When it comes to choosing a partner, there are certain things most of us agree on. They should be kind, caring, and thoughtful. Sharing common interests helps, and so does remembering important dates like birthdays and anniversaries. But does it really matter if they can pronounce the word “gnocchi” correctly?
Apparently, it might be a dealbreaker—at least according to a rather judgmental crowd on TikTok. This is the “Illiterate Boyfriend” trend, where couples are being tested on the app. Users have put together lists of fairly advanced vocabulary words for women to ask their male partners to read aloud. Many of these men—and this is mostly a straight couple activity—struggle to get through the list without mistakes. They trip over words like “hyperbole,” “cynicism,” “diaphragmatic,” and the often-mispronounced French term “hors d’oeuvres.”
In one video that has been viewed over 8.8 million times, a woman asks her boyfriend, “I want you to do your best to pronounce these words.” He does well on his first try, correctly reading the herb “thyme.” But he has a harder time with “epitome,” “challah,” and “fuchsia” (he guesses “Foo-chia?”). Words like “conscientious” and “faux pas” also give him trouble. In the end, he scores five out of 17, or 29%—definitely a failing grade.
The couple laughed through the exercise, but viewers weren’t as amused by an adult man struggling with what they saw as basic vocabulary. One woman commented, “The fact that his vote matters just as much as mine is really pissing me off.” Another wrote, “I’m gonna be honest girl, this is worth breaking up with him over.”
Interestingly, two words the man got right were “colonel” and “regime,” which one user saw as a red flag: “he’s obviously a Republican.” (Or maybe he just likes military history, a classic hobby for boyfriends everywhere.) Regardless of his politics, it seemed fair to make fun of Mr. Foo-chia. One viewer joked, “He’d be so upset if he could read these comments.”
The trend spread across TikTok, with more young couples joining in and getting similarly poor results. Even the men who did well weren’t spared from the criticism. One man breezed through the list with a perfect score and a smug grin, but it wasn’t the win he might have expected. One woman commented, “This is the barest fckn minimumest [sic] of bare minimums.” Another added, “The men are being praised for literacy we’re in hell.”
This worry about so-called “intelligence gaps” connects to a bigger trend that flips decades of dating norms: women are now more likely to marry men with less education than the other way around. This isn’t necessarily by choice—it’s just the reality of today’s dating pool. According to a 2024 Pew Research report, in 1995, young men and women were equally likely to have a bachelor’s degree. Now, 47% of women aged 25 to 34 have one, compared to 37% of men in that age group.
Dr. Wendy Walsh, a clinical psychologist and expert at DatingNews.com, explains, “We do have in our mating market an oversupply of educated women and an undersupply of formally educated men—I’m talking academically, not necessarily in their skill set, emotional or social intelligence.”
Dr. Jess Carbino, a former sociologist for Tinder and Bumble who studies dating apps, says that when she asks people what they want in a partner, “intelligence” rarely makes the top three. “They say things like humor, kindness, attractiveness, typically,” she notes. “Maybe people on the coasts—New York, Los Angeles, San Francisco—mightPeople often say they want intelligence, but honestly, that’s not usually the main thing being tested. There are so many ways to define intelligence, and spelling is more about testing fourth-graders than choosing a romantic partner.
What people really want is an equal. “It’s not necessarily about having a specific degree or knowing every word in the dictionary,” said Robin Hamilton, a couples therapist. “It’s more about: can you communicate with me, can you meet me halfway on the topics I care about?”
One of those topics might be reading, which often reflects vocabulary. Men’s reading habits have declined over the past decade; in 2022, nearly half of all women read at least one novel or short story, but only one in four men did. On Tinder, mentions of books in bios jumped 40% among women this year, but only 23% among men. Women see this gap playing out on TikTok, even if it’s through a list that doesn’t really mean much.
It’s elitist—and naive—to judge someone’s potential as a partner based on a reading test. This “Illiterate Boyfriend” list includes words that might say more about class than intelligence, mixing education with a trait women have valued for centuries, often out of necessity: having money.
But this trend also points to a bigger frustration among straight women, who are much less likely to want to date than men, partly because they say it’s hard to find someone who meets all their expectations. “He sees the word ‘queue’ and says ‘qwi-wee’?” one woman commented in a video about the test. “And you still sleep with him?”
“It’s rage bait for women who are fed up with a dating scene that’s unfairly stacked against them,” Walsh said, adding: “It’s fine to date a guy who can’t pronounce ‘epitome’ or ‘niçoise.’ I have a PhD, but I still need spellcheck for ‘hors d’oeuvres.'”
Frequently Asked Questions
Here is a list of FAQs about the Illiterate Boyfriend test covering everything from the basics to the deeper psychology behind it
General Definition Questions
Q What is the Illiterate Boyfriend test
A Its a viral social media trend where a woman gives her boyfriend a list of commonly mispronounced words and asks him to read them out loud The goal is usually to see if he gets them right or makes funny embarrassing mistakes
Q Why is it called the Illiterate test
A Its a joke The name is purposely dramatic and ironic The women arent actually calling their partners illiterate they are teasing them for struggling with tricky English words that dont follow normal pronunciation rules
Q Where did this trend start
A It started on TikTok and quickly spread to Instagram Reels and YouTube Shorts It became popular because the reactions are usually funny and it creates a fun lowstakes challenge for couples
Q Is this test meant to be mean or insulting
A For the vast majority of couples no Its meant to be playful banter However the humor relies on the guy being a good sport If a partner gets genuinely upset the joke falls flat
The Words The Test Itself
Q What kind of words are on the list
A Usually its a mix of words with silent letters words borrowed from French and words with inconsistent pronunciations Common examples include Worcestershire Colonel Anemone Specific Mischievous and Segue
Q Why do people always mess up the word Worcestershire
A Because its a British place name with a completely silent first syllable It looks like it should be pronounced Warcestershire so it trips almost everyone up
Q What is the difference between this test and a spelling bee
A A spelling bee is about spelling words correctly This test is about pronouncing them correctly based on sight alone It tests reading skills and knowledge of linguistic rules not memory of letter order
Q Why do the men usually fail the word specific
