When I buy something online, I only want two emails: one to confirm my order and another to tell me when it will be delivered. All the other notifications we get while browsing, buying, and waiting are supposed to be reassuring. But since when is being harassed reassuring?
Imagine walking into a store and immediately being tapped on the shoulder by someone asking, “Can I help you today?” Then someone else asks for your email in exchange for a 5% discount. When you find what you’re looking for and put it in your basket, it triggers more annoyance: “Hurry! Twenty-one other people have this in their basket too!” Of course they do—it’s shower gel, and a lot of people shower. That doesn’t make you rush; it just makes you glad that personal hygiene is still popular.
You wander around a bit more, and someone grabs your arm: “There’s still an item in your basket. Don’t forget to check out!”
At the register, there are more questions: “Do you want to give us your information, or check out as a guest?” You choose guest, because guests are supposed to be treated kindly. But after paying, someone yells in your face: “Sign up for this unrelated third-party website and get £15 cashback!!!!!” It couldn’t sound more shady. You hurry out of the store, chased by one last person: “How did we do? Please rate our service from one to five!”
The bus ride home is no escape. The driver announces, “Your item has been dispatched.” An old man next to you nudges your ribs and whispers, “Your item is on its way.”
When you finally get home, someone has broken in just to tell you, “Your item has arrived!” Then they run off, having stolen nothing but your time.
At least it’s over. The transaction is complete. You step into the shower, and the running water finally brings peace—until you see the message etched into the steam on the bathroom mirror: “Please review your purchase!”
You don’t. Because it’s a toiletry item, made by a multinational company, not Andrew Lloyd Webber. And you’re tired.
Please, if you’re a retailer reading this—leave me alone.
Athena Kugblenu is a comedian and writer.
Frequently Asked Questions
FAQs The Endless PostPurchase Email Problem
Q1 What is this hill about Whats the main complaint
A The core complaint is that after you buy something online many retailers bombard you with a relentless stream of emails These arent just order confirmations or shipping updates but endless followups asking for reviews pushing related products and begging you to join loyalty programs often feeling more like harassment than service
Q2 Isnt it helpful to get order updates and tracking info
A Absolutely The hill isnt about useful transactional emails Its about the flood of marketing emails that start immediately after which feel intrusive and unrelated to the purchase you just completed
Q3 Why do companies do this Isnt it annoying for customers
A They do it because its a cheap and automated way to try to drive more salesget a review to build trust or sell you the next thing immediately While it might work on a small percentage of people for many its deeply annoying and can actually damage the brands reputation making customers less likely to return
Q4 Whats a common example of these annoying emails
A Classic examples include Review your purchase sent 2 hours after delivery You might also like based on your single purchase Complete your profile to get a discount or We miss you sent a week after you bought something The postpurchase upsell or review request cascade is the biggest offender
Q5 Whats the harm Cant I just delete them or unsubscribe
A You can but it creates inbox fatigue and erodes trust It feels like a company values your data and your next purchase more than your current satisfaction The unsubscribe process isnt always instant and sometimes these emails come from different brands within the same company forcing you to unsubscribe multiple times
Q6 Are there any companies that do this well
