A cikin wani bidiyo na TikTok da Katie Whitney ta buga, wadda ke da mabiya miliyan 2.5, ta kalli kyamara kai tsaye ta ce a sarari: "Wannan bidiyo na Cynthia Erivo ne. Idan ba Cynthia Erivo ba... kina iya ci gaba da zazzagewa." Sa'an nan yanayin muryarta ya canja, muryarta ta yi laushi—kamar yadda mutum zai yi magana da karensa: "Sannu Cynthia. Sannu baby. Hey baby. Yaya kike?" Yana da wuya a kalla—ko, kamar yadda mutane ke cewa yanzu, abin kunya. Wani mai sharhi ya ce, "Ina jin an yi mini rauni." Wasu suna raba hotunan Erivo da ta yi mamaki suna tunani, "Idan tauraruwar Wicked ta ga wannan bidiyon?" Abin kunya!
Yanzu tana da shekara 25, Whitney ta fara yin irin wannan abun ciki—"wasannin ban mamaki"—tana da shekara 20. Tana cikin abin da ake kira CringeTok a yanar gizo, wani lungu na intanet da ke mai da hankali kan abubuwan da ke ba da kunya. Ta hanyoyi da yawa, martani ne ga tsoron zama "abin kunya," wanda ke yaduwa zuwa dukkan sassan rayuwa—daga kafofin sada zumunta zuwa ajujuwa zuwa wuraren aiki.
Kunya ba sabon abu ba ne, kuma wasan kwaikwayo yana jin daɗin kunyar wasu shekaru da yawa, daga Fawlty Towers zuwa Curb Your Enthusiasm, The Office zuwa Amandaland. Amma wasu kwararrun lafiyar kwakwalwa suna ganin abin kunya a matsayin wani sabon nau'in kunya. Yanzu ya zama ruwan dare gama jami’an ilimi suna nazarinsa, suna tattaunawa akai, suna baƙin ciki, kuma—mafi muhimmanci—suna zarginsa da dalilin da yasa mutane da yawa, musamman matasa, ba sa rayuwa cikakkiya.
A cewar wani kuri'a na Yahoo/YouGov a wannan shekara, tsoron zama abin kunya ya hana fiye da rabin Gen Z (waɗanda aka haifa tsakanin tsakiyar 1990s da farkon 2010s) bayyana kansu cikin 'yanci a yanar gizo. Kuma kashi 55% na waɗanda aka bincika sun ce hakan ya hana su buɗe zuciyarsu. Farfesa na Jami'ar New York kuma marubuci Ocean Vuong ya nuna damuwa cewa ɗalibansa suna "ƙara yin taka tsantsan game da ƙoƙari." A cikin wata hira da ABC News, ya ce: "Akwai al'adun sa ido game da kafofin sada zumunta. Kuma za su ce: 'Ina so in zama mawaƙi, ina so in zama marubuci nagari, amma abin kunya ne kadan'... Wannan 'al'adun kunya' shine 'Ba na son a gan ni ina ƙoƙari da ba da himma ga mafarkina.'"
Boomer yana cewa wani yana da 'rizz' ko 'delulu' ba tare da izgili ba? Abin kunya.
To menene "cringe"? A cewar Roger Giner-Sorolla, farfesa na ilimin zamantakewa a Jami'ar Kent, ya zama kalmar banza don jin "kunya ta wakilci." Wannan, in ji shi, yana sanya wanda ya yi wani abu mai kunya ko ma abin kunya na ɗabi'a "a ƙarƙashin ra'ayin mutane mara kyau." Mark Beal, farfesa na sadarwa a Jami'ar Rutgers wanda ya rubuta littattafai da yawa game da Gen Z, zai "saka shi a cikin kwandon jin kunya, jin kunya, jin 'rashin kyau.'"
Wani muhimmin sashi na "cringe" shine rashin sanin kai. "Ma'anar cringe shine cewa idan kana da sanin kai, za ka gane cewa wannan yana nuna ka a mummunan hali," in ji Giner-Sorolla. "Kyakkyawan misali," in ji Dean Burnett, masanin kimiyyar jijiya na Cardiff, "shine lokacin da tsofaffin tsara ke ƙoƙarin shiga cikin abubuwan da matasa ke yi—wannan abin kunya ne." Kamar boomer yana cewa wani yana da "rizz" ko "delulu" ba tare da izgili ba. Aikin "ƙoƙarin yin wani abu da kasawa, amma ba sanin kana kasawa ba."
Jerin abubuwan da Gen Z ke ganin abin kunya yana da yawa: gaskiya, ƙoƙari da yawa, himma—duk wani hali da ba na rashin damuwa ba. Amma, a cikin sabani, kuma rashin gaskiya. Sa'an nan babban abu shine millennials—kusan duk abin da suke yi, suke faɗa, suke tunani, ko suke sawa. Wando na skinny, emoji na kuka-dariya, "dakatarwar millennial," safa na horo, da ambaton gidan Harry Potter da za su kasance.
Natalie Soibatian, 24, mai kula da gogewar baƙi...Wani mai kula da kayan tarihi a Amurka ya yi bidiyon TikTok a bara game da damuwarsa cewa zama "cringe" yana "gurgunta tsararraki gaba ɗaya." Ta taɓa jin an hana ta ta tsoron zama abin kunya? "Tabbas," in ji ta.
Ta tuna zuwa wani kulob a Los Angeles shekaru da yawa da suka wuce inda, in ji ta, "Babu wanda yake rawa." Ba haka take tunanin rayuwar dare zata kasance ba lokacin da take girma, amma ta fahimta. Ga tsarar da ke jin ana kallonta koyaushe, ta bayyana, "Tsoron ganewa da kuma fahimta ne." Ita kanta ba ta tsira daga wannan ba kuma ta kasance tana jin haka: "Kana kallon abokanka," in ji ta. "Shin suna shiga?"
"Kowa yana tsoron a yi rikodin shi," in ji ta. "Ko dai gwanintar rawarsu ko kuma kawai shiga da yin wauta, ba wanda yake son shiga sai wani ya fara, kuma ba wanda yake son farawa kuma."
Mai ƙirƙirar kayan ado a yanar gizo, Soibatian kuma tana ganin tsoron zama abin kunya a matsayin dalilin da ke bayan zaɓin salon da ta lura a cikin mutanen da ke kusa da ita. "Mutane sun fi ƙarancin gwada salon su," in ji ta. Yana da sauƙi a ga dalili—ko da ga tsofaffi, duba hotunan zaɓin salon da suka yi a shekarun su na ashirin na iya zama abin kunya sosai. Ka yi tunanin idan waɗannan tube tops da blue mascara masu shakku suna kan layi, ana iya gani ga kowa har abada.
Beal ya kwatanta kwarewar Gen Z da fim ɗin The Truman Show. Sai dai ba Truman kaɗai ne rayuwarsa a kan nuni ba—kusan kowa ne. Amma ba kamar Truman na Jim Carrey ba, wanda bai san shi ne tauraruwar wasan kwaikwayo na gaskiya game da rayuwarsa ba, Gen Z yana sane da shi sosai. "Su ne tsarar farko da, tun suna ƙanana, suka shiga shafuka kamar Snapchat, TikTok, da Instagram, inda kowane matsayi, kowane kallo, kowane murmushi ana yin hukunci akai ko kuma yana jin haka."
Kuma wannan ba matsala ce kawai ga mutane da miliyoyin mabiya ba. Soibatian tana da 'yan mabiya ɗari kuma har yanzu tana fama da tunanin cewa mutanen da ta san da kansu za su ga abubuwan da ta buga. "Ina tsammanin koyaushe zai zama kamar wani yana kallon kafaɗata," in ji ta.
Ga wasu, samun mabiya da yawa yana sauƙaƙa. "Ya fi mini wuya lokacin da nake da ƙaramin dandali, saboda sharhi da hulɗa sun fi na sirri," in ji Whitney, wadda ta fara buga bidiyon YouTube na kanta tana da shekara takwas. Ta lura da canji lokacin da ta kai kusan mabiya miliyan ɗaya. "Lokacin da ka kai waɗannan lambobin, duk yana ɓacewa," in ji ta. "Yana jin nesa da ni fiye da lokacin da nake da ƙaramin mabiya na sirri, inda na gane wasu mutane suna yin sharhi da dawowa, kuma yana jin kamar al'umma. Amma yanzu da nake a wannan girman, yana juyowa daga gare ni kadan."
Ba a gina mutane ta hanyar tunani don ɗaukar hukuncin mutane da yawa ba. "A ilimin halitta ko al'ada, mun dace da rayuwa a cikin ƙananan ƙungiyoyi," in ji Giner-Sorolla. "Ba mu dace da samun miliyoyin idanu a kanmu ba." Lokacin da muke rayuwa a cikin ƙananan al'ummomin da ba na layi ba, za mu iya daidaita don dacewa da waɗanda ke kusa da mu—ko zaɓi kada mu yi. "Amma lokacin da kake da ba kawai miliyoyin idanu ba, amma ma'auni daban-daban 1,000 da al'adu daban-daban 1,000 suna yin hukunci a kanka, wannan na iya zama mai ban tsoro sosai."
Tazarar tsakanin kanka na layi da na waje kuma na iya zama tushen abin kunya. "Bayanan martaba kai ne ta wata hanya," in ji Whitney. A gare ta, idan ka gina hoton "mutum mai kyau" a hankali a yanar gizo, yana da "mafi tsoro don fita zuwa kide-kide, gigs, gidajen abinci, ko kwanan wata kuma kawai ka zama kanka, saboda koyaushe akwai haɗarin cewa wani yana da waya..." Kamar akwai maɓallin ja mai walƙiya koyaushe, tare da mutane suna yin rikodin ka koyaushe. Ta ce yana iya shafar wasu mutane sosai har "kusan ba ka jin lafiya fita waje." Yana da tsoro zuwa gigs, gidajen abinci, ko kwanan wata kuma kawai ka zama kanka.
Abin da ake ɗauka a matsayin abin kunya ko a'a ya dogara da wanda kake magana da shi. "Duk daga ra'ayinka ne," in ji Giner-Sorolla. "Kamar kana da waɗannan dokoki game da yadda mutum ya kamata ya yi, yadda mutum ya kamata ya kasance mai kyau." Lokacin da Stefania Marzelia mai shekara 26 ta fara buga labarai game da fara kamfanin kofi, Sips, a Chicago, ta lura da wani rubutu daga wani daga garinsu. Sharhin ya ce wani abu kamar: "Ya Allah, akwai wannan yarinya daga makarantar sakandare tana buga abubuwan barista. Yana da kunya sosai, yana da abin kunya." Ta tuna tana jin kunya kanta tana tunani, "Bai kamata in yi wannan ba."
Amma sai ta canja ra'ayinta. "Lokacin da mutane ba sa bin al'ada, ko kuma suka sanya zuciyarsu cikin wani abu da suka ƙirƙira... Ina tsammanin Gen Z yana da sauri don tsalle a kan hakan kuma ya kira shi abin kunya."
Marzelia, wadda ke da kusan mabiya 600,000 a TikTok, tana da fallasa sosai. "Yanzu muna da alaƙa da tunanin kowa, ji, da damuwa." Akwai kuma tsoron zama sananne don wani abu ba da gangan ba. "Za ka iya zama abin dariya ga miliyoyin mutane da rubutu ɗaya kawai," in ji Giner-Sorolla.
Georgie Gee, masanin ilimin halayyar yara a London, ta ce kafin intanet, "an kafa ainihi ta hanyar zama tare da mutanen da kake so, kuma ka gane da dabi'unsu." Yanzu, in ji ta, "akwai muryoyi daban-daban da yawa... idan an fallasa ka ga hakan tun daga ƙanana, yana iya tsoma baki tare da ci gaban ainihin matashi na al'ada."
To shin Gen Z zai iya shawo kan tsoron abin kunya? A cewar Giner-Sorolla, hanyar tsira ita ce "taƙaita hankalinka... sami rukunin mutane da za ka iya zama na gaskiya tare da su, kuma ko da wasu suna ganin gaskiyarka abin kunya ne, aƙalla kana da mutanenka." Burnett ya yarda. "Samun alaƙa, samun abokai, samun mutanen da za ka iya danganta da su da rabawa—wannan yana da kyau ga kwakwalwa," in ji shi. Game da dubban alaƙar yanar gizo? "Wannan ba lafiya ba ne, kuma wannan shine abin da nake ganin yana hana mutane." Yayin da kowa zai amfana da samun al'umma, in ji shi, "ba kowa ke amfana daga masu sauraro ba."
Gee ta ba da shawarar tambayar ko wacece muryar da ke cikin kanka, wadda ke gargadin ka kada ka yi wani abu don tsoron zama abin kunya. Da kyau tare da taimakon mai ilimin halayyar kirki, duba wannan ɓangaren hukunci da cin zarafi kuma fara ƙalubalantarsa. Ta kuma ce za a iya samun ta'aziyya a cikin ra'ayin cewa "ba mu zama abin da aka ƙayyade ba—wannan jin dadi ne, ko ba haka ba? Kuma cewa muna koya ta hanyar kurakuranmu, muna girma da haɓaka."
Wata hanya mafi bayyane ga waɗanda ke jin an makale a yanar gizo na iya zama fita—ko aƙalla rage aiki. Beal ya ji daga ɗalibansa cewa shirin detox na dijital na kwana ɗaya wani lokaci ya zama "hutu daga abun ciki" na mako ko wata. Ya ba da shawarar "nesa daga waccan wayar gaba ɗaya, kuma kawai tafiya, tafiya, bincika rayuwa." Whitney tana kiran wannan a cikin ƙarin kalmomin banza na shekaru ashirin a matsayin "taba ciyawa."
Sa'a, da alama akwai canji zuwa maido da kyawun himma. Ga Giner-Sorolla, yana iya zama game da zaɓar "abun sha'awarka—wannan kansa yana da kyau." Burnett ya ce: "Yana da mahimmanci mutane su iya faɗa, 'Duba, wannan shine abin da nake so, wannan shine abin da nake jin daɗi,' kuma a wani lokaci dole ne ka sanya bukatunka, sha'awarka, lafiyarka a gaban na wasu." Akwai kuma 'yanci a cikin zama abin kunya a fili—wani abu da Whitney ta gano. A yanar gizo, wani ra'ayi mai suna "hawan dutsen abin kunya" ya zama sananne. Jaridar New York Times ta bayyana shi a matsayin "wani ɓangare na girma da ba za a iya gujewa ba ga Gen Z, waɗanda aka rubuta dukan rayuwarsu—har ma da lokutan kunya—a yanar gizo." Akwai ma wani taken-mantra: "Zama abin kunya shine zama 'yanci," wanda aka ɗauka a matsayin kiran taro. Kamar yadda Marzelia ta ce: "Duniya tana buɗe maka da zarar ka wuce abin kunya."
Lokacin da Whitney ta fara buga abun cikinta na abin kunya, ta ce yana jin kamar an ɗaga nauyi. "Ya kasance kamar, 'Oh, wa ya damu, yanzu yana can, yana can... yanzu kawai ina yin duk abin da nake so.'"
Ga Soibatian, ta sami hanyar sake tsara abubuwa waɗanda za su iya taimaka wa duk wanda ya makale a gindin dutsen abin kunya. "Idan wani yana yin hukunci a fili ga wani don yin wani abu da suke ganin abin kunya, wannan, a gare ni, abin kunya ne."
Tambayoyi da Amsoshi
Ga jerin tambayoyin da ake yawan yi game da labarin Za a iya yi maka dariya da miliyoyi: Shin Gen Z zai iya shawo kan tsoron zama abin kunya? wanda aka rubuta cikin yanayi na halitta tare da amsoshi kai tsaye
Tambayoyi na Matakin Farko
1 Menene ma'anar cringe a zahiri a cikin wannan mahallin
Cringe shine wannan kunyar da kake ji lokacin da wani ya yi wani abu mai ban kunya, mai himma sosai, ko kuma yayi ƙoƙari ya zama mai kyau A al'adun Gen Z, shine babban laifin zamantakewa—tsoron zama mara kyau
2 Me yasa Gen Z ke tsoron zama abin kunya haka
Domin sun girma a yanar gizo Kowane lokaci mai ban kunya ana iya yin rikodin shi, ɗaukar hoto, da rabawa ga miliyoyi Intanet ba ya mantawa, don haka haɗarin wulakanci na zamantakewa yana da girma
3 Shin zama abin kunya koyaushe abu ne mara kyau
A'a Labarin yana jayayya cewa zama abin kunya sau da yawa yana nufin kana da gaskiya, gwada sabon abu, ko bayyana kanka ba tare da tsoro ba Yawancin mutane masu ƙirƙira da nasara sun fara da zama abin kunya
4 Za ka iya ba ni misali mai sauƙi na halin abin kunya
Buga bidiyon rawa mai himma mara kyau a TikTok tare da haske mara kyau da waƙa mai ban dariya Yana da rauni—ba cikakke ba—kuma wannan shine abin da ke sa mutane su yi wince
5 Yaya tsoron zama abin kunya ke hana mutane
Yana hana su buga abubuwa, yin magana, gwada sabbin abubuwan sha'awa, ko raba ra'ayoyinsu na gaskiya Sun gwammace su yi shiru fiye da yin haɗarin zama wauta
Tambayoyi na Matsakaici da Ci gaba
6 Shin tsoron zama abin kunya matsala ce ta musamman ga Gen Z ko kuma ta kasance koyaushe
Ta kasance koyaushe amma girman sabo ne Kafin za a yi maka dariya a aji ko garinka Yanzu za a yi maka dariya da miliyoyi a yanar gizo Wannan yana ƙara tsoron sosai
7 Menene bambanci tsakanin abin kunya da kawai rashin kyau a wani abu
Cringe yana game da rashin jin daɗi na zamantakewa da rashin daidaituwa tsakanin ƙoƙari da sakamako Rashin kyau a wani abu ba abin kunya ba ne idan kana da tawali'u Cringe yana faruwa lokacin da kake ƙoƙari sosai don zama mai kyau kuma kana kasawa
8 Ta yaya Gen Z zai iya shawo kan wannan tsoron a zahiri
Ta hanyar yin fallasa ga abin kunya Fara da ƙanana
