Lokacin da ya zo ga zaɓin abokin zamantakewa, akwai wasu abubuwa da yawancinmu muka yarda a kai. Ya kamata su kasance masu kirki, masu kulawa, da masu tunani. Raba abubuwan sha'awa iri ɗaya yana taimakawa, haka ma tuna da muhimman ranaku kamar ranar haihuwa da ranar tunawa da aure. Amma shin da gaske yana da muhimmanci idan sun iya furta kalmar "gnocchi" daidai?
Da alama, yana iya zama abin karya dangantaka—aƙalla bisa ga wasu mutane masu yawan zargi a TikTok. Wannan shi ne yanayin "Illiterate Boyfriend" (Abokin Zamantakewa Marar Karatu), inda ake gwada ma'aurata a kan manhajar. Masu amfani sun tattara jerin kalmomi masu zurfin ilimi don mata su tambayi abokan zamansu maza su karanta da babbar murya. Da yawa daga cikin waɗannan maza—kuma wannan galibi aiki ne na ma'aurata madaidaici—suna kokawa don su gama jerin ba tare da kuskure ba. Suna tuntuɓe a kan kalmomi kamar "hyperbole," "cynicism," "diaphragmatic," da kalmar Faransanci da ake yawan kuskure "hors d'oeuvres."
A cikin wani bidiyo da aka kalla sama da sau miliyan 8.8, wata mata ta tambayi saurayinta, "Ina so ka yi iya ƙoƙarinka don furta waɗannan kalmomin." Ya yi kyau a ƙoƙarinsa na farko, inda ya karanta ganyen "thyme" daidai. Amma ya sha wahala da "epitome," "challah," da "fuchsia" (ya yi zato "Foo-chia?"). Kalmomi kamar "conscientious" da "faux pas" ma sun ba shi wahala. A ƙarshe, ya sami maki biyar daga cikin 17, ko kashi 29%—tabbas ƙasa ce mai faɗuwa.
Ma'auratan sun yi dariya yayin aikin, amma masu kallo ba su ji daɗin wani mutum balagagge da ke kokawa da abin da suke gani a matsayin ƙamus na asali ba. Wata mata ta yi sharhi, "Gaskiyar cewa ƙuri'arsa tana da muhimmanci kamar tawa tana bani haushi sosai." Wata ta rubuta, "Zan faɗa miki gaskiya yarinya, wannan ya cancanci rabuwa da shi."
Abin sha'awa, kalmomi biyu da mutumin ya samu daidai sune "colonel" da "regime," wanda wani mai amfani ya ɗauka a matsayin alamar haɗari: "a fili yake shi ɗan Republican ne." (Ko wataƙila yana son tarihin soja, wani abin sha'awa na yau da kullun ga ƙawayen maza a ko'ina.) Ko da yaya siyasarsa take, ya zama kamar yana da kyau a yi ba'a da Mista Foo-chia. Wani mai kallo ya yi raha, "Da zai ji baƙin ciki sosai idan zai iya karanta waɗannan sharhin."
Yanayin ya bazu a ko'ina cikin TikTok, tare da ƙarin ma'aurata matasa da suka shiga kuma suka sami sakamako mara kyau iri ɗaya. Hatta mazan da suka yi kyau ba a bar su ba daga suka. Wani mutum ya gama jerin da cikakken maki da murmushin jin daɗi, amma ba nasarar da zai yi tsammani ba. Wata mata ta yi sharhi, "Wannan shi ne mafi ƙarancin abin da ake buƙata." Wata ta ƙara da cewa, "Ana yaba wa maza don ilimin karatu, muna cikin jahannama."
Wannan damuwa game da abin da ake kira "gibin hankali" yana da alaƙa da wani babban yanayi wanda ke juyar da shekarun da suka gabata na al'adun saduwa: mata a yanzu sun fi yiwuwa su auri maza da ba su da ilimi fiye da yadda ake yi a baya. Wannan ba lallai ba ne ta zaɓi—shi ne gaskiyar yanayin saduwa a yau. Bisa ga rahoton Pew Research na 2024, a 1995, samari maza da mata sun kasance daidai da yiwuwar samun digiri na farko. Yanzu, kashi 47% na mata masu shekaru 25 zuwa 34 suna da shi, idan aka kwatanta da kashi 37% na maza a wannan rukunin shekaru.
Dr. Wendy Walsh, ƙwararriyar likitan tunani kuma ƙwararriya a DatingNews.com, ta bayyana, "Muna da a kasuwar saduwar mu yawan mata masu ilimi fiye da kima da ƙarancin maza masu ilimin boko—ina magana ne a fannin ilimi, ba lallai ba ne a fannin ƙwarewarsu, hankalin motsin rai ko zamantakewa."
Dr. Jess Carbino, tsohuwar masaniyar zamantakewa ga Tinder da Bumble wadda ke nazarin manhajojin saduwa, ta ce idan ta tambayi mutane abin da suke so a cikin abokin zamantawa, "hankali" ba ya shiga cikin uku na farko. "Suna faɗin abubuwa kamar barkwanci, kirki, kyakkyawa, yawanci," in ji ta. "Wataƙila mutane a bakin teku—New York, Los Angeles, San Francisco—suna iya faɗin suna son hankali, amma gaskiya, wannan ba shine babban abin da ake gwadawa ba. Akwai hanyoyi da yawa na ayyana hankali, kuma rubutun kalmomi ya fi dacewa da gwajin yara masu shekara huɗu fiye da zaɓin abokin zamantawa."
Abin da mutane ke so da gaske shi ne daidaito. "Ba lallai ba ne a sami takamaiman digiri ko sanin kowace kalma a cikin ƙamus," in ji Robin Hamilton, ƙwararriyar mai ba da shawara ga ma'aurata. "Ya fi zama: shin za ka iya sadarwa da ni, za ka iya saduwa da ni a tsakiya a kan batutuwan da nake damuwa da su?"
Ɗaya daga cikin waɗannan batutuwa na iya zama karatu, wanda sau da yawa yana nuna ƙamus. Halin karatun maza ya ragu a cikin shekaru goma da suka gabata; a 2022, kusan rabin dukan mata sun karanta aƙalla littafi ɗaya na labari ko gajeren labari, amma kashi ɗaya cikin huɗu na maza kawai suka yi. A Tinder, ambaton littattafai a cikin bayanan sun tashi da kashi 40% a tsakanin mata a wannan shekara, amma kashi 23% kawai a tsakanin maza. Mata suna ganin wannan gibin yana faruwa a TikTok, ko da ta hanyar jerin da ba shi da ma'ana sosai.
Yana da nuna fifiko—kuma rashin hankali—a yi hukunci akan yuwuwar mutum a matsayin abokin zamantawa bisa gwajin karatu. Wannan jerin "Illiterate Boyfriend" ya haɗa da kalmomi waɗanda za su iya nuna al'ada fiye da hankali, yana haɗa ilimi da wani hali da mata suka daraja tsawon ƙarni, sau da yawa saboda larura: samun kuɗi.
Amma wannan yanayin kuma yana nuna babban takaici a tsakanin mata madaidaici, waɗanda ba su da yuwuwar son saduwa fiye da maza, wani ɓangare saboda suna cewa yana da wahala a sami wanda ya cika dukan tsammaninsu. "Ya ga kalmar 'queue' ya ce 'qwi-wee'?" wata mata ta yi sharhi a cikin bidiyo game da gwajin. "Kuma har yanzu kina kwana da shi?"
"Abin haushin mata ne waɗanda suka gaji da yanayin saduwa da aka yi musu rashin adalci," in ji Walsh, ta ƙara da cewa: "Yana da kyau a yi saduwa da mutumin da ba zai iya furta 'epitome' ko 'niçoise' ba. Ina da PhD, amma har yanzu ina buƙatar duban rubutu don 'hors d'oeuvres.'"
Tambayoyin da Aka Yi Yawa
Ga jerin tambayoyin da aka yi yawa game da gwajin Illiterate Boyfriend wanda ya rufe komai daga tushe zuwa zurfin tunani a bayansa
Tambayoyi na Gabaɗaya Ma'anar
Q Menene gwajin Illiterate Boyfriend
A Yanayin kafofin sada zumunta ne mai yaduwa inda wata mata ke ba wa saurayinta jerin kalmomin da ake yawan kuskure furta su kuma ta tambaye shi ya karanta su da babbar murya Manufar yawanci ita ce a ga ko zai samu daidai ko ya yi kuskure masu ban dariya masu kunya
Q Me ya sa ake kiransa gwajin Illiterate (marar karatu)
A Wasa ne Sunan da gangan yake da ƙarfi da ban tsoro Mata ba sa kiran abokan zamansu marasa karatu da gaske suna yi musu ba'a ne don kokawa da kalmomin Ingilishi masu wahala waɗanda ba sa bin ƙa'idodin furuci na yau da kullun
Q A ina wannan yanayin ya fara
A Ya fara ne a TikTok kuma da sauri ya bazu zuwa Instagram Reels da YouTube Shorts Ya zama sananne saboda halayen yawanci suna ban dariya kuma yana haifar da ƙalubale mai daɗi mara ƙarfi ga ma'aurata
Q Shin wannan gwajin yana nufin zagi ko cin mutunci ne
A Ga yawancin ma'aurata a'a Yana nufin wasa ne na ban dariya Duk da haka, abin dariya ya dogara da mutumin ya kasance mai yarda da wasa Idan abokin zamantawa ya ji haushi da gaske, wasan ya ɓace
Kalmomin Gwajin Da Kansa
Q Wane irin kalmomi ne ke cikin jerin
A Yawanci gauraya ce ta kalmomi masu haruffa shiru kalmomin da aka aro daga Faransanci da kalmomi masu furuci marasa daidaituwa Misalai na yau da kullun sun haɗa da Worcestershire Colonel Anemone Specific Mischievous da Segue
Q Me ya sa mutane kullum suke kuskure da kalmar Worcestershire
A Domin sunan wuri ne na Biritaniya wanda ɓangaren farko gaba ɗaya ba a furta shi ba Yana kama da ya kamata a furta shi Warcestershire don haka yana tuntuɓar kusan kowa
Q Menene bambanci tsakanin wannan gwajin da gasar rubutun kalmomi
A Gasar rubutun kalmomi tana game da rubuta kalmomi daidai Wannan gwajin yana game da furta su daidai bisa ganin su kawai Yana gwada ƙwarewar karatu da sanin ƙa'idodin harshe, ba tunawa da jerin haruffa ba
Q Me ya sa maza yawanci suke kasa da kalmar specific
