It’s 4 a.m. and I’m in a club — the first time I’ve done this in years. I’m 51 and in my sandwich era, which means I’m constantly thinking about my teenage kids and elderly loved ones. That usually calls for early nights. But when you’re maxed out on responsibilities, sometimes you need the opposite. A blowout. A huge, transcendent, resetting release. A rave.
I don’t know why it took me so long to get back to it. Misplaced parental guilt? Internalized ageism? Exhaustion? It’s not like I didn’t know other Gen Xers who’ve been regularly getting blissfully — even ceremonially — lost in house, techno, or drum and bass. And they’re not alone. A 2025 study from the University of Leeds went viral. “Women aged 40-65 are turning to raves for real mental health,” said one of many Instagram posts and press headlines. “Why many women over 40 still go to raves,” read another. But really, the question should be: why the hell wouldn’t they?
Many of those who go never actually stopped. Of the 136 women surveyed for the study, “82% had been attending for more than 20 years,” says one of its authors, Alinka Greasley, a professor of music psychology at the University of Leeds. “I’m a DJ myself,” she says. “I still go out raving and I’ve been doing so for 26 years.”
But others like me had stopped, only to come back when the need became almost desperate. There’s a small amount of psychological research on why clubbers stop as they get older. Women often cite family responsibilities, says Greasley, “or say, ‘I feel that women my age shouldn’t be out doing those activities.’” Joanna, 50, started clubbing again six years ago and now goes every few months with old friends. “There’s something about it being completely separate from parenting and work that feels really special,” she says. She realized she had been missing nightlife when her children were very young. “And I love club culture,” she says.
When her friend first suggested going raving, Joanna’s internalized ageism showed up. “I was so resistant, I was almost repulsed by the idea of a woman in her 40s going clubbing — and possibly taking drugs.” This discomfort with entering spaces traditionally linked to youth culture is common. Greasley says that before she and her colleague Alice O’Grady did the study, women O’Grady had interviewed earlier “had experienced comments on the dancefloor like, ‘Whose mum are you?’” And while some said they dressed up for self-expression, many dressed down to avoid standing out in a crowd of 18- to 25-year-olds. Other comments included things like, “Oh, can I take a photo of you?” or “Wow, I hope I’m still clubbing when I’m your age.” But, says Greasley, “negative attitudes were not a defining part of their participation.” Quite the opposite.
The music itself and dancing were the biggest draws for the women, followed by socializing with friends. But, “overwhelmingly,” says Greasley, “they reported feeling a really strong sense of belonging. There’s a strong theme of age being irrelevant. They talk about making friends with people from different generations — mostly they go to spend time with their own friends, but they also get something from being there around other people.” A couple of women even said they go with their children “and feel at home.”
Rachel Giddings, a psychotherapist who works with (mostly EDM) artists on their wellbeing and uses psycho-Using dance to refine their performances, she says, “Women often feel lost in society at a certain age. But when you enter an inclusive dance space, you step into a liminal place where time disappears and everyone is treated as equal. It doesn’t matter if you’re a CEO, a road sweeper, a woman or a man, 25 or 55—you can access that space, and it gives you a sense of belonging.”
Joanna says she initially felt noticeably like “a mum” and thought, “Oh, I won’t know how to dance anymore. But after going once, that feeling faded. There are a lot of young girls out, but you also see people in their 30s, 40s, 50s, and eventually you stop noticing.” On one early night out, she saw a couple in the queue who looked like they might be in their 60s. “She was wearing a tweed suit—it was almost like they were in costume, like, ‘Hi, we’re the old couple.’ But I saw them dancing later, and that made me feel much better.” In any case, she says, clubbing now isn’t about trying to reconnect with her younger self. “I’m seeing what it’s like these days, and I quite like it. It’s something you can dip into and out of.”
My big night out was in a huge club mostly filled with young people, but every glance from strangers felt warm, inclusive, and full of shared wonder. To be fair, almost everyone seemed high or drunk or both, but as Giddings points out—without judging either way—you can reach that awe-filled, transcendent state without drugs. “These psychological states are absolutely reachable without substances,” she says. When she posts about this on social media, she notes, “There are thousands of comments from people saying, ‘I’ve never taken a drug in my life, but I feel these feelings,’ or ‘I used to do drugs and don’t anymore, and I still feel these feelings.'”
Giddings says part of her mission is to change society’s view of rave culture as naughty or illicit. “When you go out on the dancefloor, you’re doing it because it’s healing, because it’s connective.” People often say clubbing is escapist, “but actually, reframing it: it’s self-regulation together. We say, ‘I’m escaping my normal life,’ but really we’re seeking togetherness, identity, and belonging.”
This idea of raving for well-being, as Giddings points out, also appeals to Gen Z—an unprecedentedly health-conscious youth group. “At age 14, they’re in my gym on the treadmill next to me,” she says. Even on basic levels, clubbing now is more clean-cut than in the 90s. Joanna says when she first started going again, “I was stunned by needing a photo ID, and the air conditioning—no sweat dripping from the ceilings. And no one’s smoking inside, obviously, so your hair and clothes don’t stink.”
Dancing all night is undeniably exercise and comes with added mental health benefits that can be especially helpful when you’re middle-aged, burned out, or perimenopausal. Greasley says these include “feeling alive and energized, both during and after. And many women report that being able to go out, enjoy nights, and dance for hours has a positive impact on lowering anxiety, depression, and low moods.” I’ve often compared the mood swings of perimenopause to the “hormonal” moods of adolescence—perhaps for women, it’s during both these times that we most need a release.
Dancing with others is especially healing. As Greasley says, “People moving together increases social connection and bonding.”Music increases social connection and bonding, and I think this is especially true for beat-based music. Research shows that when our bodies synchronize to an external rhythm—a process called entrainment—it leads to feelings of pleasure and social connectedness. EDM is designed to build anticipation, leading to huge collective highs. “You get buildups and breaks—the moment when you know the beat is about to return after a long pause—and everyone starts moving together. That creates these deeply pleasurable, embodied experiences, and can trigger powerful emotions and chills throughout the body.”
“The group becomes one organism,” says Giddings. “We start syncing into each other’s nervous systems. When you’re waiting for the beat, your heart rate rises, and then boom—there’s that somatic release of energy. We can let go of the stress we brought with us, the stress we don’t want anymore.”
She also says it’s an opportunity for women “to reclaim their identity beyond being a carer, a parent, or a worker. I’m not just one-dimensional—I’m multifaceted, and this amazing part of me can be spontaneous, free, and connected.”
For those put off by late nights, Greasley notes, “all sorts of events are popping up, aimed at older people. Here in Leeds, I’ve noticed more raves starting at 6pm and finishing at midnight. I love going to them myself. You can dance for hours and still be in bed by midnight or 1am.”
This suits the original acts and DJs, who have also aged. EDM clubbing started in the 80s, so, says Greasley, “while it remains a youth culture, the culture as a whole has grown older.” In November, Leftfield performed at an event with promoters Bugged Out! at Drumsheds—a former Ikea store in north London that holds 15,000 people—running from 1pm to 10.30pm.
But Joanna says she loves her occasional late nights. “Going out and staying up until 3am or 4am—when I tell some people that, they’re horrified, but I find it really energizing. Obviously, not all the time, or if I have full-on childcare the next day.”
It took me days to recover from my late night. I didn’t get to bed until after 5am, ears ringing, my body clock thinking it was nearly time to wake up. I slept terribly, but I felt revived in other ways. Being at the rave didn’t make me feel old. I felt like I’d come home. After all, my generation invented this.
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Frequently Asked Questions
Here is a list of FAQs about the trend of middleaged women embracing raving covering definitions benefits and practical advice
1 What exactly is raving for middleaged women
Its not just about illegal drugs and allnight parties anymore For this group raving usually means attending electronic dance music festivals club nights or sober dance events The focus is on the music dancing freely and the community feelingoften without substances
2 Why is this suddenly so popular with women in their 40s 50s and 60s
Many women grew up with this music in the 90s and early 2000s Now with more free time disposable income and a desire to reclaim their identity outside of family or work theyre returning to the scene Its a powerful way to feel young energetic and connected
3 What are the major health benefits of going to a rave at this age
The benefits are significant and backed by science Dancing for hours provides excellent cardiovascular exercise The social connection fights loneliness The music and movement release endorphins and dopamine which reduce stress boost mood and can even help with symptoms of perimenopause and menopause
4 Isnt it dangerous for someone my age to be up all night dancing
Not if youre smart about it The key is preparation and listening to your body Many women go for a few hours not all night They wear supportive shoes stay hydrated and take breaks Its actually safer for your heart than a sudden highintensity gym workout because you control the pace
5 Do I have to take drugs or drink alcohol to fit in
Absolutely not The modern rave scene especially with the rise of sober raving and psytrance events is very accepting of people who are completely sober Many women find the natural high of dancing and the music to be more than enough You can just say Im here for the music and the dance
6 Im worried about looking out of place What should I wear
Comfort and expression are key Forget the tiny outfits from your 20s Think supportive sneakers like Hokas or Nikes
