Just before 6 p.m. local time on Friday at the Los Angeles Stadium, the actor who plays Ted Lasso—the fictional manager of a fake team in a falsely heartwarming version of football—will tell hundreds of millions of TV viewers watching the start of the American leg of the FIFA World Cup that football unites the world.
In an interesting twist, actor Jason Sudeikis will deliver this message at a time when the World Cup host is also bombing the second-ranked country in Group G, after recently killing its head of state. The message of unity will likely be heard by US President Donald Trump, who has started six military conflicts in his second term and whose harshly divisive immigration policies have now led to the banning of Omar Artan, the reigning African Referee of the Year.
[Image: Ted Lasso actor Jason Sudeikis will take part in the pre-match festivities before USA vs. Paraguay in Los Angeles in the early hours of Saturday morning BST. Photograph: Colin Hutton/Apple]
Maybe the heartwarming message of hope will resonate better with Gianni Infantino, who also likes to say that football unites the world—though he says it as “Pediludus Coniungit Mundum,” the absurdly Latinized motto on his beloved Club World Cup trophy.
In this case, though, Infantino will likely show up less as a benevolent football Jesus and more in full Trump-style excitement, a man who lights up like an Elven sword when a handsome dictator approaches. And he doesn’t seem to care much about the exclusion of a Somali referee, or anyone from the 39 football family members currently banned from entering the US.
Never mind. Just say the line, Jason. This is LA. If you really believe it, then everyone else will too. Now give us that heartwarming feeling, damn it. And the joke, as always, is on us. Here we go again, still drooling over the spectacle as the clock ticks closer to midnight, dazzled by intrigue and drama, worrying about Djed Spence’s defensive skills while the world burns.
[Image: Donald Trump with the World Cup trophy last year—under his presidency, the US is the only tournament host to have banned FIFA member countries from attending. Photograph: Jacquelyn Martin/AP]
As the World Cup enters its bloated early rounds—a time of flag-waving and ceremonial speeches—it’s probably time to talk about American sportswashing, about American imperialism in the age of Trump, and about football’s willingness to follow along like a lost and hungry dog.
There has been a lot of hype around this tournament. But it’s now undeniably groundbreaking. Most obviously, that opener in Los Angeles will mark the first time the World Cup has been hosted by a country that is simultaneously starting both a global war and a global economic crisis. And somehow, it has to be said, it’s avoiding any real scrutiny over either.
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Qatar was at least completely open about its horrors. Yes, we will stage a World Cup built on the bones of indentured labor. We can argue over semantics. But it’s going to happen. Football entered that dark space. Infantino could style himself as cleaning up the mess left by others, as a kind of progressive internationalist, a big-picture guy who really understands the struggles of hardline, super-rich inherited monarchies.
Before that, Russia was a bit of a surprise for most people. Vladimir Putin was ahead of the curve. We bought it, swallowed it, puzzled over it. Russia even went through the motions of waiting a few years before the full-scale invasion of Ukraine. But right now, you can click the TV remote from your huge padded armchair covered in Doritos dust, and the US will be doing all this live and in real time on the next channel.
There’s a sense of sadness here, of missed opportunities.The United States is the most powerful economic and cultural force on Earth, acting as a self-appointed global overseer and all-around democracy watchdog. It’s a place where liberty is cherished, where people toss around the word “freedom” like it’s a threat, an insult, or a blood-stained battle-axe. Yet, the US is also the only World Cup host to ban FIFA members from attending. So far, the landscape it has created is barren and divisive—a depressingly angry version of football uniting the world.
It didn’t have to be this way. Football is already beloved in many of America’s immigrant communities. Two straight summers of FIFA festivities could have been a force for cohesion, unity, and connection. Instead, Trump has spent his second term persecuting parts of his own population, unleashing a border force militia, and creating the familiar toxic narrative around race and immigration.
That’s why it’s wrong to see the exclusion of a Somali referee as just a dry enforcement of rules, or even as an oversight or an embarrassment. This was intentional. It’s a deliberate message, Trump speaking to his base. This is what American isolationism looks like from the inside—a way to convince your domestic audience that everyone else is the enemy, and that border traffic is really the biggest problem facing the world’s richest and most successful immigrant country.
From the outside, that isolationism looks like unilateral military action, missiles in the strait, and the most obvious big-picture reason why America isn’t a fit or desirable World Cup host right now. It’s hard to overstate the pure cinematic strangeness of Iran’s presence in Los Angeles, where the team will open its campaign two days after Trump, the USMNT, and the Jason Sudeikis message of hope.
Let’s be clear. The issue with Iran isn’t just that its team is being forced to travel in and out of the country, or that some of its officials don’t have visas. The issue with Iran is the US and Israeli bombing campaign that has led to the plugging of the global oil spigot, and which is also an act of violence toward every other country on Earth.
So far, potentially ruinous fuel shortages have been avoided. But there’s plenty of analysis suggesting that the world football is currently uniting might also be heading for a state of profound economic crisis. Jet fuel and diesel—which nobody ever thought to stockpile in Europe—could be about to skyrocket. Pacific nations are talking about rationing and working from home. Never mind killing your holiday flights. Trump may be about to kill your ability to buy enough potatoes.
Why does the US get to act like this without pressure or censure? Is it simply bowing to the world’s most capricious and powerful ally? Is there still some inherited sense that America doing things in the Gulf must be good for all of us—a dormant Tony Blair derangement syndrome?
There’s a suggestion that the sheer scale of FIFA’s complicity might finally leave Infantino exposed.
In reality, American isolationism under Trump isn’t just punching the world for the sake of it, or madness or stupidity. It’s an economic strategy—a way of generating wealth by disrupting everyone else. America won’t suffer as a result of bombing Iran. It’s a net energy exporter, insulated by its fracking industry while the rest of the world picks up the tab. And yet, instead of outrage or demands for reparations, the world is staging a party in Trump’s back garden, overseen by the self-styled king of football, throat flushed, eyes boggled with doe-eyed dictator-love.
There’s a suggestion that the sheer scale of FIFA’s complicity might finallyInfantino is left exposed and vulnerable to challenges from his members at next year’s presidential election. This World Cup is his life’s work, his masterpiece, but it might also be a step too far. Infantino has absorbed FIFA into his very being, becoming its one-man brand, its official Instagram voice, the sun king who believes he has a divine calling to be in these rooms doing these things. Now I am become football, destroyer of worlds.
He has also stretched FIFA’s own rules by aligning the global game with a single divisive political movement, and has run this World Cup without a local organizing committee, overseeing it like a rainmaker alongside the MAGA politician and well-known American patriot Andrew Giuliani. Football survived Qatar and Russia. It will survive this too, but in what form, and with how much love, trust, and connection? How thin can you stretch this thing, how far can you push the limits of tolerance? We may be about to find out.
Frequently Asked Questions
Here is a list of FAQs about Welcome to Trumps World Cup designed to feel natural and cover the basics through deeper details
Beginner Questions
1 What exactly is Welcome to Trumps World Cup
Its a satirical fictional concept Imagine a hyperaggressive politically charged version of soccer where the rules are bent to favor brute force nationalism and winning at all costs The grim twist is that despite the anger and chaos it somehow forces global rivals to finally cooperate
2 Is this a real video game or movie
No Its a conceptual joke or a thought experimenta dark mirror of realworld politics and sports Think of it as a meme or a short story premise not an actual product
3 How is it different from regular soccer
In regular soccer you get a yellow card for a hard tackle In Trumps World Cup tackles are encouraged referees are replaced by deal makers and the goal is less about scoring and more about humiliating your opponent The ball might even be replaced by a briefcase
4 Why is it grim and angry
The tournament is built on national grievances trashtalking and zerosum thinking Players are angry fans are furious and the atmosphere is tense Its a satire of how politics can drain the joy out of sports
5 How does it bring the world together if its so angry
Paradoxically the shared misery and absurdity of the rules force nations to negotiate To survive the tournament even bitter enemies have to form temporary alliances to stop the most aggressive teams The anger becomes a common language
Advanced Deeper Questions
6 What are the specific Trumpstyle rule changes
Key changes include
No ties Games go to a suddendeath boardroom brawl until one team concedes
The Art of the Deal penalty Instead of a free kick the fouled team gets to make a onetime demand
Fan interference Home fans are allowed to throw paper airplanes or blow vuvuzelas during opponents free kicks
7 Who would be the best player in this version
Not the most technical player but the
