In January, Vogue made a bold prediction: “This quirky-chic shoe will be everywhere by 2025.” The style had already appeared on models, rappers, and all over social media. By summer, Grazia announced that “the split-toe trend that’s been simmering for years has finally gone mainstream,” citing shopping app Lyst, which listed the shoes among its top five most-searched items.
The shoes in question are toe shoes—lightweight, thin-soled sneakers with individual toe compartments. Available in various brands and styles, they may be gaining popularity, but I can confirm they’re not “everywhere.” After wearing them in public for a week, I didn’t see a single other person sporting them.
The original toe shoe, the Vibram FiveFingers, has been around since 2006. The pair I tried, the V-Alpha Hydro, has a 3mm rubber sole and a 2mm foam insole, designed to mimic barefoot movement. While marketed for outdoor training, hiking, and running, they’re not exactly stylish. The five separate toe slots allow for a more natural (if not more attractive) toe splay. No wonder Vogue called FiveFingers “the fitness world’s most divisive shoe.”
Vibram leads a niche market—not all toe shoes are barefoot shoes, and few barefoot shoes have articulated toes. Some only separate the big toe for a cloven-hoof effect. But all claim to improve upon traditional footwear.
The supposed benefits of my FiveFingers include “zero heel drop for better ground connection,” “enhanced foot-to-brain feedback,” and “maximum natural foot movement.” While they may offer a more natural fit, putting them on isn’t intuitive. My toes don’t slide easily into their pockets—they need coaxing. And yes, you’ll need toe socks, adding another step to your morning routine. Even after wrestling them on, I often find a toe has slipped into the wrong slot.
Once properly fitted, I took them for a test walk. At first, I felt like a clown—my splayed toes resembled tiny banana bunches, and the rubber soles slapped the pavement like duck feet. Beginners are advised to transition slowly, as walking in them requires a different gait. After about 50 meters, I adjusted to a mid-foot strike, quieter and more natural. The ground feel was intense—every crack and bump was noticeable.
But the dominant sensation was sheer self-consciousness. These shoes look bizarre. No one commented as I walked down a busy street, and I started hoping no one noticed—after all, I rarely pay attention to others’ footwear. Then I’d glance down and think: Yeah, but I’d definitely notice these.
Any illusion of subtlety vanished when I walked into my kitchen, where my middle son was sitting.
“What the hell are you wearing?” he asked.
“On my feet, you mean?” I replied.
The fact that I had them on kept catching me by surprise.Photo by Alicia Canter/The Guardian
“Yes, you’re wearing them,” he says.
“The must-have shoe of the summer,” I reply.
My oldest son walks in with his girlfriend.
“Oh my God, what are those?” she asks.
“The future,” I say.
“They’re hideous,” he mutters.
“They come in other colors,” I counter.
“What are they like to walk in?” she wonders.
“Honestly?” I admit. “Exhausting.”
They’re so tricky to put on that I hesitate to take them off.
It’s true—after just a few hours, my feet feel incredibly tired. Not sore, just deeply weary. It takes three days to build up enough stamina to wear them from morning to night. After that, I barely notice them. But every so often, it hits me: Hey, I’m driving in toe shoes! I’m grocery shopping in toe shoes! I feel connected to the ground, hyper-aware of every tiny change in texture—the grout between tiles, dry grass tickling my toes. I’m also getting used to the fact that everyone notices.
Provocative? Polarizing? Or just plain weird? Welcome to ugly shoe summer.
My wife isn’t thrilled, especially when she sees me wearing them as we’re about to leave for dinner.
“You said a week,” she reminds me.
“Today is a week,” I argue.
“You don’t have to wear them tonight,” she says. “You’re just being stubborn.”
The truth is, toe shoes are oddly addictive—light, comfortable, with Spider-Man-level grip. And since they’re such a hassle to put on, I hate taking them off.
At the restaurant, they stay hidden under the table, and I feel completely normal. But as we leave, I catch a waitress’s glance—she smiles, looks down, and her expression shifts. That’s when I know I can’t keep this up.
The next morning, while posing for photographer Alicia in the park, a man rushes over to keep his dog out of the shot. He apologizes, then studies me—a middle-aged man on a bench in the pale morning light.
“Is this about the shoes?” he asks.
“Of course it’s about the shoes,” I say.
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FAQS
### **FAQs About Ugly, Embarrassing – and Strangely Addictive Shoes**
#### **1. What are these “ugly” shoes Tim Dowling tried?**
They’re likely Crocs, Birkenstocks, or another divisive comfort shoe that people either love or hate for their unconventional look.
#### **2. Why would anyone wear shoes that are considered ugly?**
Because they’re often incredibly comfortable, practical, and—despite their looks—weirdly addictive once you get used to them.
#### **3. Are these shoes actually comfortable, or is it just hype?**
Many people swear by their comfort, especially for long wear. The cushioning, breathability, and ease of slipping them on make them a favorite for casual use.
#### **4. What makes these shoes so controversial?**
Their bold, often clunky designs clash with traditional fashion, leading to strong opinions—some find them hideous, while others embrace the quirky appeal.
#### **5. Can you wear “ugly” shoes in public without embarrassment?**
Absolutely! Many people do, especially as these shoes have gained a cult following. Confidence is key—own the look, and no one will question it.
#### **6. Do these shoes have any practical benefits?**
Yes! They’re usually lightweight, waterproof (if they’re Crocs), easy to clean, and great for quick errands or lounging.
#### **7. What’s the strangest thing about wearing them?**
How quickly you stop caring what they look like because they’re just so comfortable and convenient.
#### **8. Are there any downsides to wearing these shoes?**
Some people find them unsupportive for long walks, and they might not be appropriate for formal settings. Also, you might get a few judgmental stares.
#### **9. How do you style “ugly” shoes without looking sloppy?**
Pair them with casual outfits—athleisure, shorts, or relaxed jeans. Some high-fashion brands have even styled them in bold, intentional ways.
#### **10. Why did Tim Dowling find them addictive?**
Once he got past the initial embarrassment, the comfort and ease likely made them hard to give up—proving that function sometimes beats fashion.
#### **11. Are these shoes a passing trend
