago Bernabéu. “These are the stadiums every kid dreams of, but it’s not even for me. I’m pretty selfless,” Dolan explains. “I get satisfaction from other people’s joy. It’s a moment for everyone around me—friends and family—to be there, to see these places and say, ‘Remember when he was just playing in the park?’ To look back and think, ‘We’ve been through so much, and now we’re here.'”
The third of seven siblings, born in Manchester and signed by Espanyol in July, Dolan sits at their training ground in the Barcelona sun, speaking thoughtfully about his journey, the pressure, loss, love, and friendship. He remembers joining Manchester City at seven and being let go soon after for being too small. He thinks about Burnley and City again, rejoining at 13 only to be released a second time. He recalls Preston, non-League Clitheroe, all the kids he played with, and especially Jeremy.
Now he’s in Spain. He’s come a long way the hard way, deeply aware of those he wishes were with him and grateful for those who are. “You can’t imagine how tough it is,” Dolan says. “I was lucky, but 99% aren’t. It’s scary; I wonder what I would have done if I hadn’t made it, and I honestly don’t know. You’re labeled as a footballer. When that’s taken away, you think, ‘Who am I?’ I remember taking ‘Man City’ out of my Instagram bio. You feel like you’ve lost your identity, and without that, the world is a frightening place. I was fortunate to have a supportive family. Some people have no one, constantly fighting their own thoughts.”
Football doesn’t do enough for those who don’t make it, which is almost everyone. In October 2020, two weeks after his birthday, Wisten was found dead in his bedroom. The coroner concluded the teenager had taken his own life. Released by City after a knee injury, Wisten struggled to find a new club. Dolan was shattered, losing his best friend. He was a pallbearer at the funeral and wrote and read a poem during the service. As an ambassador for the mental health charity Go Again, he takes calls, offers support, and shares perspective.
“It shouldn’t take losing someone to see that football needs to act,” he says. “Jeremy came to Preston but didn’t get the scholarship. At the time he was released, a lot of his friends, including me, were succeeding. I don’t know the reason, and I don’t want to blame football, but it must have been so hard for him. You see your friends playing and think, ‘Who am I? Now that I’m not a footballer, what am I?'”
“Football is a highlights reel. I’m not posting a picture on Instagram when I don’t look my best; I post when I’m fresh. People think, ‘Oh, he’s blessed,’ that football solves everything. They don’t know what’s behind it. There are more dark days than bright ones.”In light of my experiences, I try to help young players understand the journey.
Even after I signed my first professional contract with Blackburn in 2020—following three months without a team—there were still moments of tears. At times, I admit, you wonder where the joy is in it all. That is, until you step into the tunnel and onto the pitch. “After the rain, the sun comes out. You wouldn’t appreciate the sun without the rain.” There’s a moment of quiet reflection. “Sometimes you get survivor’s guilt. My friends were at Manchester City. Now they go to every game and get such a buzz from it. They tell me, ‘We’re living the dream through you, Ty.’ It’s bittersweet because you’ve worked so hard to get here, and you just wish everyone could be with you. Maybe the way I am stems from losing Jeremy.”
“We’re not macho guys, and they always support me—they would even if I were on the other side of the world. When Espanyol called, they said, ‘Get your bags packed. We’ll miss you, but snap your fingers—if you need us, we’re there.’ I really needed that. There was just one thing holding me back: Jeremy’s gravesite. I visit every Sunday. I felt like I was leaving him behind. He would have told me himself to get on the plane and go—this is La Liga, after all. But I kept thinking, ‘Who’s going to take flowers? Who’s going to visit?’ My friends reassured me, ‘We’ll cover that. We’ll clean the headstone and bring flowers.’ That brought me to tears. I’m 23, still young, but I needed to take this step. Espanyol was a no-brainer. I don’t know how many players have made that jump from the Championship.”
There’s a smile. “To be truly honest, that first week of training, I thought, ‘Pfff, this is…'” Dolan laughs. “I didn’t tell anyone because I didn’t want them to worry, but I wondered, ‘Am I up to this?’ Genuinely. The standard was unbelievable. But I love that. It’s a wake-up call: you wanted this, so raise your game.”
Coming on as a substitute against Atlético Madrid, Dolan helped Espanyol to a comeback victory on the opening weekend of the season. Since becoming a starter, he set up the winner against Osasuna with a clever flick and provided an assist against Mallorca. Espanyol are in third place—their best start in 30 years. Fans are calling him Dolandinho or Maradolan. No wonder he’s over the moon.
“It’s crazy. I knew what I could do, but this quickly?” Dolan says. “Against Osasuna, I was nervous in the first half. I couldn’t explain it. At halftime, I thought, ‘I might be subbed off here,’ but the manager told me—well, he had it translated—’Just be yourself.’ I thought, ‘He’s right.’ I did that little trick, we scored, and everyone was buzzing. That’s a liberation.”
“I suit this style of football. I like to express myself, and here they embrace it. You see it in the nicknames and the clips. I was telling my dad about that feeling when you get the ball and hear the ‘dmm-dmm-dmm-dmm-dmm’ of seats flipping up, and you feel the anticipation. People spend their money and time; it’s only right that I give them something in return. I don’t want to just do a bunch of flashy skills with no end product.”I don’t want to add anything, but I do want to put on a show. I want people to enjoy watching Espanyol and to feel that when I get the ball, something exciting can happen. After the Osasuna match, I was sitting on the balcony with my mum and dad, looking back at videos and talking. I wished that moment could last forever. But football never stops—it just keeps moving forward.
And now, here we are at the Bernabéu, another place to play. I’m still the same person I was in the park, the kid my dad made run up hills until I couldn’t breathe. I’d go home crying, and my mum would give me a hug. When I think about everything I’ve been through—all the miles my dad drove, all the tears my mum wiped away—it reminds me how emotional this game is. We’ve had an incredible journey, my family and all my friends. The players only got two tickets each, so my mates are sitting in the Madrid section. It’s fine, they’re not troublemakers. This is for them.
It’s also for Jeremy. I told my mum, “I want my next shirt to be for him.” He was born on the ninth of October, and you can’t get the number 9. When we got to Espanyol, they said numbers 16 and 24 were available. The 24th is the day he passed away, and my mum’s eyes filled up. It felt like he was with us. Out of all the numbers we could have gotten, we got the one we needed.
He’s always here. I feel him with me, like I’m living this for him too. Would I trade my whole career to have Jeremy back? Absolutely. I give everything to football, but some things are bigger. I try to enjoy the journey, and if I can reach the top, that’s Jeremy’s dream and all my friends’ dreams. That’s probably why I work as hard as I do. It’s a responsibility because so many people genuinely want me to succeed, and there’s always that pressure of “What if I don’t?”
I’ve come to Spain, and I love it. Now let’s see where it takes me. I’m sure he’s proud. He’s definitely looking down, excited, and he gets to visit some amazing stadiums.
Frequently Asked Questions
Of course Here is a list of FAQs about Tyrhys Dolan and his tribute to Jeremy written in a natural conversational tone
About the Phrase Jeremy
Q What does Maybe I am the way I am because I lost Jeremy mean
A Its a tattoo and a deeply personal motto for footballer Tyrhys Dolan It means that the tragic loss of his best friend Jeremy Wisten at a young age profoundly shaped his perspective his drive and his approach to life and football
Q Who was Jeremy
A Jeremy Wisten was Tyrhys Dolans childhood best friend and a talented young footballer in Manchester Citys academy He sadly passed away in 2020 at the age of 18
Q How did Jeremy Wisten pass away
A The exact cause hasnt been publicly detailed by the family but it was a sudden and tragic event that shocked his community and the football world
About Tyrhys Dolan
Q Who is Tyrhys Dolan
A He is a professional English footballer who currently plays as a winger for the Spanish club RCD Espanyol He is known for his incredible pace skill and positive energy on the pitch
Q Why is an English player at Espanyol considered surprising
A Its less common for young English players to move abroad to leagues like Spains La Liga especially outside the very top clubs Most tend to stay in the English football system so his move was a bold and noteworthy step
Q Which teams did he play for before Espanyol
A He came through the youth systems at Manchester City and Preston North End He made his name as a firstteam star at Blackburn Rovers before his transfer to Espanyol
Q What position does he play
A He primarily plays as a right winger using his speed to take on defenders and create scoring chances
The Tattoo Its Significance
Q Where is the Maybe I am the way I am tattoo
A It is tattooed in large script across his upper back and shoulders
Q Why did he get that specific phrase tattooed
A Its a permanent tribute to keep Jeremys memory alive and to serve as a constant reminder of the fragility of life It
