A kan tashar YouTube ta Tess Lavanda, wani bidiyo ya yi fice da yawan kallo fiye da sauran. Mai taken "Ba ni da abokai," an kalla shi fiye da rabin miliyan sau tun lokacin da ta buga shi wata daya da ya wuce. A kan Instagram, ta raba dimbin reels masu taken kamar "Na cika shekara 22 ni kadai," "Zama ni kadai a Landan," da kuma "Jin kadaici a wannan bazara ba laifi ba ne," kowanne yana jan dubban kallo da daruruwan sharhi, da yawa daga mutanen da suke jin haka.
Bincike mai sauri kan kalmomi kamar "solomaxxing," "loneliness influencer," da kuma "no friends aesthetic" yana fitar da daruruwan bidiyoyi da posts daga mutane—dayawa daga cikinsu matasa ne—suna magana akan yadda rayuwa take ba tare da abokai ba.
"Ina jin mutane suna samun sauki domin a karshe ana magana akan hakan," in ji Lavanda, mai shekara 22. "Babu wanda ya ji karfin gwiwa ya yi magana akai saboda akwai wannan al'ada inda mutane ke ganin zama kadai abin kunya ne kuma ba daidai ba."
Wani sabon bincike daga Cibiyar Nazarin Manufofin Jama'a ta Institute for Public Policy Research, wanda aka fitar a wannan makon, ya gano cewa adadin matasa a Ingila da ba su da abokan kurkusa ya karu sau biyar tun daga 2014, yanzu yana tsaye a daya cikin 20. Adadin da ke karuwa kuma suna cewa ba su gamsu da abokan da suke da su ba.
Lavanda ta ce: "Ina jin akwai rashin kuzari ga mutane su fita su hadu da wasu, kuma idan ka fita, mutane suna kan wayoyinsu, don haka yana da wahala ka tunkare su."
Ta ko da yaushe tana kokawa wajen yin abokai, amma a lokacin cutar annoba ne "rashin abota ta gaskiya ya shafe ni da gaske" kuma ta fara jin an ware ta. "Ba ni da wanda zan yi magana da shi, kuma na shiga wani hali mai duhu," in ji ta.
Sai wata dare, yayin da take shirin fita ita kadai tana jin "tsoro da muni sosai," ta dauki kyamararta ta fara magana.
Lavanda ta ce: "Ba ni da niyyar buga shi. Bidiyo ne kawai na kaina, game da yadda nake ji, don in karfafa kaina, da gaske. Amma sai na yi tunani watakila wannan zai taimaki wani, don haka na buga shi.
"Na yi cikakken tsammanin za a yi min shari'a da cin zarafi, amma martanin ya kasance mai kyau sosai. Mutane suna raba labarun kansu, kuma na gane cewa mutane da yawa suna jin daidai haka."
Ta lura akwai karuwar yanayi na sanya rayuwar kadaici ta zama "kyakkyawa ko romanticized," amma bidiyoyinta sun fi game da nuna wa mutanen da ba su da abokai cewa ba su kadai ba. "Ina jin mutane suna samun kwanciyar hankali a cikin gaskiyar cewa yanzu akwai murya akan wannan batu," in ji ta. "Yana da muhimmanci a yi gaskiya kuma a yi magana."
An yi ta tattaunawa mai girma game da dalilin da yasa matasa a yau ke bayar da rahoton cewa suna da abokan da suka rage fiye da al'ummomin da suka gabata—cakuda kafofin sada zumunta, matsalolin lafiyar kwakwalwa, cutar annoba ta Covid, da rashin kwanciyar hankali na kudi ana yawan ambaton su.
Pamela Qualter, babbar masaniyar kimiyya a Burtaniya kan kadaicin yara da matasa, ta ce babu amsoshi masu sauki. Amma a bayyane yake cewa, a matsayin al'umma, mun kawar da wuraren da matasa za su iya gwada dabarun zamantakewa na asali kamar cewa "sannu."
"Mun rasa wadancan maganganu masu sauki da kake yi kowace rana da wanda ka ci karo da shi," in ji ta. "Mutane da yawa suna aiki daga gida, kuma mutane suna da karancin kudin shiga a lokacin da babu wurare masu kyauta ko masu rahusa da mutane za su hadu."
Qualter ta ce wadannan "dangantaka masu rauni"—kananan mu'amala da sanannun—su ne ke samar da tubalan gini da dabarun zamantakewa da za su iya girma zuwa abota mai karfi.
Amma ta jaddada cewa babu wata shaida mai yawa da ke nuna cewa matasa a zahiri suna kara kadaici: wadanda ke tsakanin shekaru 14 zuwa 24 suna bayar da rahoton mafi girman matakan kadaici a Burtaniya, amma wannan ya kasance haka ko da yaushe. "Watakila tsammaninmu game da abota yana canzawa. Watakila wadanda ke da karancin abokan kurkusa sun gamsu da hakan," in ji ta.
Koyaya, akwai kuma shaida cewa matasa suna kara rashin gamsuwa da abokan da suke da su. Jodie-Leigh Foster, jami'ar horarwa da ci gaba a UK Youth, tana koyar da ma'aikatan matasa game da kadaici da warewa tsakanin matasa, da kuma taimaka wa matasa su fara ayyukan nasu don magance matsalar.
Ta ce matasa da yawa suna kokawa da ingancin abotarsu. "Wadannan abota ne da sukan faru a kan kafofin sada zumunta da kuma a cikin group chats, wadanda za su iya rikidewa da sauri zuwa cin zarafi da tsangwama," in ji ta. "Wannan yana kai su ga jin an ware su kuma sun janye."
Kudi kuma galibi matsala ce: wasu matasa sun ce ba za su iya biyan kudin sufuri don ganin abokai a wajen makaranta ba. Wasu suna ganin manyan wurare masu cunkoso suna da wahala, musamman tun bayan cutar annoba, wanda ya kara matakan damuwa.
Foster ta ce: "Mutane suna zaton kasancewa matashi yana nufin lokacin rayuwa marar damuwa, tare da dukan duniya a hannunka. Amma ga wasu matasa, wannan abin ban tsoro ne kuma mai tsoratarwa. Lokaci ne mai wahala na zama matashi."
