Every January, millions of us sit down and write out our goals for the year. By March, most of them are abandoned. So we set new ones in spring, and when September comes around, we do it all over again. New season, fresh start, same cycle—and plenty of self-criticism along the way. I lived this cycle for years. When I worked at Google as a digital health executive, I was a champion goal-setter with quarterly OKRs (objectives and key results) and a running list of personal goals I reviewed every week. On paper, it worked. By most external measures, I was successful. But I had this nagging feeling that I was running just to stay in the same place, like the Red Queen in Lewis Carroll’s Through the Looking-Glass.
After retraining as a neuroscientist and studying how the brain learns, I started to understand why. Goals work brilliantly under very specific conditions. You want to buy a car that fits three kids and costs under £25,000? Set a goal, do the research, buy the car. The destination is known and the path is clear.
But most of the things we care about don’t work that way. Figuring out what kind of career makes you feel alive. Becoming the kind of parent you didn’t have a model for. Working out what “healthy” means for you. The destination keeps shifting as you grow.
That’s why chasing goals doesn’t work for life’s most important questions—career, relationships, health. It’s like locking in your answer before you’ve understood the question. And when we cling to a destination and try to push through the uncertainty, we set ourselves up for frustration and self-blame.
The experimental mindset
Scientists have a different relationship with uncertainty. They work with it. They wonder whether something will work, then design experiments to find out. Whatever the outcome, their only goal is to learn.
This is what I call the “experimental mindset.” It uses your brain’s natural ability to make predictions about what will happen next, and to learn when those predictions turn out to be wrong. Most of us experience this as failure and try to avoid that feeling—so we stick to the plan, we double down.
The experimental mindset does the opposite. Instead of asking, “Am I there yet?”, you ask, “What can I learn?” This helps you try new approaches, pay attention to what actually happens, and change direction when the evidence points somewhere new. The life you end up building is yours, not a copy-paste of someone else’s blueprint for success.
So what does this look like when you’re weighing whether to leave a job, if a relationship has a future, or how to rebuild your social life after a big move? It all starts with designing a tiny experiment.
How to design a tiny experiment
All good experimentation begins with observation. Start by spending a bit of time observing your own life. I like to pretend I’m an anthropologist for 24 hours, taking field notes. What gives me energy? What drains it? Who are the people I love talking to? What are the ideas I can’t stop thinking about? Jot it all down on your phone or in a notebook.
Having coached thousands of people through this process, I can guarantee that you will spot areas of your life that are ripe for experimentation: routines you’ve been running on autopilot, such as checking your phone before you get out of bed, saying yes to every meeting invite, eating lunch at your desk because that’s what everyone does; commitments you’ve been accepting as part of the job, or part of the relationship; habits that are sabotaging your health. Those observations become the starting point for your first experiment.The great news is you don’t need a lab. If you strip an experiment down to its most basic parts, it’s really just two decisions: something to test and a trial period.
In fact, every experiment can be boiled down to one line: “I will [action] for [duration].” That’s it. That’s your plan. You’re not committing to a big goal. You’re just running a tiny experiment.
Your career as a laboratory
We spend a huge part of our lives at work, and our career is closely tied to who we are. That makes it feel risky to experiment. Add economic uncertainty, and most of us think, “I can’t afford to try things.”
But staying stuck in the wrong career also costs us: time, energy, and the chance to figure out what we really want. So instead of waiting until you feel ready to make a big change, try something small enough that it doesn’t feel like a risk. For example: “I will spend 30 minutes a day reading newsletters.” “For a month, I will set aside one afternoon a week for deep creative work.” “This quarter, I will have three coffee chats with people in jobs I’m curious about.”
None of these require turning your life upside down, but they can lead to unexpected opportunities. For instance, I committed to writing a weekly newsletter for 20 weeks. That experiment led to a consulting business and an online community of people interested in those ideas, which eventually led to writing my first book. At no point did I set a goal to become an author, but that experiment opened doors I didn’t even know existed.
Experimenting in relationships
We fall into patterns with the people closest to us—who calls whom, what you talk about, how you spend time together—and those patterns can become rigid without anyone really choosing them.
Using an experimental mindset here means noticing those habits and testing whether something different might work better. For example, replace one weekly catch-up call with doing an activity together for six weeks, or reach out to one person you’ve lost touch with each week for a month.
You won’t know which of these will help, but that’s the point. Each experiment teaches you something about what nurtures the relationships that matter most to you—and what doesn’t.
Whether you’re training for a marathon or trying to sleep better, the approach is the same: instead of following a rigid plan with borrowed goals, design your own.
The same mindset works for romantic relationships. A friend of mine was single and, instead of setting a goal to find a partner by the end of the year, he ran a series of experiments: trying singles events, asking friends for introductions, testing different apps. Treating each one as an experiment rather than a pass-or-fail test gave him the chance to notice what he was drawn to. Instead of asking himself, “Was that person The One?” he would reflect on what he enjoyed and what he learned about himself. It took the pressure off and helped him figure out what he really wanted—which turned out to be less about finding someone impressive and more about finding someone he could talk to honestly.
And you don’t have to experiment alone. Parents can design experiments with their children, like replacing screen time before bed with reading together for two weeks, or letting a teenager cook dinner once a month. Couples can try new date-night ideas. Friends can commit to trying something new at the same time. In fact, some of the most rewarding experiments are the ones you run with someone else.
What does ‘healthy’ look like for you?
Wellness is the area most full of one-size-fits-all goals: 10,000 steps, eight glasses of water, lose X pounds by summer. And we either push through them with sheer willpower or feel like failures when we can’t stick to them.
This is where the gap between generic advice and your own reality becomes clear.Often, the widest range of approaches works best. What suits one person’s body, schedule, and stress levels can be completely different from what works for someone else. Yet we keep adopting other people’s goals as if they were universal rules.
An experimental mindset can change how you view wellness entirely: instead of following someone else’s idea of health and forcing yourself to stick to it, you run experiments to find out what truly works for your body, mind, and life.
Even a straightforward goal like running a marathon can benefit from this approach. You don’t know how your body will react to training, what nutrition you need on long runs, or how to manage fatigue. The finish line may be set, but everything in between is an experiment.
Whether you’re training for a marathon or just trying to sleep better, the method is the same: rather than following a rigid plan with borrowed goals, you create your own. For example: “I’ll exercise in the morning instead of the evening for two weeks.” “I’ll go to bed at the same time every night for 10 days.” “I’ll cut out processed food for a month.”
Each trial gives you real data about your own body, rather than following someone else’s rules. Over time, these experiments build a definition of “healthy” that’s uniquely yours.
Tiny Experiments: How to Live Freely in a Goal-Obsessed World by Anne-Laure Le Cunff is published by Profile at £10.99. To support the Guardian, order your copy at guardianbookshop.com. Delivery charges may apply.
Frequently Asked Questions
Here is a list of FAQs about the concept of small experiments versus big life goals written in a natural tone with clear direct answers
BeginnerLevel Questions
1 Whats wrong with chasing big life goals
Big goals can feel overwhelming and far away When you dont hit them quickly its easy to feel like a failure which leads to disappointment and giving up
2 What do you mean by small experiments
A small experiment is a tiny lowrisk action you take to test something out Instead of saying I will start a business you try I will sell one item online this week and see what happens
3 How is an experiment different from a goal
A goal is about achieving a specific outcome An experiment is about learning Experiments take the pressure off
4 Can you give me an example of a small experiment
Sure Instead of the big goal Become a professional writer try the experiment Write 100 words every day for one week and post it on a blog The goal is to learn not to be perfect
5 Why would I try this if I have big dreams
Because small experiments actually help you build momentum You learn what you like what works and you avoid the crash of disappointment Small steps often lead to bigger things without the stress
Advanced Practical Questions
6 How do I know which experiment to try first
Pick one thing that feels slightly scary but exciting Ask yourself Whats one tiny action I could take this week that would teach me something about this dream Start there
7 What if my small experiment fails
Thats the beauty of experimentstheres no failure only data If it doesnt work you ask What did I learn and then design a slightly different experiment Youre a scientist not a judge
8 How long should I run an experiment for
Keep it shortusually one to four weeks Long enough to see a pattern but short enough that you dont get bored or overwhelmed You can always extend it if its working
