Ana kirga kuri'u, kuma kafafen yada labarai sun taru don lokacin da Andy Burnham—da idanunsa kan Downing Street—za a zabe shi a matsayin dan majalisa na Makerfield a Greater Manchester. Amma Nick the Flying Brick, dan takara akai-akai na jam'iyyar Monster Raving Loony, ya kasa hana kansa shagala. Ta yaya zai yiwu dan takaran da ke gefen Edge Conference Centre, sanye da kwandon azurfa a kansa, ya sami nade-nade goma na gida da ake bukata don tsayawa?
Flying Brick, wanda ainihin sunansa Nick Delves, mai shekaru 60, kuma wanda kuma yake aiki a matsayin ma'ajin jam'iyyar Loony, ya buga kofofi da yawa don samun nade-nade ga tsohon dan takararsa, Howling Laud Hope. Duk da haka, Flying Brick bai ga kowa a kan tituna da kwando a kansa ba. Tabbas ba a kwanakin nan ba. Ko daya.
Menene labarin? Tare da abokin aikin jam'iyyar Loony, Ravin Rodent (mai kula da marasa lafiya da rana), Flying Brick ya tunkari mutumin azurfa mai ban mamaki a gefen teburin.
"Shi mutum ne mai son kansa, kuma yakan zama dan ban mamaki idan ka yi amfani da ainihin sunansa," in ji Flying Brick game da Count Binface. "Ya gaya mani ya sami wani a Makerfield da zai gyara shi. Mun yi magana na kusan mintuna 10. Babu wanda ya taba ganinsa ba tare da kwandon a kansa ba, kuma na'urar sanyaya iska ta taron ta lalace, don haka dole ya yi zafi sosai. Sai na tambaye shi ko zan iya daukar hoto tare da shi."
Abin da ya biyo baya ya tayar da Flying Brick. "Ya tambaye mu me za mu yi da shi," in ji shi. "Muka ce za mu saka shi a gidan yanar gizon mu, sai ya ce, 'A'a, a'a.' Ya ce zai kai kara idan muka dauki hoto."
"Ina tsammanin watakila rabin wasa yake yi? Ya kasance rabin cikin hali, rabin fita. Yana kallon kyamarori, don haka muka dauki hoto duk da haka—ba shi da kyau, a gaskiya. Amma yana gudanar da aiki sosai. Dole ne mu cire huluna: ya fi mu haske."
Dubi hoto a cikakken allo: Count Binface yana magana da kafafen yada labarai yayin kirga kuri'un zaben Makerfield. Hoton: Adam Vaughan/EPA
Mutane da yawa sun yanke shawara tun da da cewa siyasar Birtaniya ba za ta iya zama mafi wauta ba, amma a wannan makon Nigel Farage ya yi murabus a matsayin dan majalisa na Clacton don tsayawa takara... a kujerar Clacton. Dalilinsa shi ne cewa ya kamata mazabar, ba kwamishinan majalisa na ka'idoji ba, ta yanke shawara ko ya yi wani abu ba daidai ba ta hanyar rashin bayyana kyautar fam miliyan 5 daga hamshakin attajirin cryptocurrency Christopher Harborne da kudade daga mai zamba George Cottrell don ma'aikatansa, tsaro, da gidansa.
"Wannan zai zama zaben mutane da gwamnati," in ji shugaban Reform UK, kafin wani sabon juyi. Bayan sauran manyan jam'iyyun sun ce ba za su tsaya a zaben "dabara" ba, Count Binface ya fitar da sanarwa: "Zan zama dan takara na hadin kai kuma na yi alkawarin gina akalla gida daya mai araha. Nigel Farage ya ce yana son 'mutane da gwamnati.' To, ya zama haka. Ku bar shi gare ni."
Shin Binface shine sabon Martin Bell—mutumin da ke sanye da farar riga wanda ya tsaya a 1997 don duk abubuwan da suke da hankali da nagarta a mazabar Tatton a kan dan majalisa na Tory Neil Hamilton mai kunya? Shin mutumin da ke cikin abin rufe fuska shine jarumin da kasar ke bukata, ko da ba ta cancanta ba?
Wataƙila ba haka ba. Binface bai so ya yi magana da Guardian ba sai dai idan yana cikin halinsa. Jam'iyyar Monster Raving Loony tana cikin wadanda ke shirin gabatar da wasu 'yan takara masu ban mamaki da sunaye. "Domin muna iya," in ji shugabansu, Howling Laud Hope.
Amma Binface, wanda ainihin sunansa Jon Harvey, ya zama abin so na kafafen yada labarai tun daga Talata, yana jin dadin lokacin haskakawa don yin magana game da manufofinsa na mayar da mawakiyar Adele mallakar gwamnati da kuma kayyade farashin croissants a fam 1.
Manufar Harvey ita ce samun manufofin da za su ba da dariya amma watakila su sa masu jefa kuri'a su yi tunani. Ko da Daily Mail, mai goyon bayan jam'iyyar Farage mai adawa da shige da fice, ta kasa yin wasa kadan. "Farage: Zaben Binface yana da matukar muhimmanci," shi ne taken shafin farko a ranar Alhamis. Wata rana, wani ra'ayi a cikin jaridar yana da taken: "Farage yana koyon cewa lokacin da masu jefa kuri'a suke yi maka ihu, yana da muni. Lokacin da suke yi maka dariya, ya kare."
Akwai sha'awar kasa da kasa ma. A Faransa, ana kiransa Count Trash-Head, kuma a Spain, ana kiransa Count Trash-Can.
Wataƙila ba haka Farage ya yi tsammanin abubuwa za su kasance ba. Raheem Kassam, tsohon mai ba Farage shawara wanda ya bayyana kansa a matsayin dan jarida, ya zama mai bincike kan dan takara mai ban mamaki.
"Duk wannan magana game da Count Binface ya sa na bincika wanene wannan mutumin da gaske," in ji shi, yana ba da labarin babban bayyanarsa. "Jonathan David Harvey – wanda ke yin rayuwa ta hanyar samar da shirye-shiryen ban dariya na BBC – dan Oxbridge mai sassaucin ra'ayi ne mai shekaru da yawa na kalaman adawa da Brexit, adawa da Trump, da adawa da Birtaniya a Twitter."
Ba wai Kassam ba ya jin dadin dariya kamar kowa ba. "Kada ku yi kuskure, ina tsammanin Binface hali ne mai ban dariya, kuma Harvey a fili mai zane-zane ne," in ji shi. "Amma yin riya cewa shi kawai wani mutum ne a cikin riga yana dariya ba gaskiya ba ne."
Al'adar 'yan takara masu ban mamaki a Birtaniya ta fara ne da Laftanar Kwamanda Bill Boaks, gwarzon yaki da aka yi wa ado sosai. Daga zaben 1951 zuwa gaba, ya tsaya a kuri'u 28 da suka mayar da hankali kan lafiyar hanya kawai, yana tafiya a kan keken da aka gyara sosai wanda ke cike da manyan taken.
Amma David Sutch, wanda aka fi sani da Screaming Lord Sutch, shi ne ya mayar da rawar ta zama nasa. Ya fara tsayawa a shekarun 1960 a zaben da aka yi bayan murabus din John Profumo bayan sanannen badakalar jima'i da 'yan leken asiri. Sa'an nan, a farkon shekarun 1980, ya kafa jam'iyyar Monster Raving Loony, yana yin ba'a ga ajin siyasa yayin da yake ba da shawarwari masu ban mamaki amma masu ban sha'awa.
A cewar wani aboki, Harvey – wanda mahaifinsa ya buga ganguna a cikin rukuni daya da Sutch – ya yi imanin cewa shi ne magajin halitta. Akwai kamanceceniya. Sutch, wanda ya kashe kansa a 1999, bai yi karatun gargajiya a Oxford kamar Harvey ba, kuma ya kasance mai nuna wasa fiye da mai ban dariya. Amma kamar Harvey, yana da bala'i a tarihinsa.
Sutch yana da watanni 10 kacal lokacin da mahaifinsa, dan sanda mai ajiyar yaki, ya mutu a wani hatsari. Harvey, mai shekaru 46, daga Croydon, ya yi magana game da zama a gidaje 11 daban-daban a cikin shekarunsa 11 na farko, a cikin hargitsin da shaye-shayen mahaifinsa ya haifar. Ya bayyana mahaifinsa, wani ma'aikacin gidaje wanda ya mutu a 2005 yana da shekaru 57, a matsayin "Jekyll da Hyde wanda Strongbow ya tallafa."
A 2015, Harvey ya gano gawar babban yayansa, Dan, mai shekaru 43, a gidansa na London. Yana da kiba kuma yana da ciwon sukari da ba a gano ba, ya fada cikin suma ta hypoglycemic. Harvey ya rubuta littafi game da jurewa bakin cikinsa ta hanyar wasanni – sha'awar da ya raba da yayansa, wanda tokar sa ta warwatse a wajen filin wasa na London a Queen Elizabeth Olympic Park.
Bayan shekaru biyu, Harvey – wanda ya auri 'yar wasan kwaikwayo Sarah Daykin – ya fara aikinsa na siyasa, ba a matsayin Binface ba amma a matsayin hali mai tarihi Lord Buckethead.
Ya fara ne lokacin da Harvey ya kalli VHS tare da aboki a Oxford na wani fim mai suna **Gremloids**, wanda ya nuna wani hali mai kama da Darth Vader. Daga baya suka koyi cewa wani dan kasuwa mai suna Mike Lee, wanda ya sayi haƙƙin bidiyo na fim din, ya tsaya a 1987 sanye da tufafin Lord Buckethead a kan Margaret Thatcher a mazabarta ta Finchley. Lee yana fatan sayar da wasu bidiyoyi.
Shekaru 20 bayan haka, lokacin da Theresa May ta kira babban zabe don aiwatar da yarjejeniyar Brexit, rashin hankalin siyasar Birtaniya a 2017 ya tuna wa Harvey da Buckethead. Ya yanke shawarar cewa zai zama abin nishadi don dawo da shi.
Ya sami damar ci gaba da shirye-shiryen wasan kwaikwayonsa.
Dubi hoto a cikakken allo
Lord Buckethead yana daukar hoto tare da wasu daliban siyasa yayin kirga kuri'u a mazabar Theresa May ta Maidenhead a 2017. Hoton: Mark Kerrison/Alamy
"Zaben ya faru kuma ya zama sananne a duniya," in ji shi a cikin wani kwasfan fayiloli shekaru uku da suka wuce. "Har ya kai cewa a daren Alhamis, ina cikin dakin wasanni a Maidenhead, ina tsaye kusa da Theresa May yayin da ta rasa rinjayenta, kuma bayan kwana uku, an tashi da ni zuwa New York ta hanyar John Oliver don bayyana a shirinsa na HBO a matsayin babban baƙo mai ban mamaki."
Amma samun martabar kafafen yada labarai ya zo da matsaloli. Akwai takaddama game da haƙƙin mallaka tare da masu haƙƙin **Gremloids**. Harvey, wanda tun daga lokacin ya zama marubuci ga shirye-shirye kamar **The Thick of It** da **Have I Got News for You**, ya bar halin kuma ya ɗauki halin Count Binface don babban zaben 2019.
Duk da haka, darektan Hollywood na **Gremloids**, Todd Durham, ya tuntubi David Hughes, tsohon jami'in yada labarai na asali na Buckethead na 1987. Durham ya shawo kan Hughes ya tsaya a matsayin Buckethead a mazabar Boris Johnson ta Uxbridge.
Wannan ya kafa mataki don wani mummunan rikici yayin kirga kuri'u. Binface ya nutsar da tambayoyin Buckethead ta hanyar rera **The Star-Spangled Banner**, kuma Buckethead ya nuna wa Binface alamar rashin mutunci yayin da aka sanar da sakamakon.
"Ina tsammanin na sami kuri'u fiye da shi," in ji Hughes. "Amma mun je shan giya, kuma na yi tunani, a gaskiya, yana da kyau. Don haka sai Buckethead ya saka a Twitter – ina sarrafa asusun Twitter a lokacin – yana cewa: 'Ni dan damfara ne. Magajin gaskiya ga kursiyin Buckethead shine Count Binface, kuma na amince da shi gaba daya.'"
Dubi hoto a cikakken allo
Lord Buckethead, hagu, da Elmo suna kallon jawabin Boris Johnson bayan kirga kuri'un zaben Uxbridge da South Ruislip a 2019. Hoton: Kirsty Wigglesworth/AP
Yaya Hughes yake ji yanzu? "Mutane da yawa sun tuntube ni a cikin 'yan kwanakin da suka gabata, suna cewa, 'Me ya sa ba za ka tsaya a kan Binface ba?' da 'Zai zama yakin kwantena.' Amma a'a, na riga na yi hakan."
Hughes ya yarda cewa yana ganin aikin Binface ya dan tsufa kuma yana bukatar sabon abu. Harvey ya yi magana da rashin mutunci game da GB News a baya kuma ya nuna cewa babu wani abu da ya inganta tun 2010 – daidai lokacin da Labour ta rasa mulki a karshe.
Me ke motsa Harvey? "Ina tsammanin da gaske, fiye da kawai don dannawa da dariya, yana da imani cewa bangaren ban dariya na zabukan Birtaniya yana da kyau," in ji Hughes.
"Kuma akwai wannan dariya mara iyaka: akwai dan takara daya mai ban dariya, mai kwaikwayo, wanda bai dace ba gaba daya – kuma yana tsayawa a kan Count Binface. Wannan yana da ban dariya."
**Tambayoyi da Amsoshi**
**Tambaya: Wanene Count Binface?**
Amsa: Dan siyasar Birtaniya ne mai ban dariya kuma mai yin wasan kwaikwayo. Yana sanya kwandon azurfa a kansa kuma yana tsayawa takara don nuna ra'ayi game da siyasa da sharar gida.
**Tambaya: Menene "He gets a bit weird if you call him by his real name"?**
Amsa: Taken littafi ne game da rayuwar Count Binface, yakin neman zabe, da shahararsa. Taken wasa ne da ke nuni ga sirrin sunansa.
**Tambaya: Me ya sa yake sanya kwando a kansa?**
Amsa: Wasa ne na gani. Shi Count Binface ne—kamar kwandon shara don fuska. Yana nuna yadda yake tunanin 'yan siyasa suna cike da shara da almubazzaranci.
**Tambaya: Shin da gaske yana son cin zabe?**
Amsa: Ba haka ba. Manufarsa ita ce nuna muhimman batutuwa ta hanyar ban dariya da samun hankalin kafafen yada labarai ga manufofinsa.
**Tambaya: Menene ainihin sunansa?**
Amsa: Wannan bangare ne na wasan. Ba ya bayyana shi—don haka taken. Idan ka kira shi da shi, yakan zama dan ban mamaki.
**Tambaya: Menene wasu shahararrun manufofinsa?**
Amsa: Suna da wauta amma suna da ma'ana. Misalai: Kyautar biskit ga kowane mai jefa kuri'a, hana duk tarurrukan da za a iya aikawa da imel, da sanya kamshin croissant da aka gasa a karkashin kasa na London. Suna yin ba'a ga alkawuran siyasa na gaske.
**Tambaya: Ta yaya Count Binface ya fara shahara?**
Amsa: Ya fara a matsayin dan takara mai kwaikwayo a babban zaben Birtaniya na 2017, yana tsayawa a kan Firayim Minista na lokacin Theresa May. Wasanninsa da kamanninsa na kwando sun zama sananne, kuma ya sami labarai masu mahimmanci fiye da 'yan takara da yawa na gaske.
**Tambaya: Shin an taba zabe shi a wani matsayi?**
Amsa: A'a, amma ya kusa cin kujerun gida a zabukan alama. A 2021 ya ci zaben magajin garin London na kwaikwayo a kungiyar dalibai. Bai taba cin kujerar gwamnati ta gaske ba.
**Tambaya: Me ya sa mutane ke daukar shi da muhimmanci?**
