Like many teenagers, I wasn’t confident in social situations. Throughout my school years in the early 2010s, I dreaded new social experiences and would often lie awake at night worrying about the day ahead. What I now recognize as social anxiety, I dismissed back then as simple nerves. Although I sensed something wasn’t quite right, I managed to hide my discomfort for most of my early teens. Sharing a friend group with my twin sister meant I could hide behind her.
As we grew older, the gap between us widened, and her growing social confidence highlighted everything I lacked. By my late teens, I often built social situations up in my mind until they felt unbearable. The false story I’d created about embarrassing myself socially had completely overshadowed my desire to be around others. So I withdrew a lot.
My mum found me a therapist. She was incredible and helped me work through emotions I didn’t really understand. As my sessions came to an end and we had talked as much as we could, the only thing left was for me to go out into the world and put everything we’d discussed into practice.
When I started to spiral about this, as I usually did, and shared my worry, she asked me: “What’s the worst thing that could happen?” I said: “Well, I could be embarrassed, I wouldn’t know what to say, I’d make a fool of myself.” These were the usual thoughts that tormented me. But then she asked: “And then what?”
Not for the first time, she made me question the anxious voice in my head. I paused and thought about it, then said: “Well, then I’d just go home and go to bed.” She replied: “Exactly, and then you’d wake up tomorrow and start the day again, and it would be over.”
In that moment, even my spiraling mind couldn’t make the situation any worse. I realized those two simple questions brought me back to reality when my mind tried to race ahead and find problems that most likely wouldn’t happen.
Those questions have saved me from my anxiety time and time again. They saved me on my first day of university, when we had to introduce ourselves one by one. Standing up in a room full of strangers and sharing a “fun fact” about myself would have been a nightmare for me before. But asking myself: “And then what?” made me realize that even if it were the most embarrassing day of my life, I could still just go home at the end and never go back. Funny enough, it wasn’t the most embarrassing day of my life. I graduated three years later with a first-class degree and never thought twice about that moment until now.
Dates used to be terrible. The anxiety they caused often led me to cancel at the last minute or get blackout drunk just to get through them. Shortly after finishing therapy, I went on a date with those two questions in my mind. It was one of the first dates where I didn’t feel physically sick at the thought of going—simply because I reminded myself that even my worst-case scenario meant I could just go home afterward, put on pyjamas, and watch a film.
Since then, asking myself: “What’s the worst that could happen?” and: “And then what?” has gotten me through countless anxiety-inducing moments, including job interviews and moving across the world from the UK to Australia with my boyfriend. Now, if my social anxiety spikes just because I ran into an old school friend at Tesco, I know what to do. These questions bring me back to reality and calm me down.
Frequently Asked Questions
Here is a list of FAQs based on the article The one change that worked Anxiety made me hide from the world then two magic questions set me free
Beginner Questions
What is this article about
It is a personal story about a woman who overcame severe anxiety and social isolation by asking herself two specific questions
What were the two magic questions
1 What is the worst that can happen
2 Can I handle it
How did anxiety make the author hide from the world
The author felt overwhelming fear in social situations so she avoided parties work events and meeting new people to feel safe
What is the main lesson of the story
The main lesson is that facing your fears by questioning them can shrink their power over you
Did the author cure her anxiety completely
The article suggests she found a way to manage it effectively allowing her to live a full life rather than hiding from it
Intermediate Questions
Why are these two questions so effective for anxiety
They force your brain to switch from emotional panic to logical thinking They help you realize that the feared outcome is usually not catastrophic and that you are capable of coping
Can I use these questions for any type of anxiety
Yes While the author used them for social anxiety the logic works for many fears such as fear of failure public speaking or making mistakes
What is the benefit of asking What is the worst that can happen
It takes the vague scary feeling of dread and turns it into a specific realistic scenario Often the worstcase scenario is something you can survive
How do I answer the second question Can I handle it
You answer it by looking at your past You have survived bad days before You remind yourself that you are resilient and have support systems or skills to get through difficult moments
What is a common mistake people make when trying this technique
A common mistake is answering the questions while still in a state of panic You need to be calm enough to answer honestly and logically
Advanced Questions
Is this technique the same as Cognitive Behavioral Therapy
Yes it is very similar This technique is a form of cognitive restructuring which is a core component of CBT It involves identifying and challenging irrational thoughts
What if the worstcase scenario actually happens
The goal is not to guarantee
