The Prosecution: Raquel
I can hear Gina brushing her teeth from my room—the swishing and spitting really gets to me. It’s a gut-level reaction.
We’ve lived together for two years now, after both of us went through breakups and needed a fresh start. Gina is fun and kind, but at home, her tooth-brushing habits drive me crazy. Sometimes she brushes her teeth in the kitchen sink if she’s in a rush to leave.
Gina has ADHD and is always multitasking. She’ll leave her keys in the door, which worries me, or misplace her toothbrush in the morning. I’ll come home and find it sitting on the kitchen counter after she’s used it. That grosses me out—the kitchen is for cooking, not spitting. It’s where we wash vegetables and rinse cups. I shouldn’t have to look down and see toothpaste foam sliding toward the drain.
In the bathroom, she has another bad habit: drinking straight from the tap while brushing. Not just once or twice—four or five times per session to rinse her mouth. She leans over, sucks water right from the faucet, swishes, and spits. I can hear the whole performance from my room, and it makes me cringe. Why not just use a cup?
I don’t know if her mouth touches the tap, and I don’t want to know. That’s the same tap I use to wash my face and fill my water bottle.
I don’t think I’m being overly sensitive. It’s about hygiene and respecting shared spaces. Brushing your teeth should stay at the bathroom sink, and the tap shouldn’t become a public drinking fountain.
Gina says she’ll try to stop, but every time I bring it up, she’s careful for about a week before slipping back into old habits. Living with someone who has ADHD can be challenging, but sometimes it feels like she uses it as an excuse. I’m not perfect either, but when someone asks me to change, I make an effort. Gina could try a little harder.
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The Defence: Gina
Living with ADHD isn’t easy, and honestly, the kitchen isn’t some holy space reserved only for food.
Raquel is exaggerating and missing the bigger picture. Yes, I sometimes brush my teeth in the kitchen sink, drink from the tap, and leave my things around—but that’s just how my brain works. With ADHD, I get distracted easily.
In the morning, I’m often multitasking—brushing my teeth while putting on my shoes or making lunch. The kitchen sink has running water and a drain, just like the bathroom. It all goes to the same pipes. It’s not some sacred zone, like Raquel seems to think.
I rinse the sink afterward—I’m not leaving spit everywhere. And honestly, the kitchen sink probably gets cleaned more often than the bathroom one. I don’t do this every day, either. The only evidence is if I leave my toothbrush out, which I know I shouldn’t do, but sometimes I forget.
As for drinking from the tap—lots of people do it. I grew up doing it with my brother. To me, it’s normal to rinse your mouth that way. Using a cup every time feels like extra work. I don’t put my mouth right on the tap—I just lean in and catch the water. Raquel makes it sound like I’m lapping it up like a cat. I like to rinse thoroughly, so yes, I take a few sips. It might sound like a lot, but it leaves my teeth feeling clean.
Bathrooms aren’t sterile labs. Germs are everywhere. Unless Raquel is disinfecting the tap every day, we’re both exposed to the same things.We all come into contact with germs in the bathroom. Living with ADHD is challenging. I could point out things Raquel does that bother me—everyone has habits that can be annoying, but I accept them because we live together. I can’t promise I’ll change. I’ve tried to stop walking around while brushing my teeth, but I keep forgetting.
The Guardian readers’ panel weighs in:
Should Gina take Raquel’s complaints more seriously?
Raquel should understand that sharing a home means they’re already exposed to each other’s germs. Drinking from the tap isn’t unhygienic—even if Gina put her mouth on it—because the water flows from inside the pipe. But it seems like Gina is using her ADHD as an excuse. She should respect Raquel’s feelings and try to adjust her behavior. Also, rinsing after brushing washes away fluoride—it’s better to just spit.
Mark, 64
Raquel’s issue seems to go beyond toothbrushing. If Gina changes, Raquel will likely find something else to complain about. It sounds like this living arrangement has run its course.
Caroline, 60
Gina is right that living together requires compromise, but she’s refusing to respect a reasonable request from her roommate. This is less about hygiene and more about respecting each other’s boundaries.
Molly, 26
Drinking from the tap is fine as long as there’s no direct mouth contact. But leaving a toothbrush on the kitchen sink is just gross. I don’t have ADHD, but it feels like Gina is using it as an excuse.
Thomas, 30
If Raquel can learn to work with Gina’s ADHD, Gina should also show some willingness to adapt. Not rinsing after brushing would help Gina get the full benefit of her toothpaste and could solve two issues at once.
Marianne, 36
Now it’s your turn to decide:
In our online poll, tell us whether you think Gina needs to improve her habits.
The poll closes on Wednesday, September 24 at 9am BST.
Last week’s results:
We asked if Abi should stop picking up other people’s litter.
– 11% said yes – Abi is in the wrong
– 89% said no – Abi is doing the right thing
This article was updated on September 18, 2025. The poll was initially left out due to a production error.
Frequently Asked Questions
Of course Here is a list of FAQs about the topic Should my roommate stop brushing her teeth at the kitchen sink in a natural conversational tone
General Beginner Questions
Q Why is brushing your teeth at the kitchen sink a problem
A Its primarily a hygiene issue Food is prepared there and toothpaste spit and stray bristles can spread germs to dishes and cooking areas
Q Isnt it basically the same as using the bathroom sink
A Not exactly The bathroom is designated for personal grooming while the kitchen is specifically for foodrelated activities making crosscontamination a bigger concern
Q Whats the big deal about a little toothpaste It washes down the drain
A While the paste itself washes away the act of spitting can aerosolize droplets potentially spreading bacteria onto nearby surfaces like countertops sponges or clean dishes
Q My roommate says it saves time Is that a valid reason
A While convenient for them it prioritizes their minor time savings over shared hygiene and the comfort of everyone who uses the kitchen A considerate compromise is usually better
Advanced Specific Scenario Questions
Q What if they are extremely careful and clean up perfectly afterward
A While cleaning helps its difficult to guarantee 100 sterilization of every droplet The simplest and most respectful solution is to use the bathroom to completely avoid the risk
Q Are there any health code or etiquette guidelines about this
A While not typically a formal health code violation in a home its widely considered a breach of basic shared living etiquette and common kitchen hygiene practices
Q Could this habit actually damage the kitchen sink or plumbing
A Its unlikely to cause damage as the same substances go down the bathroom drain The core issue is about hygiene and shared space respect not plumbing
Q What if our bathroom is shared with other roommates and is often occupied
A This is a common logistical challenge The solution isnt to default to the kitchen but to create a bathroom schedule or for your roommate to plan their routine better
Practical Tips Resolution
Q How should I bring this up with my roommate without starting a fight
A Use I statements and focus on shared comfort For example I feel uncomfortable when
