The crowd sweats under a red and gold awning, but Granny Wang has them hooked. Hundreds of people pack the space in front of the 62-year-old’s small stage, spilling onto the wooden bleachers above, all gathered to watch Zhao Mei—her real name—play matchmaker for young men and women at her daily show in a theme park in Kaifeng, an ancient city in central China’s Henan province.
One man steps forward to be set up, telling Zhao that a past relationship failed because he didn’t have enough time. “Now that you’ve met your ideal partner here, you’ll make the time,” she reassures him, drawing cheers from the crowd.
Zhao has played Granny Wang for eight years but only introduced the matchmaking segment in 2023—a move that made her famous online. Last year, her following on Douyin (China’s version of TikTok) skyrocketed from a few hundred thousand to over 7 million. Some call her “China’s Cilla Black,” after the late host of the British dating show Blind Date. But with fans arriving hours early and braving the August heat for a front-row seat to her lively, slightly theatrical performance, she could just as well be Henan’s Madonna.
Most of the audience consists of families entertaining their kids during summer break, but about one in five are there looking for love. “I just don’t want to stay single,” said 18-year-old Wang Mengjia after an unsuccessful turn on stage.
Zhao has revived the role of the traditional village matchmaker, a fading profession as more people meet online or through friends—or not at all. While China’s “love industry” grows, with matchmaking services from both government and businesses, finding love in cities is becoming harder as marriage loses its appeal.
Despite Zhao’s packed shows, China’s marriage rates have hit record lows—a trend now treated as a national crisis. Last year, registered marriages dropped by 20%, falling to just over 6 million, down from 7.7 million in 2023. Compared to a decade ago, the number of couples marrying each year has halved.
The trend is especially strong among urban, educated women. Over 40% of city-dwelling women aged 25 to 29 have never married, up from just 9% in 2000, according to sociology professor Wang Feng.
Part of the decline is due to China’s aging population. Decades of the one-child policy (ended in 2016) shrank the pool of marriage-age adults. But experts say demographics alone don’t explain the shift.
“The deeper change is in attitudes,” said Lijia Zhang, a writer working on a book about marriage in China. “In the past, when China was poor, marriage was an economic necessity. Now it’s about personal happiness—not duty or obligation. Many urban, educated women no longer see marriage or motherhood as essential to a fulfilling life.”
Nineteen-year-old Hao Jingyi agrees. “If I don’t meet the right person, staying single means more freedom and comfort,” she said, standing with her mother at the show. “Women today are increasingly disappointed with men.”Living alone… women are increasingly disappointed with men these days,” she said as she waited for Zhao’s show to begin.
The Chinese government hopes to change her mind. President Xi Jinping has urged women to “actively foster a new culture of marriage and childbearing” while promoting more traditional, patriarchal values.
Granny Wang tries to play matchmaker—but despite the enthusiasm for her show, China’s marriage rates continue to drop sharply.
China’s leadership opposes singlehood on ideological grounds, and officials have a practical concern: declining birthrates. Even couples are increasingly choosing not to have children, as young people—especially women—worry about the high costs and competitive pressures of raising kids. Last year, China’s birthrate was just 6.77 births per 1,000 people, a slight rise from 2023’s record low of 6.39 but still far below the numbers from a decade ago.
Authorities have introduced numerous policies at national and local levels to encourage marriage and childbirth. This year, the government launched an annual childcare subsidy of 3,600 yuan (£370) for children under three, and some provinces offer bonuses or extra leave for newlyweds. But many women say it’s not enough.
Beyond practical concerns, other factors are driving these trends. In July, Chinese social media briefly buzzed with reports of Telegram chat groups where tens of thousands of men allegedly shared non-consensual explicit images of women in the “MaskPark tree hole forum.” Women were furious, feeling authorities hadn’t done enough to protect them from harassment.
The reluctance to marry is especially noticeable among young, educated urban women—despite Granny Wang’s efforts.
Filmmaker Violet Du Feng, whose documentary The Dating Game follows men in a dating camp, says the gender divide is growing. She believes the one-child policy’s imbalance—China now has over 30 million more men than women—has fueled dissatisfaction with gender equality.
While feminist activism was once quietly tolerated, the Communist Party has cracked down on civil society in recent years, leaving little room to protest issues like sexual harassment. “In a more democratic society, you can challenge those in power,” Feng said. “But in China, you can’t. So people just turn on each other, creating even deeper hostility between men and women.”
Feng recalls that when she was born in 1979, her mother had access to free, full-time childcare by the time she was two months old. But when Feng had her own daughter in 2014, “there was nothing.”
It’s not just women feeling the pressure to marry. Zhang Hongguang, 21, from Shandong, attended Zhao’s event with his sister, who convinced him to rent costumes for the occasion. The next day, however, he had to return home for a reluctant blind date arranged by his parents, who had paid a matchmaker. “I don’t like it, but it’s the only way my parents know,” he said, adding he’d rather stay home with his cat.
His sister, Zhang Hongqian, a 24-year-old pilates instructor, has also been pressured into multiple blind dates.She had several unsuccessful blind dates set up by her parents. “I’m not in a hurry to find a partner,” she said. “If I can avoid marriage, I’d rather stay single.”
Additional research by Lillian Yang
FAQS
### **FAQs About “Now It’s All About Personal Happiness”: China’s ‘Granny Wang’ Matchmaking Show & Declining Marriage Rates**
#### **Basic Questions**
**1. What is the ‘Granny Wang’ show about?**
It’s a popular Chinese matchmaking show where a grandmotherly figure, “Granny Wang,” helps singles find partners, reflecting changing attitudes toward marriage in China.
**2. Why is China’s marriage rate declining?**
Factors include high living costs, career pressures, shifting values, and gender equality debates.
**3. What does “personal happiness over marriage” mean?**
It means many young Chinese now prioritize self-fulfillment, financial independence, and freedom over societal pressure to marry.
**4. Is this trend only happening in China?**
No, many developed countries see similar trends due to urbanization and changing social values.
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#### **Deeper Questions**
**5. How does ‘Granny Wang’ reflect modern dating struggles?**
The show highlights mismatched expectations—some want traditional marriages, while others seek equal partnerships or avoid marriage altogether.
**6. Are parents in China still pushing for marriage?**
Many do, but younger generations resist due to financial stress and desire for autonomy.
**7. What economic factors discourage marriage in China?**
High housing costs, competitive job markets, and raising children’s expenses make marriage less appealing.
**8. Are women driving this change more than men?**
Yes, educated women increasingly reject traditional roles, seeking careers and equality instead of rushed marriages.
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#### **Practical & Cultural Questions**
**9. Can matchmaking shows like ‘Granny Wang’ really help?**
They spark discussion, but many young viewers see them as entertainment rather than real solutions.
**10. How do older generations react to this shift?**
Many are concerned, fearing declining birth rates and loneliness, but some accept their children’s choices.
**11. Will China’s government intervene to boost marriages?**
It’s trying, but deep societal changes are hard to reverse.
**12. What’s the future of marriage in China?**
Likely more delayed or optional marriages, with cohabitation and single lifestyles becoming normalized
