Bayan wata rana mai gajiyarwa a matsayin ma'aikacin kula da makaranta, Paul ɗan shekara 28 ba ya son wani abu fiye da shakatawa da wani kyakkyawan littafin soyayya—wanda ya fi dacewa ya kasance mai ɗanɗanon fantasy ko horror. Yana karanta biyar ko shida a wata; kwanan nan, Love Bytes, game da wata macen wolf mai tsawon ƙafa 8 wadda ke gudanar da wani kamfanin AI mai matuƙar nasara kuma ta ƙaunaci wani kyakkyawan malamin rawa.
Paul ya shiga cikin littattafan soyayya ta hanyar da ya kira "mafi na gargajiya"—kamar jerin littattafan soyayya na Regency Bridgerton. Yana da wani ɗan nakasu a gani, don haka yawanci yana karantawa a Kindle ɗinsa, inda zai iya daidaita girman rubutu. A cikin littafin farko na Bridgerton, "Simon, babban hali, yana da matsalar magana da dole ya shawo kanta," in ji Paul. "Na fi kusanci da wannan. Yawanci, ba na yawan saduwa da jaruman da ke da nakasa."
Ba ya magana da kowa game da ƙaunarsa ga littattafan soyayya, yana sadarwa ne kawai da sauran masu amfani da wata tashar Discord da ake kira Romance for Men. "Na kasance a wani shafi na Reddit daban don shawarwarin littattafai kuma wani ya tambaya ko akwai soyayya da ta dace da maza," in ji shi. "Kuma rabin maganganun sun kasance kawai, 'Oh, kana nufin batsa?'"
Duba hoto a cikakken allo
Jerin shirye-shiryen talabijin na Bridgerton ya dogara ne akan littattafan soyayya na Regency. Hoto: Netflix
Maza masu madigo kamar Paul waɗanda ke karanta da rubuta soyayya galibi ba a ganin su a duniya baki ɗaya. Mata ne manyan masu sauraron wannan nau'in, sai kuma soyayyar queer, wadda ke da nasara da aka rubuta sosai. Kundin na biyar na Heartstopper na Alice Oseman—game da abota tsakanin samari biyu matasa da ke bunƙasa zuwa soyayya—shine littafin zane mafi saurin sayarwa a Burtaniya kuma shirin Netflix mai nasara, yayin da marubuta kamar Alexis Hall ake karanta su sosai kuma ake yaba su. Amma a wannan kusurwar wallafe-wallafe, ba a pe ganin maza masu madigo kuma yawanci ana wulakanta su.
A Mills & Boon, fitaccen mawallafin almara na soyayya, maza suna da kashi 4% kawai na tallace-tallace, a cewar wani daraktan edita, yayin da ƙasa da 2% na Ƙungiyar Marubutan Soyayya ta Burtaniya maza ne. Kusan ba a san komai ba game da yawan maza da ke karanta almara na soyayya, da kuma dalilin da ya sa.
Ga waɗanda na yi magana da su, duk da haka, karanta soyayya ya wuce nishaɗi kawai. Yana ba da wani nau'in 'yanci, yana ba su damar jin zurfi, tunanin ana son su, da karɓar sassan kansu da namiji na al'ada ba shi da wuri ga su. Da yawa za su yi magana ne kawai ba da suna, suna tsoron a yi musu kuskure ko a yi musu ba'a.
Kafin littattafai, hanyar Paul zuwa soyayya ta fara ne da wasannin bidiyo na wasan kwaikwayo a shekarunsa na matashi: "Kana da wasu jaruman da ba za a iya buga su ba waɗanda abokan tafiyarka ne, kuma za ka iya gina dangantaka ta soyayya da su yayin da kake ci gaba." Ya karkata zuwa wasa da jaruman maza masu tsauri da ke tara ƙungiyoyi daban-daban zuwa yaƙi, ya gane daga baya cewa hanyar diflomasiyya ta fi aiki. Abin da ya ja hankalin waɗannan jaruman shi ne sun bambanta da shi sosai. "Ina jin tsoron rikice-rikice sosai, kuma idan akwai jayayya, kawai ina so in ɓoye," in ji shi.
A cikin 2015, Paul ya sami labarin cewa Stephenie Meyer, marubucin soyayyar vampire Twilight, ta fitar da wani sigar littafin da aka juya jinsi. "A matsayin matashi, yana da daɗi sosai kawai in ƙi Twilight. Amma na karanta shi duk da haka, kuma akwai wani lokaci inda Edythe, vampire ɗin, ta gaya wa jarumin namiji cewa ta gaji da ƙoƙarin nisantar da shi. A nan ne ya same ni. Akwai wani ɓangaren fantasy na ana son ka haka." A yau, yana neman littattafan da masu sha'awa suka sani da romance for men (RFM), kamar Charlotte's Reject na KR Treadway, wanda ke ɗauke da wata mace "mai ban tsoro". "A cikin soyayyar mata, koyaushe namiji ne mai cin zarafi," in ji shi. "Karanta soyayyar maza galibi akasin haka ne, kuma ya sa na gane cewa ina lafiya da yadda nake. Ina iya karɓar kaina sosai, saboda na ga cewa wannan wani yanayi ne mai yiwuwa a cikin dangantakar soyayya."
Duba hoto a cikakken allo
Maza suna da kashi 4% kawai na tallace-tallacen littattafan Mills & Boon. Hoto: Alamy
Andrew ya shiga soyayya ne da gangan gwaji. Ɗan shekara 31, wanda ke aiki a fannin fasaha, babban mai sha'awar sci-fi da fantasy ne kuma yana ɗaukar kansa "a gefen mata na duniya." Ba zai iya yin watsi da gaskiyar cewa yawancin tattaunawa a cikin littattafan da ya fi so maza ne suka rubuta kuma tsakanin maza. "Na gaji sosai," in ji shi.
Yayin da yake yawo a wani kantin littattafai shekaru uku da suka wuce, ya yanke shawarar ɗaukar littafi na wata marubuciya kuma ya sami Fourth Wing na Rebecca Yarros, game da Violet Sorrengail mai hawan dragon da ke amfani da walƙiya. "Ba ni da wani mahallin sosai kuma na saya shi kawai. Ban san menene soyayya ko romantasy ba," in ji shi. "Ya kasance sabon abu ganin abubuwa daga hangen wata jaruma. Ban taɓa karanta littafin fantasy da ke da yawa game da soyayya da jima'i ba."
Tun daga nan, Andrew ya nemi wasu marubutan romantasy, daga Penn Cole zuwa Carissa Broadbent da Sarah J Maas. Ya kuma gabatar da matarsa ga wannan nau'in. "Tana da ƙungiyar littattafai ta mata, kuma duk sun kasance masu shakka da farko, sannan duk sun kamu da shi," in ji shi.
Romantasy ba "mugu" ba ne kamar yadda batsa take, in ji Andrew, amma zai ji kunya idan ya sayi littattafai a bainar jama'a waɗanda "suka shafi jima'i sosai." "Ina son ɓoyewar karanta shi a wayata ko Kindle, maimakon littafi na zahiri a cikin jirgin ƙasa," in ji shi. Duk da haka, yana mamakin ko ci gaba da ɗaukaka jima'i a cikin nau'in yana da farashi. "Duk lokacin da suka yi shi, shine mafi kyawun abin da ya taɓa faruwa da su. Zan iya tunanin akwai wani abu mai guba a ciki, saboda jima'i na rayuwa ta gaske na iya zama ɗan rashin daɗi."
Duba hoto a cikakken allo
Ba a san yawan maza da ke karanta almara na soyayya ba. Hoto: Kosijerphotography/Getty Images
Ali, ɗan shekara 54, tsohon ma'aikacin banki na zuba jari, ya sami "farkon fallasa shi ga soyayya" shekaru 40 da suka wuce. Ƙanwarsa tana da rajista ga mujallar matasa Jackie da ba ta wanzu yanzu, kuma a matsayin matashi yakan karanta jerin hotunan soyayya. "Duk labarun haduwar yaro da yarinya ne," in ji shi. Wani wallafe-wallafen da ya manne da shi shine Forever na Judy Blume, littafi mai gaskiya game da jima'i na matasa wanda aka yi wa censors tun lokacin da aka buga shi a 1975. Daga baya, a matsayin ɗalibin ɗan jarida a Oxford, Ali ya sami damar yin hira da Barbara Cartland, sarauniyar littattafan soyayya na takarda. "Ba wani babban abu ba ne da ya canza rayuwata," in ji shi, "amma yana da ban dariya a tunani yanzu."
Mai karatu mai kwazo, daga marubutan soyayya na tarihi na zamani kamar Tessa Dare da Evie Dunmore zuwa Jane Austen da Daphne du Maurier, Ali bai damu da suka cewa nau'in yana da tsari ba. Ko Shakespeare, in ji shi, yana gaya maka tun farko idan wasan da za ka kalla bala'i ne ko wasan barkwanci; na ƙarshe "zai ƙare da bikin aure, wataƙila fiye da ɗaya." "Tsari albarka ne kuma la'ana. La'ana ita ce idan an yi shi mara kyau, kowa ya yi hamma," in ji shi. "Amma idan an yi shi daidai, akwai sakamako mai yawa—lokutan duhu, ƙarshen farin ciki."
Ko da yake Ali yana farin cikin magana game da soyayya "duk ranar," yana lura cewa sauran masu karatu—maza da mata—na iya jin buƙatar yin ƙarya game da abin da suke karantawa don su yi kyau. Ya nuna wani lamari na binciken kasuwa: "Kowa yana cewa yana sauraron Radio 3 ko 4, amma a zahiri duk suna sauraron Radio 2, ko? Kuma ina tsammanin wannan rashin kwanciyar hankali matsala ce ta gaske."
Bayan karatun rubutun kirkire-kirkire a Jami'ar Kingston a shekarunsa na 40, Ali yanzu yana cikin ƙungiyoyin marubuta biyu, inda shi kaɗai ne ke rubuta soyayya. Tun daga nan ya rubuta jerin littattafan soyayya na tarihi guda uku, duk an saita su a Mayfair a ƙarshen zamanin Victoria. Na farko za a buga shi nan ba da jimawa ba, a ƙarƙashin sunan alkalami Ali Murphy – haɗa sunansa da sunan haihuwar matarsa.
"Na zaɓe shi a matsayin suna mai tsaka-tsakin jinsi," in ji shi. "Ba na ƙoƙarin yaudarar mutane. Amma ba na son kowa ya ɗauki littafin ya ce, ya Allah, wani saurayi ne ke rubuta soyayya."
Yayin da Ali da Andrew suka fi son soyayya ta al'ada, Paul da wasu maza da yawa masu sha'awar wani reshe da ba a san shi ba na nau'in. RFM galibi ana buga shi da kansa kuma ana sayar da shi ta hanyar dijital. Yana da mabiya masu muhimmanci: fiye da masu ziyara 10,000 na mako-mako zuwa Reddit ɗinsa na musamman, da kuma al'ummar Discord mai bunƙasa inda ake musayar shawarwarin littattafai da tattauna su. Masu sha'awa suna gargaɗi game da kowane ma'anar RFM guda ɗaya, amma sun yarda cewa wasu alamu suna maimaitawa. Yawanci ana rubuta shi daga hangen wani talaka wanda ƙaunarsa mace ce mai ƙarfi da ba a saba gani ba – juyar da ka'idojin labari kai tsaye a cikin soyayya ta al'ada, inda ake tsammanin jaruma ta kasance mai kusanci kuma jarumi a yi masa tatsuniya. Yawancin masu karatu suna nuna cewa babban rikicin a cikin RFM galibi na waje ne ga dangantakar ma'auratan, kamar yaƙi ko abokin gaba ɗaya, maimakon ya taso daga rashin fahimta ko kishi tsakanin manyan jaruman biyu. Akwai kuma doguwar muhawara game da almara "harem," inda namiji ɗaya ake haɗa shi da mata da yawa. Wasu suna ɗaukarsa babbar nasarar nau'in, yayin da wasu ba sa tunanin soyayya ce kwata-kwata.
Jonny Rogers ɗan shekara 33 yana aiki a fannin kuɗi. Yana karatu sosai, ya gama littattafai 90 a wannan shekara, kuma yana son komai daga Dostoevsky zuwa sanannen jerin RFM Would You Love a Monster Girl?, wanda ya gama cikin kwana shida. Kashi biyu bisa uku na abin da yake karantawa soyayya ce, yawancinsa RFM. "Na kalli Titanic lokacin da nake kusan 11 kuma ya motsa ni sosai," in ji shi. "Na san yana da ɗan ban dariya, amma ina son tunanin saduwa da wani da ƙauna kamar yadda Jack da Rose suka yi."
Yana son ƙarin wannan ji a shafi, Jonny ya ci karo da The Rosie Project, littafin Graeme Simsion game da wani mutum mai ban mamaki, mai yiwuwa autistic, da ke neman soyayya. "Ina tsammanin akwai wani dangantaka a can," in ji shi, yana bayyana cewa yana zargin yana kan bakan amma ba a gano shi ba. Shekaru bayan haka, wani aboki ya ba da shawarar A Court of Thorns and Roses na Sarah J Maas. Ya karanta shi cikin mako ɗaya, sannan ya sami hanyarsa zuwa RFM Reddit.
Duba hoto a cikakken allo
'Na ƙaunaci tunanin yin soyayya kamar yadda Jack da Rose suka yi.' Hoto: Photo Credit: Merie Weismiller Wallace/20th Century Fox/Allstar
Abin da ke sa shi mannewa ba kayan fantasy ba ne – yaƙin jiragen sama, mata mayaƙa masu amfani da sihiri – sai abin da ke ƙasa. "Ina son bin diddigin mutane biyu da suka ƙaunaci juna," in ji shi. "Shine mafi ɗan adam abu a duniya, kuma yana da sihiri sosai." Yana sha'awar littattafai da ke da jagororin mata da aka rubuta da ƙarfi, kuma ya dage cewa soyayya da aka rubuta da kyau kowa zai iya jin daɗinta. Budurwarsa ta ƙarfafa shi ya faɗaɗa wani ɗan gwajin rubutu zuwa wani abu mai tsawo. Wannan ya zama Daniel's Dilemma, littafi game da wani saurayi da ke ƙaunar mahaifiyar babban abokinsa, wanda al'ummar RFM suka karɓa da kyau. Ya zaɓi sunan alkalami Jonny Rogers ba don kunya ba, in ji shi, amma taka tsantsan: littafin yana ɗauke da wasu abubuwa bayyanannu, kuma "Ba na son kakata ko iyayena su sayi littafina su san na rubuta wannan fage."
Lokacin da ya karanta wa budurwarsa fagen kwanan wata tsakanin manyan jaruman biyu, ta tambaye shi: "Wannan yana da soyayya sosai. Me ya sa ba ka taɓa yin soyayya haka da ni ba?"
Abokan Jonny na kud da kud sun san game da shigarsa cikin rubutu. "Babu ɗayansu da ya saya shi a zahiri," in ji shi yana dariya. "Ina tsammanin lokacin da na gaya musu, suna tunanin batsa." Ko da yake ba a taɓa zalunce shi ko zagi shi don jin daɗin soyayya ba, ba bayani ba ne da yake bayarwa a wajen ƙungiyarsa ta kud da kud.
Ɗaya daga cikin marubutan da ake yawan ba da shawara na RFM shine DH Willison, ɗan shekara 58. An san shi da jerin Tales of Arvia, wanda aka saita a cikin duniyar fantasy inda dodanni da sauran halittu manyan jarumai ne, ba cikas ga mutane da za a shawo kansu ba, kuma haɗuwa da ba a saba gani ba—kamar harpy da ɗan kasada mara bege—suna ko'ina.
Willison yana jin ya sami ƙarin tsayin daka daga sauran marubuta fiye da masu karatu. A wata ƙungiyar marubuta, wani ya ambaci samun wani tsohon littafin soyayya na takarda kuma cikin farin ciki ya yayyaga shi layi-layi don tabbatar da yadda labarun soyayya suke muni, in ji shi. A wata ƙungiyar rubutu, an gaya masa cewa "ainihin" soyayya tana buƙatar manyan jaruman namiji da mace su dace da wasu matsayi masu tsauri, har zuwa ka'idojin nau'in kamar "tazarar shekaru," wanda kai tsaye ake ɗauka yana nufin wani dattijo. Akasin haka ake kira "tazarar shekaru mai juyawa." Willison yana tunanin bambancin "wani abin dariya ne." Irin wannan tunanin na jinsi, in ji shi, yana zama mai cika kansa idan ya yadu zuwa tallace-tallace: "Ina tsammanin soyayya ta kowa ce, amma idan kana rubutu da sayarwa da mata kawai a zuciya, to kana jan hankalin mata kawai."
Ɗayan, mafi girman ƙarshen bakan soyayya galibi yana nisantar jima'i daga shafi, tare da ƙarin ka'idoji bayyanannu. Mike Gayle da Bobby Palmer suna rubutu a wannan ƙarshen mafi adabi kuma suna bugawa da sunayensu.
Gayle, ɗan shekara 55, yana rubutu game da soyayya da dangantaka tun farkon littafinsa na 1998 My Legendary Girlfriend, game da wani saurayi da ke gwagwarmaya don shawo kan baƙin ciki. Ya lashe lambar yabo ta nasara ta musamman ta Ƙungiyar Marubutan Soyayya a 2021, ya zama namiji na farko da ya yi haka, yana haɗuwa da sunaye kamar Jilly Cooper da Joanna Trollope. "Na san wasu mata masu karatu da suke jin sabon iska karanta game da soyayya daga hangen namiji," in ji shi. "Yawan da ake fallasa mu ga hangen nesa daban-daban, yawan da muke gani cewa dukanmu na iya zama daidai."
Duba hoto a cikakken allo
'Ainihin soyayya ita ce kasancewa tare da yin aiki' … Mike Gayle. Hoto: Hodder & Stoughton
Tsawon shekaru, Gayle ya fi sha'awar rubutu game da abin da ke faruwa bayan ma'aurata sun haɗu, maimakon abin da ya kai ga haka—wanda shine abin da yawancin soyayya ke mayar da hankali akai. "Yana da fiye da jan hankali rubutu game da haɗuwa," in ji shi. "Amma ainihin soyayya ita ce kasancewa tare da yin aiki." Rubutunsa ya samo asali tare da rayuwarsa ta sirri. "Na kasance a shekaruna na 20, kuma ina sha'awar samun 'wanda ya dace.' Yanzu da na ga dangantaka ta wuce kuma an ɗauke ta a banza, ina so in rubuta game da wani abu mai zurfi da mahimmanci."
Littafin Gayle na gaba, Not Quite Myself, za a buga shi a 2027. An rubuta shi tare da matarsa, Claire, kuma yana bincika rayuwar ma'aurata da suka sami kansu an musanya jikinsu bayan ɗansu ƙarami ya tafi jami'a. "Yana da ban sha'awa duba wannan matakin rayuwa inda kawai abin da ke riƙe ma'auratan tare a matsayin haɗi shine cewa suna da yara a gida," in ji shi. "Yaya za ka fara ganin abokin tarayya a matsayin mutum daban kuma, daga sabon hangen nesa?"
Inda Gayle yanzu yake rubutu game da abin da ke faruwa bayan ƙarshen farin ciki, Palmer, ɗan shekara 33, yana juya tsammanin game da yadda ake ba da labarun soyayya da littafinsa na uku da aka buga kwanan nan, Main Characters. An ba da labarin gaba ɗaya ta mutanen da ke kewaye da ma'auratan tsakiya—amma ba ma'auratan kansu ba—don dangantakarsu ta kasance, kamar yadda ya ce, "wannan abu mai kyau, na sirri," inda masu karatu ba za su taɓa sanin kai tsaye abin da manyan jaruman suke tunani ko ji game da juna ba.
Hakanan—bambanci daga littattafansa na baya—ana tallata shi a matsayin soyayya a Burtaniya, da murfin ruwan hoda mai haske. Ya riga ya lura cewa maza kaɗan ne ke tuntuɓarsa game da shi fiye da sauran ayyukansa.
Asararsu ce, ba shakka, ko da yake ba kowane namiji ne ke buƙatar almara na soyayya don koya masa wani abu ba. Jonny, a nasa ɓangaren, ba ya tunanin ya siffata shi. "Na yi rayuwa cike da ƙauna," in ji shi. "Maimakon cewa littattafan soyayya sun siffata rayuwata, rayuwata ta cika da ƙauna sosai har ina jan hankalin su." An canza wasu sunaye. Kana da ra'ayi game da batutuwan da aka tada a wannan labarin? Idan kana so ka aika amsa har zuwa kalmomi 300 ta imel don a yi la'akari da ita don bugawa a sashen wasiƙunmu, don Allah danna nan.
Tambayoyin da ake yawan yi
Tambayoyin da ake yawan yi Maza da ke Karanta Littattafan Soyayya
1 Wait maza da gaske suna karanta littattafan soyayya
Ee Da yawa daga cikinsu suna yi Wasu ƙididdiga suna nuna maza suna da kusan 10-20% na masu karanta soyayya kuma wannan adadin na iya zama mafi girma tunda da yawa suna karanta ebooks ko kuma suna ɓoye shi
2 Me ya sa namiji zai karanta soyayya maimakon thrillers ko sci-fi
Don dalilai guda da kowa ke karanta soyayya dangantaka mai jan hankali zurfin motsin rai da ƙarshen farin ciki mai gamsarwa Jin daɗin labarun soyayya ba ya da alaƙa da jinsi
3 Menene 'Rayuwata cike take da ƙauna don haka ina jan hankalin su' ke nufi
Yana nufin mai karatu yana da rayuwa mai farin ciki da ƙauna - kuma littattafan soyayya suna jin kamar haɓakar hakan Ba ya karanta don cike wani fanko yana karanta abin da ya riga ya daraja
4 Shin gaskiya ne maza suna karanta soyayya don koyon dangantaka
Wasu suna yi Littattafan soyayya galibi suna nuna sadarwar motsin rai yarda da haɗin gwiwa kusa wanda zai iya zama da amfani da gaske ko da yake almara ne ba littattafan jagora ba
5 Shin maza sun fi son soyayya mai zafi ko soyayya mai daɗi
Dukansu Wasu suna karkata zuwa labarun bayyanannu wasu zuwa na sannu-sannu ko na kirki Ɗanɗano ya bambanta kamar yadda yake tsakanin mata
6 Wadanne rassa na musamman maza suka fi jin daɗi
Abubuwan da aka fi so sun haɗa da soyayyar suspense soyayyar tarihi romcoms da soyayyar fantasy Amma babu wata doka da yawa suna karanta na zamani da na LGBTQ ma
7 Me ya sa wasu maza suke ɓoye cewa suna karanta soyayya
Wulakanci Ana tallata soyayya a matsayin almara na mata don haka wasu maza suna damuwa game da yin ba'a da su Da yawa suna karantawa a kan ereaders ko kuma suna yin shiru saboda haka
8 Wadanne amfani maza suke samu daga karanta soyayya
Tserewar motsin rai rage damuwa ƙarin fahimtar ji da dangantaka da kuma - kamar kowane karatu - ingantaccen tausayi da ƙamus
9 Shin akwai wata illa
Sai idan wani ya yi tsammanin almara ta dace da rayuwa ta gaske daidai Ana ƙawata soyayya da gangan don haka ɗaukar ta a matsayin jerin abubuwan da ake buƙata ga abokan tarayya na gaske na iya haifar da rashin jin daɗi
10 Yaya zan fara karanta soyayya idan sabo ne a gare ni
Zaɓi wani reshe da kake so a wani wuri idan kana son thrillers gwada soyayyar suspense idan kana son fantasy gwada soyayyar fantasy Nemi shawarwari kan layi ko a kantin littattafai
