Just as the Beatles were breaking up, the strangest rumor began to spread—that I had died. We’d heard whispers of it before, but in the autumn of 1969, an American DJ stirred it up, and it took on a life of its own. Millions of fans worldwide came to believe I was really gone.
At one point, I turned to my new wife and asked, “Linda, how can I possibly be dead?” She smiled, holding our baby Mary, as aware as I was of the power of gossip and the absurdity of those ridiculous headlines. But she reminded me that we had rushed from London to our remote farm in Scotland precisely to escape the kind of toxic talk that was tearing the Beatles apart.
Now, more than fifty years later, I’m starting to think those rumors held a grain of truth. In many ways, I was dead—a 27-year-old soon-to-be ex-Beatle, drowning in legal battles and personal conflicts that drained my energy. I desperately needed a fresh start. I wondered if I could ever move on from that incredible decade or overcome the crises that seemed to erupt every day.
Three years earlier, on my accountant’s advice, I bought this sheep farm in Scotland. At first, I wasn’t keen—the land seemed bare and rugged. But exhausted by business troubles and realizing we couldn’t raise a family under London’s constant scrutiny, Linda and I looked at each other and said, “We should just escape.”
The isolation was exactly what we needed. Despite the harsh conditions, Scotland gave me the space to create. Looking back, we were totally unprepared for this wild adventure. There was so much we didn’t know. Linda would later write famous cookbooks, but in the beginning—and I can attest to this—she wasn’t a great cook. I wasn’t much better suited to country life. My father, Jim, back in Liverpool, had taught me many things, like gardening and a love of music, but laying a cement floor wasn’t one of them. Still, I wasn’t going to give up. I hired a man from town to teach me how to mix cement, lay it in sections, and tamp it to bring the water to the surface. No job felt too small or too big—cutting down a Christmas tree from the local woods, building a new table, or climbing a ladder to paint an old roof.
Shearing sheep was a big challenge. A man named Duncan taught me how to use old-fashioned shears and position a sheep on its haunches. Even though I could only manage ten sheep to his hundred, we were both exhausted by the end of the day.
I took great satisfaction in learning all these skills, in doing a good job, and in being self-reliant. The isolation was just what we needed. Despite the tough conditions, the Scottish landscape gave me time to create. Those close to us could see something exciting was happening. The old Paul was gone; the new Paul was emerging. For the first time in years, I felt free, suddenly steering my own life.
—Paul McCartney
Ted Widmer (editor of Wings: The Story of a Band on the Run, who compiled the following quotes over two years from new interviews and archive tapes): High Park Farm was a 183-acre sheep farm on the Kintyre peninsula in Argyllshire. In the autumn of 1969, Paul and Linda moved there with their daughters Heather and Mary. It was a bleak time of year, but that may have added to the appeal as Paul struggled with depression. One day, their privacy was invaded by a writer and photographer from Life magazine, checking to see if Paul was still alive. Initially annoyed by the intrusion, Paul was photographed throwing a bucket of slop at his unwanted visitors.But then he realized it was better to give a thoughtful interview, even shaving for the photos. To settle the matter, Paul explained his view on the Beatles and their approaching end. Surprisingly, no one picked up on it when he said, “The Beatles thing is over.” But it was right there in plain sight when the interview came out, with Paul and his family on the cover. It would be a different story a few months later.
Paul McCartney: The breakup hit like an atom bomb.
Klaus Voormann (musician): It was unbelievable. When you think of the last albums, like Abbey Road, it’s a great record—very professional, with great songs and excellent playing—but the band itself was no more.
Paul [in 1970]: You can’t blame John for falling in love with Yoko [Ono] any more than you can blame me for falling in love with Linda. We tried writing together a few more times, but I think we both realized it was easier to work separately.
I told John on the phone that I was upset with him. I was jealous because of Yoko and worried about the end of a great musical partnership. It took me a year to understand that they were in love.
Here’s my diary. September 1969. I was only 27. “This is the day John said, ‘I want a divorce.'” The day the Beatles broke up. We decided to keep it a secret. I just remember thinking to myself, ‘Oh, fuck!’
Leaving the Beatles, or having the Beatles leave me, however you see it, was really hard because that was my life’s work. When it ended, it was like, ‘Oh God, what do we do now?’
Chris Welch (journalist): It’s a tragedy, really, that they broke up when they did. If they’d continued, they would have had better management, better sound systems, and they could have put on incredible shows. The Beatles at Glastonbury would have been amazing. But their time had come. They had to go.
Paul: Leaving the Beatles, or having the Beatles leave me, however you look at it, was very difficult because that was my life’s job. So when it stopped, it was like, “Oh God, what do we do now?” Honestly, I had no idea. There were two choices: either stop making music and find something else to do, or keep making music and figure out how to do that.
Linda McCartney: I remember Paul saying, “Help me take some of this weight off my back.” And I said, “Weight? What weight? You guys are the princes of the world. You’re the Beatles.” But the truth was, Paul wasn’t in great shape; he was drinking a lot, playing a lot, and even though he was surrounded by women and fans, he wasn’t very happy. We all thought, “Oh, the Beatles and flower power”—but those guys had every parasite and vulture on their backs.
Mary McCartney: Mum and Dad just closed ranks. They were like, “We love each other. The only way to get through this is to get away from London, be really down-to-earth, and do the opposite of city life. Back to basics. Shearing sheep, picking potatoes, horse riding in the middle of nowhere, going to the beach with your kids, just being together. Sing, create music in your back room.”
Paul: We were thrown into this new life and just had to figure it out.
Stella McCartney (born 1971): That American spirit Mum had. Americans are a bit more positive, a bit more like, “Come on, cheer up.”
Paul: But all along, the one who didn’t go that way was Linda. She’s just that kind of woman who could help me through it. Gradually, we got it together.
Every year, the office had bought my Christmas tree. I remember thinking, “I’m going to go out and buy it myself.” With the Beatles, everything had been done for me. Once you realize that’s how you’re living, you suddenly think, “Yes, come on! Come on, life, come on, nature!”Archive LLP. Photographer: Linda McCartney
Stella: When I was a teenager, I hated going there. I’d say, “Oh my God. This loch. This rock. Can I please just go to the Hamptons?” But now, those are our best memories—the ones that really bring us all together. Our family has a deep respect for nature, which is a big part of who we are. In Scotland, we experienced it in its purest form: the streams, the tadpoles, watching the seasons change, the flowers, getting thrown from our horses, and walking through the bracken. It was a full sensory experience.
Paul: We worked hard, tilling the fields and growing all kinds of things in our vegetable garden. We had some really good turnips. I used tricks I learned from my dad about gardening back home and applied them in Scotland. To this day, it still amazes me: you plant a seed, the rain waters it, the sun shines on it, and then something grows that you can eat. That’s something to always be thankful for.
We were living close to nature, and the sky there was breathtaking. We didn’t have much money to spend, and there wasn’t much to spend it on anyway. But we made do, and that was part of the fun—finding solutions. For example, we didn’t have a bath. Next to our small kitchen, there was a spot where farmers used to clean milking equipment—a big galvanized tub about three feet off the ground. I suggested we fill it with hot water and use it as a bath. That’s the kind of resourcefulness we had.
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‘No job seemed too small or too large. A big challenge was to shear the sheep’: McCartney is taught to clip sheep ‘by a guy called Duncan’, watched over by daughters Heather and Mary. © 1971 Paul McCartney under exclusive licence to MPL Archive LLP. Photographer: Linda McCartney
Mary: Mum and Dad had the vegetable patch. Stella and I would sneak down and steal sweet peas to eat right there. I remember Dad would peel a bit of turnip and say, “Taste this. It’s the most delicious turnip you’ve ever had.” We’d roll our eyes and think, “What the heck!” But now that I’m older, I totally get it. They learned to appreciate what some might call the simpler things in life, but I’d say the more important things.
Stella: Scotland had a huge influence on us. As kids, it was the most peaceful place. The five of us—since James wasn’t born yet—were so isolated, and it made us a close-knit family. Mary and I bonded a lot during that time because we were close in age. We’d ride horses all day and get lost in the hills. For me, the fashion influence from that period came straight from the farm! Meanwhile, being on the road with Wings was all rock ‘n’ roll—sequins, velvets, rhinestones, platform boots, culottes, mixed prints, airbrushing, graphic T-shirts. That style was iconic and a total contrast to Scotland, where we were just in the fields with family, surrounded by nature, sounds, and smells. In Scotland, all your senses were on overload because there was so much space and time around everything. You could really feel everything happening around you. On tour, everything was chaotic—constantly moving from a tour bus to a plane to the stage to the gig to backstage.
Paul: I ended up making a table, which was so satisfying. I’d taken woodwork in school, and like most kids from that era, it was my favorite class. I decided to build it without nails, using only glue. I sketched out the design, figuring out the width and how the legs would fit. Back at the Liverpool Institute, we had woodwork classes that many of us guys enjoyed. I remembered a few things from those days.I thought I knew how to make a dovetail joint. Over the next few months, I went into town and bought a chisel and hammer. I had all the materials, but they were just planks of wood sitting in the corner of the kitchen. I was too nervous to put it together. Eventually, I bought some woodworking glue called Evo-Stik, which is supposed to be very strong. One night, I finally gathered the courage and thought, “Let’s do this.” At the very end, under the table, there was a cross-truss that needed to fit, and I panicked when it didn’t. But I managed to figure it out by turning it upside down, and then it fit perfectly. I have an idea of how to do something and the passion to see it through. And the table is still standing today.
Chris Welch: When Paul returned from the Beatles and started his new musical career, he had two great allies. One was Linda, and the other was a blank sheet of paper where he could jot down ideas for new songs. These were the driving forces behind him then: blank paper and Linda.
Paul spent time playing with Heather in the mud, and a horse named Lucky Spot poked its head through a window. (Photos © 1971, 1977 Paul McCartney, under exclusive licence to MPL Archive LLP. Photographer: Linda McCartney)
Paul: I held on, wondering if the Beatles would ever reunite and hoping John might come around and say, “Alright, lads, I’m ready to get back to work.” In the meantime, I started looking for something to do. Just sit me down with a guitar and let me go—that’s my job.
Michael McCartney (Paul’s younger brother): Loving your wife and having children—that’s another kind of “Beatles.”
Chris Welch: It was Linda who encouraged him to return to music and later form the band Wings. He did the best thing possible by writing songs about what appealed to him, whether silly love songs or rock ‘n’ roll. He wanted to experiment and be free to follow his interests, even everyday things like cooking or making breakfast.
Paul: Sometimes you manage because you have to. For me, it was, “Well, I like music. What am I going to do?” So I brought a four-track machine into the house and started recording bits and pieces. I’d sit around with a guitar and began writing, just making instrumental pieces. It’s something I still enjoy today. It all started with me in the living room, using the machine. I wasn’t aiming for popular success; I was doing it because it was fun. It meant I hadn’t given up—it was a continuation.
Paul is pictured with members of the Campbeltown Pipe Band, who played on Wings’ 1977 single “Mull of Kintyre.” (Photo © 1977 MPL Communications Ltd)
I didn’t really think it would become an album. I was just recording for the sake of it. I’d get up, think about breakfast, and then wander into the living room to work on a track. The spirit of the times was to do it yourself, keep it simple, and avoid being overblown. You’ve done the Beatles, “A Day in the Life,” and “Sgt. Pepper.” Now it was time to get back to basics.
For “Maybe I’m Amazed” (a song on his 1970 solo debut album, McCartney), I went into a studio. I was trying to put into words what it felt like to be a young married person starting a life with this lovely girl I was still getting to know. There was a feeling of nervousness—maybe I was afraid of this new experience? It’s true; falling in love is both blissful and scary. That’s what I was trying to capture. I put it all together, playing piano, drums, guitar solo, and bass. Then we added harmonies, and Linda was great thanks to her glee club training. We used to do that for…We had fun around the house, singing in harmony like Patience and Prudence. We would divide into two vocal parts and figure out how to blend them. “Maybe I’m Amazed” expressed my feelings of wonder and fear at the same time—being an adult in a marriage for the very first time.
This is an edited excerpt from Wings: The Story of a Band on the Run by Paul McCartney, edited by Ted Widmer, published by Allen Lane on November 4. To support the Guardian, order your copy from guardianbookshop.com. Delivery fees may apply.
Wings: The Definitive Self-Titled Collection will be released on November 7 by MPL/Capitol Records/UME.
Frequently Asked Questions
Of course Here is a list of FAQs about Paul McCartneys reflections on the postBeatles years based on the theme The world thought I was finished and in many ways I felt that way too
General Beginner Questions
1 What is Paul McCartney referring to with this quote
Hes talking about the difficult period right after The Beatles broke up in 1970 Many people believed his career was over without the band and he himself struggled with depression and a lack of direction
2 Why did people think he was finished
The Beatles were a global phenomenon and it was hard for anyone to imagine the members being as successful on their own Paul was often seen as just one part of the songwriting team with John Lennon so his solo prospects seemed uncertain
3 How did Paul McCartney actually feel during this time
He has said he felt lost depressed and unsure of his future He retreated to his farm in Scotland drank heavily and felt the immense pressure of following up The Beatles legacy
4 What was the first thing he did after The Beatles broke up
He recorded his first solo album McCartney almost entirely by himself at home This was a raw personal response to the highpressure polished Beatles environment
Deeper Advanced Questions
5 How did he overcome this feeling of being finished
He focused on his family formed a new band and deliberately started from scratch He wanted to prove he could succeed again without relying on The Beatles name
6 What was the significance of forming Wings
Forming Wings was a conscious decision to build a new band identity unlike a solo career It was his way of recreating the camaraderie and collaborative spirit he missed from The Beatles
7 What were some of the biggest challenges his new band Wings faced
They faced harsh criticism from music critics struggled to be taken seriously and had several lineup changes in the early years Their first tours were small and humble a stark contrast to Beatles mania
8 What song or album proved he wasnt finished
The 1973 album
