Here’s a quirky story for you: A 51-year-old woman in the German town of Spaichingen is under criminal investigation for allegedly stealing water from her neighbor’s rain barrel—using watering cans to swipe an estimated €0.15 worth of water.
It’s delightfully absurd. Reports say she hid behind a trash bin to avoid being seen, and the police, with solemn authority, declared: “Once it’s in the barrel, the water no longer belongs to the heavens.” What drove her to this petty crime? Midlife mischief? A grudge? Or just extreme thriftiness—water is metered in Germany, and Swabian housewives are famously frugal.
Extreme penny-pinching can be amusing—not the kind born of financial struggle (which is anything but funny, especially with reports of “Dickensian levels” of child poverty in the UK), but the voluntary, almost theatrical kind. Think reusing teabags, counting squares of toilet paper—the sort of behavior that lands people on shows like Extreme Cheapskates.
Speaking of which, I skimmed the American version while pondering this German water heist, and some of these people take frugality to astonishing levels. One woman flosses with her own hair (how strong is it?), another—a millionaire, no less—pees in jars to save on water bills, and a man washes dishes and heats soup in his hot tub.
Some “cheapskate” habits, though, seem perfectly sensible. Using roadkill fur? Practical—it’s already dead. Reusing bathwater or freezing jeans instead of washing them? Fair enough. I’ve grown fonder of small frugalities myself, though inconsistently: I’ll save a leftover potato half like a sacred relic but splurge on a £4 store-bought cake I could bake for pennies. I hoard plastic bags (microplastics be damned), reuse teabags (mostly chamomile—it barely tastes like anything anyway), and yes, I’ve even reused my husband’s bathwater.
Does that sound gross? Maybe, maybe not. There’s a spectrum, from reckless extravagance to cooking lasagna in a dishwasher (another Extreme Cheapskates gem), and most of us fall somewhere in between. Those who choose extreme frugality—measuring life in stolen coffee spoons—are often seen as comical, odd, or a bit pitiful.
We’ve absorbed the idea that lavishness equals living fully—“Use the good bath oil!” as Nora Ephron said (though I’ll probably die with mine untouched, smugly unspent). But isn’t the opposite true? Aren’t the real oddballs the ones throwing yacht parties or sending Katy Perry to space? Savoring every drop and crumb can be life-affirming—even life-sustaining, in a broader sense.
We’re not facing horrors like Gaza, but UK farmers are warning of poor harvests and livestock feed shortages this summer, and a grim French report just detailed how extreme heat killed 750,000 chickens. So maybe a little thrift isn’t so silly after all.The summer of 2023 saw some intense heatwaves, but this year is expected to be even worse. Stealing your neighbor’s water isn’t just wrong—it’s downright apocalyptic—and I’m certainly not on board with “hair flossing” (not that I have any hair to floss, anyway). But as natural resources grow scarcer, adopting a “scarcity mindset” starts to seem more reasonable. In the end, the most frugal among us might just have the upper hand.
Emma Beddington is a Guardian columnist.
FAQS
### FAQs About German Police Investigating the Theft of a 15-Cent Water Container
#### **Basic Questions**
**1. Why are German police investigating the theft of a 15-cent water container?**
Even small thefts are considered crimes under German law, and police are obligated to investigate reported offenses, regardless of the item’s value.
**2. Is it really worth the police’s time to investigate such a small theft?**
While it may seem minor, police follow legal procedures for all reported crimes to ensure fairness and deter petty theft.
**3. What law applies to stealing a low-value item like this?**
Under Germany’s **§ 242 StGB**, stealing any property, regardless of value, is punishable by law.
**4. Could the thief face serious consequences for such a small theft?**
Penalties are usually minor, but repeat offenders or aggravating circumstances could lead to harsher punishment.
#### **Advanced Questions**
**5. Why wouldn’t police just ignore such a trivial case?**
Ignoring small crimes could encourage more theft and undermine public trust in law enforcement. Consistent enforcement maintains order.
**6. Could the store or victim drop the charges to avoid wasting resources?**
In Germany, theft is a **”non-compoundable offense”**—meaning the state prosecutes it even if the victim doesn’t press charges.
**7. How do German courts determine punishment for minor theft?**
Judges consider intent, circumstances, and prior record. A 15-cent theft would likely result in a fine or dismissal if it’s a first-time offense.
**8. Are there any exceptions where police wouldn’t investigate?**
If evidence is lacking or the cost of investigation outweighs the offense, police may prioritize more serious crimes—but they still must document the report.
#### **Practical Concerns**
**9. Should I report a theft if the stolen item is worth almost nothing?**
Yes, because failing to report it could encourage repeat offenses. However, police may handle it with lower priority.
**10. Could this lead to jail time?**
Extremely unlikely for a first-time, low-value theft—fines or community service are more common.
