If soldiers were sent to your city, would you rather they point a rifle in your face or mow your lawn? It’s not a question I ever thought I’d have to ask, but life is full of surprises. As part of Donald Trump’s military deployment to address what he calls Washington DC’s “crime emergency,” National Guard troops are being assigned to do yard work around the capital. They’re spreading mulch around cherry trees, picking up trash, and maintaining public spaces. Maybe the president was too embarrassed to call Four Seasons Total Landscaping again, so he sent the military instead.
It’s a real “swords into plowshares” moment—or in this case, “M4 rifles into trash grabbers.” It’s almost sweet, if you ignore all context and just picture a part-time soldier trimming your hedges. The National Guard is actually trained for sanitation and groundskeeping, but they’re usually called in during crises like natural disasters or the peak of the Covid pandemic. Except there’s no disaster here—no deadly virus, no wildfires, no floods. The only crisis is one we made ourselves.
Normally, it’s the National Park Service’s job to keep DC looking nice, but after recent cuts by the Trump administration, the number of park employees in the city dropped from 200 to just 20, according to the Washington Post. Still, the Guard wasn’t sent to pick up cigarette butts. This is happening because of alleged rampant crime, even though violent crime in DC was down about 20% compared to previous years before the deployment. Some estimates put the cost at around $1 million a day. I’d happily rake your leaves for half that.
The troops assigned to cleanup duty aren’t armed and might prefer picking up trash over more aggressive operations. Good for them, honestly. This is the best version of a bad situation, but it could be even better. Why stop at parks? With $1 million a day of taxpayer money, they could do so much more.
Sure, I like going to the park or hanging out in public squares, but you know where I really spend most of my time? At home. On my couch. Watching TV. I’d throw in an extra $50 if the National Guard would organize my fridge. I can never keep track of what’s in there, and things always go bad. I’d easily save that $50 just by not having to throw out wilted spinach every week.
How about car repairs? My passenger door has a small dent. Grab a hammer and pop it out. I also need to call my mom. She’s in her late 70s and seems pretty lonely. Maybe someone from the Guard could stop by and check on her for me—just put a finger under her nose to make sure she’s still breathing. I make a great spaghetti bolognese from a Stanley Tucci recipe. The Guard should come over and have some. I always make too much, and then I forget the leftovers because… well, I can’t organize my fridge.
You might say these are things I should be doing myself. And yeah, I can’t deny that calling my mom is my job. But is that really so different from sending the Guard into a city to do what a well-funded police department is already doing every day? How is it different from firing most of the park service and then paying someone else to do their work? And until my specific needs are met, how can we, as a nation, ever truly be free?Someone has to call my mother, and it doesn’t look like there are any volunteers. As a taxpayer, I’ve already paid for this service. The National Guard has shown up in my hometown of Los Angeles, Washington D.C., and maybe other places soon—all without asking me or any other actual residents. If I’m going to be stuck with an unwanted houseguest who costs me millions every day they’re here, the least they could do is pull their weight.
My mom would really appreciate it.
Dave Schilling is a writer and humorist based in Los Angeles.
Frequently Asked Questions
Of course Here is a list of helpful FAQs about soldiers doing landscaping in DC parks written in a clear and natural tone
Frequently Asked Questions
Q Why are soldiers doing landscaping work in DC parks
A This is often part of a training or community relations program It allows soldiers to practice skills like teamwork and project management while giving back to the community and improving public spaces
Q Is this a common thing for the military to do
A Yes its a longstanding tradition The military frequently partners with local communities for public service projects which are often referred to as community relations or goodwill exercises
Q What are the main benefits of this program
A There are benefits for everyone
For the Parks They get muchneeded maintenance and beautification often at a lower cost
For the Soldiers They gain practical experience in planning logistics and working as a unit outside of a standard military environment
For the Community It fosters a positive relationship between citizens and the military and improves the quality of public spaces
Q Does this mean the parks department is underfunded
A Not necessarily While it can help supplement the work of city crews especially during budget crunches the primary goal is usually training and community engagement for the soldiers not filling a funding gap
Q Are the soldiers being paid for this work
A Yes soldiers receive their normal pay and benefits This work is considered a official duty assignment not volunteer work in the traditional sense
Q What kind of tasks are the soldiers doing
A You might see them performing general landscaping duties like mowing lawns trimming bushes planting flowers clearing weeds laying mulch and cleaning up litter
Q Is this a good use of military resources and taxpayer money
A Supporters argue it is as it provides valuable lowcost training in organization and teamwork while producing a tangible positive outcome for the public Critics might question if its the most efficient use of specialized personnel
Q Which specific parks in DC are they working in
